Date Auction

The single's congregation is up to it again...and seriously...my hats off to them! The Langley Social Club, another non-confrontational name for the Langley Dating Committee, will be hosting a date auction tomorrow!

I am truly and legitimately excited, and love the idea of an anonymous date auction. Here is how it works:

The date (which is submitted by the one who want to go on the date), whether individual or group, will be awarded to one bidder of the opposite sex with the highest bid. For group dates, it is up to the potential dater and the winning bidder to then choose the other participants on the date.

Rules for Auctioners

• The dater will be responsible to pay for the date and all participants unless stated otherwise or have already planned to split the costs with a friend. If the dater would like to change the original date idea, they can let the Langley Social Club know before the auction.
• The dater is responsible for coordinating with the bidder the details of the date, including when, where, who's driving, etc.
  

The Langley Social Club also included these couple caveats:

• Please contact the bidder in a timely manner and be considerate and cooperative
• Have fun and have an open mind
  
• Be willing to get to know someone even if you think you already know them
• The Church does not reimburse anyone for dates
  

My Excitement
As you know from previous blog posts, I love attending and participating in new date ideas. For the date auction, I submitted 5 date ideas of things I have wanted to do around DC but didn't want to do by myself. I can't tell you my date ideas yet, because they are supposed to be anonymous....but I can tell you that they are AWESOME! 5 seemed like a good number.

My Beef
Once again, I was surprised by the response I received from the Langley Social Club. If you recall, a couple months ago, I signed up for an 8-person group date and was told the day prior that I was chosen to no longer participate because there weren't enough men (they were 1 short-lol). That was no biggy. I get it. But then I got this email after submitting my date auction ideas:

Hi Lindsey,

Thanks for all of your submissions. We would love to auction off all of your ideas, but in order to give the auction some variety, we will not be taking date idea #3. We have already had a few other people submit the date to go X, so if you would like to submit another date in place of this one, please let us know.

Thanks again for your participation in the auction!

Seriously!!! I wanted to respond and say this:

I think depriving me of date #3, just because it is a popular idea, is crap.....just like I was deprived of the group date one month ago.....

Too many unknown provisions to this dating auction.....

I am only half serious.

But I probably won't. Sigh, the other date ideas are great too.....I guess I will have to do date #3 on my own, sans the dating auction.

Rejected by a dating service

Ok, so maybe I am over exaggerating on the whole 'rejection' bit, but I just had to share this hilarious email I received after having signed up to go on a date with someone from another ward. (Ward being what we call another congregation in our church...it does not refer to the 'crazy' ward).

First, let me premise that I have been very anti about "social dating services" that the single's congregation provides. You know, I have been in several single congregations that try to encourage dating amongst our peers. People in the congregation are actually given callings (which are kind of like volunteer positions where you are responsible for certain action items in the congregation.) I have listed some of my favorite and not so favorite ways my single's ward has tried to help daters and non-daters alike.

8 at 8

One of my ward did a dating service called "8 at 8." In this dating activity, there are four couples that meet at 8:00 and go out to dinner, or do some kind of awesome activity like bowling, skating, etc. It is a good way to have fun with peers who want to go out and get to know one another on a date, but also a little more casually.

Date Box

I have also been privy to the 'date box' where those who want to participate can fill out a piece of paper either connecting two people they think should hook up, or anonymously putting in their own name with someone they have been wanting to go out with.

The 'date box' committee (planners) then call both parties written on the piece of paper to see:
a. See if they even want to go out without disclosing the name of the other person
b. If both parties agree to go out with the anonymous date, the member of the date box committee gives the lady's contact information to the gentleman.
c. The date should only last about 30 minutes, and is not meant to break the bank.

I actually had one date from this activity. Yes, I put my own name in. Thank you Dave for the hot chocolate and cheese fries!

Incentives Plan

I also had several friends in other single's wards who were EXTREMELY encouraged date to the point where their Bishop (priesthood leader of the congregation) would offer them incentives like:

a. Basketball tickets to NBA finals with the Jazz (these tickets are hundreds of dollars)
b. Symphony tickets
c. Cabin retreat day package, complete with four wheelers, lunch, and other provisions. Not for an overnight stay, but sort of like a day pass.

Speed Dating

Oh, and let's not forget all those amazing speed dating exercises. These activities allow me to talk to a person for 3 minutes, just like I would at a crazy single's party! Just enough time to see whether or not they can be my eternal companion! I jest, but you catch my drift....and I am sure have figured out that speed dating is not my fave activity.

Confession

I admit, I was one of those girls who thought the idea of being lined up by other church members who didn't really know me, was dumb. But, I made a clear resolution (before New Year's) to try out new ways of meeting men. So, not only was I resolved to meet men at the grocery store who happen to select the same exotic cheese as I do, but I would also give set up dates by the church a whirl.

I was excited to get to know other single's from another ward in my area. My hand shot up before the announcement was even over. The date entailed that 5 or so of us girls meet men from the other ward, and 5 or so of men in our ward would get to meet women from the other ward. It was supposed to happen this Saturday night.

