Monday, October 20, 2008

Eyebrow maintenance

On lunch time!

I remember when I first moved to SLC after I graduated from Utah State, I went to a Valentine's Day dance. People from all over SLC and Provo went down south, dressed up all fancy schmancy and met up to celebrate being single on Valentine's Day aka Single's Awareness Day. I remember talking to one gentleman, let's call him Bernard, who talked to me for at least 45 minutes. We totally hit it off and danced a good 15 times. Well, by the end of the night, Bernard scored my number and ended up calling me to ask me out for the next Thursday evening. I was ecstatic.

Bernard was fantastic. He was so intriguing to me and I loved listening to him tell me stories of all these place he had gone. We talked on the phone for hours even before he came up to Salt Lake to take me out. Well, Thursday came around and he took me to a Thai restaurant. The conversation was great. He chatted and chatted, and I would interject with, "No way," "You are kidding," "Oh, that is awesome." I would ask questions and truly engaged myself in what he was saying. Bernard was non-stop talk....and I loved it, because I remember how sometimes I was (am) non-stop talk, so it was good to be on the listening end ;) At the end of the date, we went back to my place and people came over to watch our show at the time, Alias. I always had Alias parties and I informed my date that we were having one, just in random conversation, and he said he loved that show, so we included that as part of the date.

After all was said and done, my friends came over, we watched the show and talked for hours afterward. We laughed and laughed and had a great time. Bernard seemed to get along swimmingly with the rest of the crowd and really looked like he was having a good time. He had to leave early, so I said goodbye, letting him know I had a good time and would like to get together again. He shared the same sentiment and left smiling.

So, what does this have to do with eyebrows...oh, allow me to continue. So, being the girly girl that I am, I waited to hear from Bernard...and mid-way through the next week thought..."Oh dear, he doesn't like me. He hasn't called. What happened? It was a fantastic date....what's the deal?" You know, girly stuff like that.

After two weeks, I had HAD it. Being brave...and sometimes outspokenly stupid, I emailed him. I forgot to mention that we emailed back and forth as well as chatted on the phone prior to the date. So, I emailed him something flirty and asking him to rate the date. That's right...rate the date. I just thought it would be a fun way we could flirt.

Well, apparently, I opened a can. Bernard wrote me a 6-page letter on the date. There were many things complimented, including how I looked, my demeanor, spirit, intellect, etc. I smiled whilst I read the detail. Then he got to the other stuff like how he really didn't know anything about me because I did not confide in him, not to mention the fact that the conversation with my friends reminded him of a high school English class or a hair salon. I was shocked. I had the exact opposite experience, but hey, I asked him to rate the date, so I kept reading. The very last line of his email was: "Besides those other things, I really had an enjoyable time. My sister's would kill me if they knew I was going to say this, but I think you would be more attractive if only you would trim your eyebrows a little better. They were a little out of control."

That's right...eyebrows! I kept the email and have it on file as one of the most ridiculously funny things I have ever had written to me or about me in my life. I chuckle at this whole incident....I am sure you are wondering whatever happened to Bernard, but that is not the point. The point is eyebrows, of which I have a bush full.

As a matter of fact, I have maintained my eyebrows since my freshman year of college, and have since started going to get my eyebrows done by professionals, who know a lot more about them than I do. I never would have thought to get them done, until one day, I looked in the mirror and you couldn't tell if that patch of black was really part of my hair, or if it was an eyebrow extension. So, sometimes when we have time to spare on our trips, Rachel (my boss) and I go to the salon and I get my eyebrows waxed and she gets her nails done.

Rachel had a wax party at her house the other day, where I also had a chance to learn all about my eyebrows. Well, apparently, the last person who waxed my eyebrows decided to take more off than is generally recommended. I didn't know this, but if you hold a pencil to your nose and follow it up the line of your face, your eyebrows should begin where the pencil lands. I know that doesn't make sense, but hold the pencil next to your nose in a straight line. Allow your nostril to hit the edge of the pencil. Hold it vertical. See your eyebrows? Yeah, your eyebrows should begin where the pencil is hitting near your brow bone. Make sense yet? Well, if it doesn't, I apologize...

I just want to warn everyone, I am very aware of my eyebrows right now because I have been asked by my eyebrowist to grow them out so she can shape them the true way that will make my eyes POP a little more. I can't help but feel like a bush...not only that, but it takes me back to a time in my life where eyebrows really kept me from having a relationship ;) ha ha...totally kidding, but REALLY, how much brow is too much brow?

I am leaving on vacation in a week and I wonder if I should just shoddily maintain the brows I do have, just for the time being...instead of looking like I have never maintained them at all. Sure, I know you are all thinking this is ridiculous and why should it matter what people think....well, APPARENTLY it matters a lot ;) Ha ha.

I love my brows and apologize to anyone who thinks that I may not maintain them to their standard. I will probably still have the uni-brow waxed just for my own satisfaction...but other then that, I plan on keeping these brows...bulky and all!

So, if you are wondering if Bernard's comment got to I really need to defend myself, really against this accusation and how I responded to it? Nah.

The point is: I am who I am...bushy eyebrows and all.


Lish Fish said...