The Email

Alas, alak. I guess it just wasn't meant to happen for me. It kind of reminds me of this job search journey a little...sheesh. I got this email this morning:

Thank you for signing up for our date night with the DC 2nd ward. Unfortunately, we were unable to get enough men from their ward to sign up, thus not everyone who signed up will have a date that night. However, here are some options:

- If you would still like to participate, we will do our very best to find a date for you on that night. We may match you with someone in Langley (we'll even take special requests).

- If you would no longer like to participate, we will keep you at the top of our list for our next dating activity should you choose to sign up.

- If you don't care about having a date but would still like to see the show, we will keep a ticket reserved for you.

Please respond to this email by 10pm on Wednesday, 12/14, with your preferred choice and we will do our best to accommodate you. We are so sorry that this activity has not turned out as planned so far. We hope you join us for another activity in the future.

Thanks for your understanding!

***

Hilarious, right? To tell you the truth, I am pretty confident that 2012 will be my extreme dating year ;) So, bring it on single's ward....you have one more year to work on it. And boys....man up!

Letter to Universe

Dear Universe,

I am following up about a letter I wrote to you in March about what I was hoping to gain by putting out ideas and energy in order to obtain my dreams. Just as a reminder, here are some highlights of my hopes and desires.

Career

• I wanted a job in education policy where I can influence policy. I need the job before April 2011. Since our last correspondence, I have been working hard by going to networking events, applying to multiple jobs online every day. My job of looking for a job is a full time job. BUT, I have been hired as an intern with the National PTA. While I am not being paid for the position, I am grateful for the opportunity and have learned so much from wonderful mentors. I have also had the opportunity to make wages substitute teaching 2-4 year olds. This has been a huge highlight for me, and I love those kids!
  
• I would like real interviews. Since the letter, I have had at least 12 interviews. I am grateful for each one of them and thank God in heaven for this and all other opportunities and blessings.
  

Marital

• I want to be married to a man who respects and loves me, but who loves the Lord...and someone I also love and respect. Ideally within the year of 29. I have come to realize that dating is all about perspective. I am confident this request will be realized. I am not too worried.
  

Regardless, I would like to learn and grow through joyous experiences. Please help me see that this process is joyous and not excruciating the way it sometimes feels. Help me create this new life and develop an understanding of timing and patience. BUT please help me to not be destitute in the process.

With Hope,

Lindsey

Sign on my face

Some guy friends of mine, who are single, told me that I must have a sign that says 'I am not dating you unless you commit to me now' on my face.

Hello friends.....when were any of you going to tell me that? I implore, that if I have something stuck in my teeth, please tell me. If I have a sign that says 'Marry me NOW,' somewhere on my face, please tell me!

Seriously though, I couldn't help but laugh at this comment from my friend, who shall remain nameless. Really.

I actually tend to think that my sign says something totally different like 'I am a nice, confident, totally hot, spiritual, friendly, and a totally amazing person. If you get to know me, you will have a lot of fun. If you decide you want to like me more than a friend, I will go with the flow and enjoy the journey.' Maybe boys just read the sign wrong.

This is basic Mars and Venus stuff. If you take me out on one date and we have an extraordinarily good time, then that is great. It was one date, and no, I have not chosen our baby names. However, if you take me out for months at a time having extraordinarily good times, exchange a couple affectionate moments, I may expect that we would want to have these good times more frequently and most importantly only with one another. No, this does not necessarily mean marriage.

Slow the train down folks and enjoy the journey of being able to date. Dating is good. Dating is great. Chant this with me: I like dating. Dating is good. I shouldn't make dating harder than it has to be. I like boys and boys like me.

I joke now, but before 2009, it wasn't so funny. I used to hate dating. There was always so much pressure to 'pass the interview,' and wonder 'did I make the EC (eternal companion) cut?' Oh, how silly. I still might not be an expert, as I am currently single....but I have to say, dating is so much more fun when I am not worrying so much about it.

So I will go around with a sign on my face that reads 'I will make you feel like the most important person ever when you take me out on a date and will have a good time in the process'.

DONE

I wash my hands of being the 'option'. "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option" ~ Mark Twain

I'm sorry, but...

Doesn't it seem like when someone is apologizing that it should be just that...an apology? It seems that if the apology is TRULY genuine that someone will just say "I'm sorry." Even if the reason why they were late was due to circumstances beyond their control, apology with REASON really isn't an apology, right? Apologies are frequently followed up by reasons, which by today's standards, have become excuses. "Honey, I am sorry that I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, but I...," "I'm sorry I am late, but I got a flat tire." While the circumstances may not have been avoidable, the point is that an apology wants for no excuse. It should be what it is. An apology.

Onto a whole other point completely, I can't help but think of what crosses my mind every time I get excited about an assignment. That's right....I just get so excited that I give up other things in my life. Some people think this is abnormal of me...that I would rather study and do an assignment rather than go on a trip. Tripping is fun and exciting that is for sure! I am not at all diminishing the validity and funness of a great trip (I just made funness a word). No, no...I am just merely pointing out that I take a lot of pleasure in collecting data surrounding the implications and changes of educational policy.

As a matter of controversy, sometimes I just CAN'T help but think, "I'm sorry I want to go out with you, but I would rather be studying" ;)

Relationships and the Economy

It's funny how everything seems healing when you are searching for things that can heal, especially after experiencing disappointed hopes. I was reading Naked Economics by Charles Wheelan, as part of my assignment for my Governance and Economics class. I not only LOVE this book for its insight into the science of governance and the economy, but also for the little bits of healing I have found and somehow managed to thwart into my own little category of 'failed relationship science and application.' Here is what I learned:

Lesson 1: When discussing financial markets, Wheelan gives an example of being at the grocery store and determining which line is shorter and therefore would be quicker to get through. He determines that, "It's the things you can't predict that matter" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 130). This spurred in me an ah-hah moment especially in relationships and life in general. How BORING would it be if life was predictable...if every relationship went the way I wanted? Predictability lacks excitement.

Lesson 2: Again, referring to the grocery store analogy, Wheelan suggests to "pick a line and stand in it" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 130). I kinda laughed because at this point, I am just waiting for someone to pick my line....and if my assets are "priced efficiently" everyone is better off in the long-run.

Lesson 3: I LOVED this, especially when I thwarted it with my theory. "Human beings make flawed decisions. We are prone to herdlike behavior, we have too much confidence in our own abilities, we place too much weight on past trends when predicting the future, and so on" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 131). How many times have I heard that one or two or even three relationships haven't worked out because so much of it was based on fear? There are a lot of us single people out there who have experienced some tragic (and I am actually being serious, not facetious) relationships. We are on guard, we take time to trust other people, and sometimes what has happened in the past effects current and even potential relationships we can have with other people. Oh, if only we could have confidence that things were going to work out. I think a lot of people lack the faith that it will work out and allow the fear to take over.

Lesson 4: In any economic circumstance, besides saving, investing, diversifying, etc, it is important to take a risk every once in a while. Wheelan stated, "Risk is rewarded-if you have tolerance for it" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 134). Hmm, makes me think that maybe taking risks for a long-term relationship will be a good thing.

Lesson 5: "The odds are stacked in your favor if you are patient and willing to endure the occasional setback" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 135). No explanation needed.

Lesson 6: "Indeed, if we all believe that the economy is likely to get worse, then it will get worse. And if we all believe it will get better, then it will get better" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 157). Just like relationships, if we think they will get worse, then they will. But if we have hope in them and think they will get better, they will.

Lesson 7: "Recession may actually be good for long-term growth because they purge the economy of less productive ventures" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 158). This made me think that failed relationships may actually be good for long-term growth because they purge me of those relationships that could be potentially hazardous for my soul....I am being a little sarcastic, but you catch my drift.

So, all in all, I would have to say that relationships are much like the economy... unpredictable, didactic, exciting, lesson-learning and something to look forward to in the future. And that, ladies and gentleman, is a GREAT study day!

EPA Puts Good Single Men on Endangered Species List

Pray for the Singles

My friend said she just got this flier (flyer??) on her car. Not a bad idea if I should say so myself. My mom said she gave up praying for single people a long time ago...I had to tell her to keep doing it...we obviously need help ;)

On the Same Page-page

Remember the movie, What Women Want? Knowing what other people think...what an interesting concept. Don't get me wrong, half of the mystery and intrigue of dating is not knowing what the other person is thinking, right? That is what makes it fun, challenging and adventurous. And I certainly realize that as a couple grows together, they learn and develop a communication that works for them. Ah...communication. Remember how our youth are learning how to communicate via text...that is a whole other issue. What I am talking about right now is communication for the here and now. I am talking about the absolute elimination of the DTR (define the relationship).

Often in a relationship with a boy ;) I get overanxious and nervous at the get-go wondering...how slow do I take it, I want them to know I am interested in them, but if I give away the farm...the mystery and intrigue is gone and they don't want a part in it, even if they say they don't like the 'game' they are lying because boys like the chase...tis the way of man, so he chases me, but how far and how long? do you like me check yes, no, maybe....all that jazz. (Wow, now you people have seen into my mind...a very scary place to be)!

So, to make the transition of dating easier for us people and instead of communicating, because obviously people don't like that as much as they say they do, I thought I would create a web page call the "On the Same Page" page. Instead of having a DTR (define the relationship), people could just belong to this site that gives them several options of 'where they are' in a relationship. It would have various check-box items that any couple can use to communicate which page they are on. This avoids the whole 'learning how to communicate about the relationship before I realize I want a relationship' phase. These check boxes would include some of the following ideas/status-indicators:

1. Just want to get some action
2. Looking for someone to have a good time with
3. Want commitment, but not until I date you for 3 months
4. Can meet family whenever, cause it doesn't create pressure
5. Don't want to meet family until we are engaged
6. Don't want you to chip in for dinners, I want to take care of it
7. Don't want to be invited to your shindigs until after we are boyfriend and girlfriend as to avoid the awkward 'how long have you been dating?' question
8. Looking for a girlfriend who will commit and not ask questions like 'where are we going' every two weeks
9. Looking for a marital companion, but not to be married until I say so
10. Looking to get married, but do not want to rush a good thing

You know, it would be just SO much easier this way. But in the words of Ryan Reynolds in the new movie The Proposal, "Yes that would be easier." If you haven't seen the movie, you will not get what I am saying. In the meantime, I found a great song, (kudos to Thad Hall for showing me that I am not the only one that needs to be on the same page), I'd Really Love to See You, by the one and only England Dan and John Ford Coley.