Youve done it again Linds. I am cracking up! I love it. It totally must be a Blau thing...have you really noticed our dads'?? HOLY! And then there is Bart (as in Ernie and Bart)...I mean Jed. WOW! Thankfully, I have Marcus, who seriously does my eyebrows. I would love to go to and eyebrowist class, that would be awesome.

Have a great time in Greece. Take lots of pics and let me know how everything is!

Lish Fish said...

I mean BERT!!! Is it so sad that I, who has 3 kids, had to call Jeff to find that out? I knew Bart sounded funny...Lol. BERT!!

Lish Fish said...

And I was also informed that it is BERT and Ernie...Never Ernie and Bert. So there you have it.

Unknown said...

That is hilarious! What guts a guy has to critique eyebrows...we women are very aware how important they are ;)

p.s. I like full eyebrows although I was not blessed with them myself. There are a lot of actresses that have full eyebrows and are very attractive :)

Globe Trecker said...

You are a great writer, no matter what the subject (eyebrows to dating to travel). Love it!

Carolyn Hanson said...

Thanks for entertaining me. You're great, Lindsay! And your right, your brows are part of you. A good part. :)

me said...

That letter is ridiculous! Also I would like to say that I have known you since fifth grade and have never noticed anything bad about your eyebrows. And according to the Image section of the LA Times, fuller eyebrows are back in style.

The Solomon Fam said...

Wow, I can't believe he said that to you. I didn't realize I had awful eyebrows until I got to college. But I have looked back at earlier pictures from Highschool and sure wish someone had told me how bad my eyebrows looked! I too go to someone who knows how to make them look nice. I am just not that talented!

caryn said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! You are awesome. Rock those eyebrows, Lindsey! Bernard is a dork.

Unstoppable Lindsey said...

Lish fish: I was laughing SO hard at your comment!! AWESOME. I totally knew who you meant by the way, as I have often compared my brows to

Heidi: Seriously, boys have no idea what we go through...and it isn't for them, oh no...not at all. I've been told that I have the brows of the young Brook Shields. Compliment? I will take it!

John n Angela: Thanks for the compliment you little sugar bean you!! I appreciate it! It would just be boring if people didn't write about random eyebrows!

Carolyn Hanson: Ah...why thank you. It was either that or write about the time my boss encouraged me to get my nose waxed. Don't worry, I didn't give in!

Me: Why thank you my dear middle school friend! Seriously...brows were never the talk back then...but maybe they should have been. I am going for the Lourdes look myself. Apparently she is really in right now.

Solomon Family: I know right?? I never really thought about my brows until college...and even then, didn't even really start until like two years ago...HELLO, what were we thinking!!?

Caryn: Rockin like a tiger!! Yeah, granted Bernard and I never went out again. When I saw him at a Halloween shindig (where he was dressed as Tarzan...topless and scrawny), he said, "Oh yeah, we should go out again sometime." I just smiled and said, "No thanks...but great Halloween costume."I agree...uber dork!

caryn said...

That's funny(about your attachment to pumpkins). As we were leaving we told Ben we were going to cut the pumpkins up and turn them into jack-o-lanterns, and he was very sad until we told him that all pumpkins want to be jack-o-lanterns, they get sad when they don't have faces. Ha ha.

Anonymous said...

I am glad you didn't react to Bernard. I would have!!! I too am growing out my eyebrows and they are pretty bushy right now. You are so funny, and I love reading your posts. They keep me coming back for more!!

Tara Bergsjo said...

That was so funny! I rally needed to hear that tonight! I love you and your eyebrows! Love ya!!

Unstoppable Lindsey said...

Caryn: almost have to soften the blow for all the kids. Remember, pumpkins are important...they have feelings!

Schneider fam: Yeah, I should have socked him in the stomach. It's hard to grow them out, isn't it! I know. CONFESSION-I may have trimmed them a little without permission AAH!

Tara: You know what's are part of the family! YIKES....they are crazy...out of control. Case and point-Brad and Deno, not to mention Colin has to compensate for what is lost! Sure love you sugar bean. Hope things are well for you and the fam...if you need to chat, give me a call!

Anonymous said...


Do these eyebrow standards apply to guys too or just girls? Maybe this could improve my dating life :)

The Regimballe Family said...

Oh Lindsey! That's hilarious! Glad you have your "problem" under control now! :-)

{Jeff+Elisa} said...

Oh Lindsey!!! Ha ha ha...please tell me what happened with you and Bernard...I'm dying to know! I love your eyebrows, I would give anything to have more eyebrows!! Do you know that I really don't have to pluck mine cause there is none there? Thanks for the laughs...that was a funny post! Check out my blog when you get the chance! LOVE YOU!

Unstoppable Lindsey said...

Just and Holy: Oh most certainly applies to men...but be careful, you don't want to end up looking like a chick. (FRIENDS: When Joey gets his eyebrows done). Oh, and sometimes, if you have nasty hairs on your ears, that might help with the whole 'second date' factor. ;) But as far as I could tell, you are not that hairy...I don't think you have that much to worry about.

Merri: Oh, youbetchya. I had my IT guy take a pic of the 'growing out' eyebrow process yesterday. So now I have before's and after's. I'll have to show you sometime.

Jeff and Elisa: Oh...I don't remember the balding brow. I will have to look closer at your profile pic. Bernard...well, let's just say I saw him once after the fact and walked the other direction. Glad you found me on the blog sister...will be looking for you!