Hello
Yeah, it's been a while
Not much, how about you
I'm not sure why I called
I guess I really just wanted to talk to you

And I was thinkin' maybe later on
We could get together for a while
It's been such a long time
And I really do miss your smile

I'm not talking about movin' in
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm wind blowin' the stars around
And I'd really love to see you tonight

We could go walkin' through a windy park
Take a drive along the beach
Or stay at home and watch TV
You see it really doesn't matter much to me

I'm not talking about movin' in
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm wind blowin' the stars around
And I'd really love to see you tonight

I won't ask for promises
So you don't have to lie
We've both played that game before
Say I love you then say goodbye

I'm not talking about movin' in
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm wind blowin' the stars around
And I'd really love to see you tonight

I'm not talking about movin' in
And I don't want to change your life
But there's a warm wind blowin' the stars around
And I'd really love to see you tonight

Illusion of Control

I take my thoughts from a book I am reading for class called Policy and Evidence in a Partisan Age by Paul Gary Wyckoff.

If you had a chance to read my last post, you may have realized that there are certain things in life that happen, where I learn certain things. Sometimes, I forget the little life's lessons and am reminded of them later. For some reason, I can't seem to hang on to certain little lessons I learn, and in turn realize that I have been wasting my time learning the same things I already know or knew. What happens is that the little lesson learned happened in one circumstance at one point in time. When an entirely new circumstance happens, for some reason I tend to forget that there are some pretty core principles that I learned during the last life lesson that can most certainly be applied despite the new circumstance.

The little lesson I am referring to is this: Control. I am in control of making decisions in my life. However, I am not in control of the decisions other people make in this life. I also feel that despite the fact that I am in control of making decisions, that ultimately, God knows all and gives me the opportunity to realize that if I want to be happy, that I need to recognize that He makes and keeps His promises. One thing to keep in mind while reading the rest of this post is that I know I am not a pawn in some cosmic-universal game. I am not a puppet to be controlled by God. No, I am here to choose. With every choice comes a consequence, no matter if the consequence is deemed as 'positive' or 'negative.'

In the book I attributed earlier, it states, "Psychologists have demonstrated that humans engage in an 'illusion' of control' rather than admit the cold truth when nothing can be done." Such is the life of decisions we make not just in policy and government, but also in relationships. That no matter what, there are other parties and variables in place that once you look, you realize how little control you really do have because there are so many 'actors' involved in the situation. The book talks about the patent medicine stage, when medical marvels were discovered as treatments for the common cold, bronchitis, jaundice, constipation, fatigue and even cancer. It reminds me of the "doctor" in Pete's Dragon who was so keen on selling medicine for the common cold that he claimed it relieved the cold in 2 weeks time. The conclusion this author draws on relates to systems in the government such as welfare, but makes these keen observations about theories and treatments that people believe in. The first, I described earlier...that people want to find relief for their afflictions. The second is that people don't know any better, and don't "have the tools for sorting out conflicting claims."

I would have to say that this statement is pretty pertinent to what I am experiencing right now. The problem is that half of the tools are revealed to me in regards to what I need to do in the meantime...and it seems to me that experience may be the only way for me to gain all the necessary tools to sort out this conflict that so avails me.

In my institute class, we are discussing Revelation Chapter 2. During these versus, it is pointed out that the people are turning to Balaam....the man who fooled himself into thinking that he controlled the ways of God. Our teacher made reference to a dream Balaam had of a man arguing with a donkey. The donkey in this context represented Balaam...a stubborn, dumb animal also known as an ass.

It is time for me to remember the tools I have been given to find happiness instead of trying to control where that happiness is coming from. I must first be happy in the Lord, who is #1 in my life...and not #2. When I put Him #1 happiness comes because of that relationship. Time to throw out this ideological sense that I am in complete control...because I'm not. So, I leave you with these thoughts and a half-full tool belt on my waist...because I have a feeling I don't have all the tools yet.

Things I forgot

There are many things that I often forget and constantly need to remind myself of. I find that writing them down helps me remember. This past week I forgot:

• Having long hair can sometimes be a pain. I was walking through my carpeted living room the other day, long hair catching itself between my toes. Last year I purchased "The Magic Broom" made of plastic thistles that is supposed to magically get all the hair out of the carpet, creating a space where hair doesn't manage to sneak in between toes. Alas, even after having magic-broomed and vacuumed the area, I still find hairs between my toes. Looks like I will be wearing socks for a while.
• My body is capable of great things.....but not others. No matter how hard I try to remind myself, I always tend to forget that my body hates running. It screams murder to its joints and cramps. It really prefers elliptical, biking, swimming, hiking, snowshoeing, anything but running.
• Preparing for things pays off. I always forget that when I prepare myself for any situation, that I am better off. I loved that I read all my homework and read my syllab(i) prior to class this past week. I felt like I was ahead of the curve and felt confident that I would do well this year. Perhaps I should do my homework in advance this semester too.
• Let it roll. I keep forgetting that just because I have gone out on more than 7 dates with someone, it doesn't mean that I am automatically a 'girlfriend.' Something I constantly forget, I have to remind myself that just because I am ready for the next step, doesn't often guarantee that someone else is. In any relationship....
• Even 20 minutes of exercise a day can change a life. It is true. 20 minutes of cardio and weight lifting really gives me the strength to carry out certain tasks. I find that I am not as tired, I look better in my clothes, which is great for confidence and I wonder why I don't just dedicate that much time to exercise every day.
• It is always good to hear from people I haven't heard from in a while. Really, I love it. Even if it means catching up after 10 years...I cherish those moments. Why don't I do it more?
• Just because you put on your signal while driving, doesn't guarantee that people will let you in. Period.
• It is always better to be 10 minutes early than 10 minutes late. Maybe a little excessive, but my family and I would always arrive to the airport 1 hour earlier than the 1 hour allotted, meaning, we would be at the airport 2 hours before our flight left. I found that it wasn't just the airport that we would arrive early to. Church, school, meetings, movies, plays, etc., are all great examples of events that we would arrive early to. I am glad my dad instilled in me a certain sense of 'flat tire' time, otherwise I wouldn't have made it to class on time the day there was a ton of construction and everything was down to one lane on the first day of school.
• People watching rocks. I sometimes get so caught up in what I have to do that I rarely people watch. This week was different. I took time to see: 1. An old man totally jamming to his rock-n-roll in his yellow slugbug, he was seriously like 70 years old. 2. This older gentleman falling off his chair and 10 people went to help him up....made me cry...there is good in this world. 3. Someone helping a child 4. A cute couple on their first date
  
• Sometimes when solidifying meeting appointments, it is good to go over all the details one more time. Something I always seem to forget is that people are not in my brain. They can't read my mind all the time...or if at all. It is very important when talking about meeting someone that you hash out the details, even if they were said earlier in the conversation...just to be safe.

Well, now that I have written it down, it should work, right? Let's see if I can remember these few things...wish me luck.

Bless-ed is this life

The title of my post is taken from Brett Dennen, my favorite summertime musician. I really am the luckiest girl. Putting my worries on the shelf for the summertime seemed appropriate so that I could enjoy what life has to offer. Instead of listing all the details, why don't I just show you some of my fave summer memories...so far. I know you all are suckers for pictures anyway....

Picture 1: This is Becky and me biking up in Littledale (East Canyon on the way to Park City). I have taken up mountain biking and LOVE it. I am not excited for my first fall, but know it will happen...c'est la vie.

Picture 2: Jason and me in Lake Powell. I went with 5 other girls and one other boy. Highlights: spending the night in the Wal-mart parking lot, eating at Denny's the next morning, battling 8-foot swells due to the wind, hanging with really great people, getting pulled over by the boat sheriff, tubing, dutch-oven dinners, grilling steak, reading a book in my tent, sand blowing in everything (I am still finding it every where), midnight cruises on the lake lit by the full moon.

Picture 3: One more Powell pic, just for fun. This is Nate, Michelle, Me and Jason. The water in this pic is far from serene. We had to put towels over us to keep from the water splashing in the boat. It was incredibly windy, but the next day...of course...the water was pure glass.




Picture 4: I went to Moab with my ward. We hiked, biked, camped and later, I took off with friends to go river rafting. I felt invincible and very hard core. Highlights: seeing so many amazing natural arches, flipping over in the raft, making life-long survival friends and yelling 'survivors' every 3 seconds on the rest of the way down the Colorado River, jamming to tunes until lights out at the campground, biking up slick rock, my friend Darnell's bike broke: but we had Jimmy the incredible fix-it man with us to save the day, sleeping on a queen size air mattress, showering at the campground where everyone made fun of me...hey, if there is a shower at the camping site, you bet I am going to use it!

Picture 5: Kelly, Darnell and me setting up our tent.

The memories continue: Catching up with all the wardies on their lives, getting a tour of this really nice hotel from a 9-year old (Grace), finding my way from out under the raft after it capsized, rescuing our people, winning the splash battles just by calling it first, getting a Moab t-shirt, making it up really hard hills without falling off my bike :)...the list goes on and on.

Picture 6: Julie, Kerrie, Me, Darnell and Kelly...the survivors.







Picture 7: Me, Katie, Nate, Alma, Sherri, Shannon, Dan (on the bottom row), Jared, Kim. Demolition Derbies...need I say more!!





Picture 8: Tedi, Wyatt, Stephanie, Brandon and me at the Bees game. I don't remember who won...hee hee, but I do remember charging the field to see fireworks...and fireworks THEY WERE!






Picture 9: Alma and I at the Bee Gees tribute. When mom, dad and Bryan came to town, we all went to look at houses for fun in Daybreak during their garage sale days. A radio station was doing a remote at one of the model homes. Needless to say, my dad won tickets to the Bee Gees tribute concert and gave them to me. Thanks dad!

So, I think that sums up my summer with more adventures to come...I don't have pics of my class, or my two jobs (consulting and research assisting), but I do that as well. In fact, I had to tell my dad that really, I am working...I just know how to play hard too, that's all.

Moving Mountains

Most of you know how much of a teeny bopper movie fan I am. I even started getting into Disney flicks like Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana. I think Brendon was the only one I told about my fascination with Hannah. With all the interesting publicity surrounding Miley...I can't help but think that this wonderful chick has overcome a lot and come FAR!

One day, I was chatting with my roomy about life. She played this song for me...which still makes me tear up every time. It reminds me so much of myself...it is quite incredible.



The Climb Lyrics
Songwriters: Alexander, J., Mabe, J
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Whoever Alexander, J and Mabe, J are...THANK YOU for such an inspirational song. You have captured the essence of what every person struggles with at least 10 times in their life. Sometimes it is hard for me to remember to enjoy the journey instead of freaking out about how in the world I am going to get to my destination, or what that destination looks like. That has always been tricky for me. I want so much to be on the other side of the mountain that I forget to enjoy the climb. Miley, for all the criticism that you get girl, you are rockin it! I am sincerely touched.

Little lessons learned

You haven't heard from me because I am working on the design for my major research paper that is due at the end of my two-year masters extravaganza. Despite the fact that I have been completely relishing in the theory I am proving/disproving/exploring, I have found out some pretty interesting things about myself.

1. I like to plan. I already knew this about myself...but I never knew why it was such a big deal. I have been reading some pretty interesting research about motivation lately. Intended specifically for what I am trying to define in my studies, I found it very useful when defining myself.

In a research paper, Motivation When Optimism Declines: Data on Temporal Dynamics, by Wicker et al., I found this very interesting: "People set goals to maximize probabilities of success, and chances of felt success may be greater if goal levels are lowered whenever likelihoods of success appear lower." Very interesting...I can relate to this. I like to plan to MAXIMIZE success.

But, I think one thing I discovered about my fanatic 'planning' is taken from Dr. Gary Chapman's book: The Five Love Languages.

One of the five love languages is quality time. Here is what the book says about it:

"Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future.

Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together in a tennis league, quality time is a love language that is shared by many. Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage."

What I realized about myself is I LOVE focused time. Focused time is quality time. This is why I plan...to make the most out of my time that I can. Does it mean that I can't be spontaneous? No, certainly not....but it means that I have ability to focus my attention on things without distraction! I love not being distracted, so I can more fully appreciate and focus my attention on those I love, or the activities that I love.

2. I hate failing. I always knew this about myself too. BUT not to the extent that I have experienced lately. I am dating. Yes, I am. It is new, fun, adventurous and totally stressful. This time, I realized that my dumb insecurities of failure are what generally keep me from progressing. I blame my education ;)

In the article, Hypocrisy in College Grading Yields a Flood of Mediocrity by Judith Schlesinger that talks about student motivation decline and increase depending on the 'mood' of the student. She mentions two dismaying realities about education now including "... a generation of students taught to believe that self-esteem is more important than real achievement."

My dad and I had a conversation once about entitlement. I can't remember the situation, but I remember telling my dad about how I felt in the workplace. Not out of inconsideration for my feelings, but to make a point, my dad said, "Lindsey, if you are expecting people to pat you on the back the whole time because you did your job, you are going to be thoroughly disappointed. You have to learn to fail, and fail well."

Even though his opinion in this matter could have been misconstrued as 'mean', he had a point. Our world has a huge sense of entitlement that prevents us from progressing. I think this in part has to do with our unwillingness to fail.

(On a tangent...this is also true of communications skills. We have not been taught how to work through problems. When in a relationship, the biggest 'out' for couples is when they don't know how to effectively communicate and work through their problems. I see this a lot with people dating and have noticed it in myself as well. Learning to communicate and realizing that setting unreal expectations prevents growth. Setting goals is part of growth, but unreal goals....hinders.)

Schlesinger had a very poignant theory (in talking about students): "With so little experience at surviving failure, they come to dread it."

This is also part of the article:

"In fact, Miles [researcher mentioned earlier in article] blames the lack of failure experience for the decline in curiosity, which he defines as "the willingness to learn despite the risk of embarrassment.

In the feel-good model that has dominated American education for the past 30 years, all efforts were equally worthy, and grading was either meaningless or eliminated altogether. This stunted students' ability to differentiate quality from sham, making them more vulnerable to every shiny come-on the world can throw at them.

And learners protected from honest judgment never learn to, as Miles says, 'recognize, accept, understand and learn from mistakes," critical abilities in our fast-changing world.'

Afraid to stretch and dare, many become passive and bored, doing just enough to get by and wheedling through when they haven't."

Lately, I realized that I fit into this mold a little bit. I hate failing because I don't know how to fail well.

I have had to break free of this mentality that I 'deserve' certain things. I am not saying that I don't have goals, and I know that I have to break free of unreasonable expectations. I have to learn how to fail well and pull back up again, learning from my failures and realizing that growth happens when we take our failures and turn them into something positive. I know I will probably have to work on this a little bit... it is not going to come easily for me ;)

Who knew that researching for my major research paper could be so AWESOME. These are some great insights....! I love school!

Boys...how to get girls. Advice from a 9 year old!

Ok...thanks April for sending me this video. Oh my goodness, I just want to squeeze this little guy. I have a little crush on him! Oh, his interview just made me giggle at the little truths about dating. Boys, get out your notebooks. This is coming from one of your peeps. Enjoy!

Stinky Cologne

Someone once told me the quote "desperation is a stinky cologne." I remember laughing. Well, now it doesn't seem so funny. Here is my situation: I need (maybe not need so much as want) a date to my annual work Christmas party AND my normal 'work-party dates' are currently attached to other things this holiday season.

In the meantime I have come up with several solutions to this dilemma:

• Change the setting on facebook to say "Lindsey is looking for a date for her work party. Should you be interested, please send her an email via facebook. First come first serve."
• Establish a non-committal dating group where people can go online and find date to their next work party. I imagine the ad for this space would be something like: "Tired of going to work parties alone? Don't want a girl/guy to think that you are in love with her/him because you asked her/him to go to your work party? Well, here is the group for you....to all you people who just want a fun date to take to your work party with no future attachments, here is the website for you"....something like that. Maybe this is why I don't develop copy for promos at work...
  
• Ask a random guy at church.
• Finally out that I have a crush on *Bill, and invite him to come with me. Forward-schmorward.
• Write a book called, How to find the arm guy: Finding a man that looks good on your arm for work parties, who won't embarrass you, who will have a good time and who will be available any time you have any other kind of event that you need him for.
• Fly someone here from another city.
• Send out a mass email to friends and family looking for the ultimate set up (oh wait, I did that already!)
• Go alone.
• Go with a girlfriend.

Any thoughts?

*Names have been changed for identity protection and future embarrassment of both parties.

Eyebrow maintenance

On lunch break...blog time!

I remember when I first moved to SLC after I graduated from Utah State, I went to a Valentine's Day dance. People from all over SLC and Provo went down south, dressed up all fancy schmancy and met up to celebrate being single on Valentine's Day aka Single's Awareness Day. I remember talking to one gentleman, let's call him Bernard, who talked to me for at least 45 minutes. We totally hit it off and danced a good 15 times. Well, by the end of the night, Bernard scored my number and ended up calling me to ask me out for the next Thursday evening. I was ecstatic.

Bernard was fantastic. He was so intriguing to me and I loved listening to him tell me stories of all these place he had gone. We talked on the phone for hours even before he came up to Salt Lake to take me out. Well, Thursday came around and he took me to a Thai restaurant. The conversation was great. He chatted and chatted, and I would interject with, "No way," "You are kidding," "Oh, that is awesome." I would ask questions and truly engaged myself in what he was saying. Bernard was non-stop talk....and I loved it, because I remember how sometimes I was (am) non-stop talk, so it was good to be on the listening end ;) At the end of the date, we went back to my place and people came over to watch our show at the time, Alias. I always had Alias parties and I informed my date that we were having one, just in random conversation, and he said he loved that show, so we included that as part of the date.

After all was said and done, my friends came over, we watched the show and talked for hours afterward. We laughed and laughed and had a great time. Bernard seemed to get along swimmingly with the rest of the crowd and really looked like he was having a good time. He had to leave early, so I said goodbye, letting him know I had a good time and would like to get together again. He shared the same sentiment and left smiling.

So, what does this have to do with eyebrows...oh, allow me to continue. So, being the girly girl that I am, I waited to hear from Bernard...and mid-way through the next week thought..."Oh dear, he doesn't like me. He hasn't called. What happened? It was a fantastic date....what's the deal?" You know, girly stuff like that.

After two weeks, I had HAD it. Being brave...and sometimes outspokenly stupid, I emailed him. I forgot to mention that we emailed back and forth as well as chatted on the phone prior to the date. So, I emailed him something flirty and asking him to rate the date. That's right...rate the date. I just thought it would be a fun way we could flirt.

Well, apparently, I opened a can. Bernard wrote me a 6-page letter on the date. There were many things complimented, including how I looked, my demeanor, spirit, intellect, etc. I smiled whilst I read the detail. Then he got to the other stuff like how he really didn't know anything about me because I did not confide in him, not to mention the fact that the conversation with my friends reminded him of a high school English class or a hair salon. I was shocked. I had the exact opposite experience, but hey, I asked him to rate the date, so I kept reading. The very last line of his email was: "Besides those other things, I really had an enjoyable time. My sister's would kill me if they knew I was going to say this, but I think you would be more attractive if only you would trim your eyebrows a little better. They were a little out of control."

That's right...eyebrows! I kept the email and have it on file as one of the most ridiculously funny things I have ever had written to me or about me in my life. I chuckle at this whole incident....I am sure you are wondering whatever happened to Bernard, but that is not the point. The point is eyebrows, of which I have a bush full.

As a matter of fact, I have maintained my eyebrows since my freshman year of college, and have since started going to get my eyebrows done by professionals, who know a lot more about them than I do. I never would have thought to get them done, until one day, I looked in the mirror and you couldn't tell if that patch of black was really part of my hair, or if it was an eyebrow extension. So, sometimes when we have time to spare on our trips, Rachel (my boss) and I go to the salon and I get my eyebrows waxed and she gets her nails done.

Rachel had a wax party at her house the other day, where I also had a chance to learn all about my eyebrows. Well, apparently, the last person who waxed my eyebrows decided to take more off than is generally recommended. I didn't know this, but if you hold a pencil to your nose and follow it up the line of your face, your eyebrows should begin where the pencil lands. I know that doesn't make sense, but hold the pencil next to your nose in a straight line. Allow your nostril to hit the edge of the pencil. Hold it vertical. See your eyebrows? Yeah, your eyebrows should begin where the pencil is hitting near your brow bone. Make sense yet? Well, if it doesn't, I apologize...

I just want to warn everyone, I am very aware of my eyebrows right now because I have been asked by my eyebrowist to grow them out so she can shape them the true way that will make my eyes POP a little more. I can't help but feel like a bush...not only that, but it takes me back to a time in my life where eyebrows really kept me from having a relationship ;) ha ha...totally kidding, but REALLY, how much brow is too much brow?

I am leaving on vacation in a week and I wonder if I should just shoddily maintain the brows I do have, just for the time being...instead of looking like I have never maintained them at all. Sure, I know you are all thinking this is ridiculous and why should it matter what people think....well, APPARENTLY it matters a lot ;) Ha ha.

I love my brows and apologize to anyone who thinks that I may not maintain them to their standard. I will probably still have the uni-brow waxed just for my own satisfaction...but other then that, I plan on keeping these brows...bulky and all!

So, if you are wondering if Bernard's comment got to me....do I really need to defend myself, really against this accusation and how I responded to it? Nah.

The point is: I am who I am...bushy eyebrows and all.

Etiquette Reminders

I am in one of those moods where I am VERY aware of things that bug or annoy! Sure, I choose to react this way...I could blame it on the fact I have not had enough sleep, or that woman thing, or the demands of job, dating, social, family, life....but I won't. I won't blame it on anyone but myself...I am choosing to look at things that bug! I will also switch from using the word 'people' to 'you,' something of which is a grammar faux pas...but for the purpose of this blog, forget grammar. I am very aware I am writing it this way.

1. Airport Bus Etiquette 101: When traveling on the airport bus, people should put all their luggage in the proper stalls, then find a place to sit (if there is a place). People should not stand blocking the place for luggage, especially if there are other places on the bus that they could be standing. That way, when some of us come on lugging all our exposition equipment - that needs to be checked, is falling of our arms and heavier than two toddlers - we have a place to store what is so obviously wearing us down. Some may not notice the shortness of breath and/or heavy breathing from lugging all that stuff from the car. Why take that much stuff in the first place....well, that is another story, but there are certainly circumstances that have made it this way for some people. Why place blame? The fact is, move over people and have the courtesy also to give up your seat for elderly people!!

2. Pedestrian Crossing 101: When waiting for a pedestrian to cross in the cross walk, it is only polite...and also very safe, to actually wait until the pedestrian is ALL the way across the street. The pedestrian really isn't trying to make you late to work...or purposly taking their merry time to cross. This rule especially applies to when children are crossing the street with a volunteer crossing guard. The stop sign should be enough signal to really STOP for those crossing the street. People should not try to a. beat the pedestrians thinking, "Oh, they are taking their time, I can make it" b. Notice that really the pedestrians are far enough away that they really could make the turn without hitting them....Heaven forbid if the pedestrians lose their shoe and have to go back for it c. Think they are just way too good for the stop sign. Sorry people...doesn't work.

3. Texting etiquette 101: I hate it....enough said. If a person has an important communication...call! It prevents miscommunication and is OH so very personal :) I'm sure the person on the receiving end loves hearing your voice anyway. Also, people should not text while driving. I am guilty sure, and have since repented,...but let's really think about this one! There was a 16 year old girl who was killed last year because someone was texting while driving. There is now a whole campaign dedicated to creating awareness that texting while driving is not safe.

4. Teflon etiquette 101: When using a teflon pot or pan, remember not to use metal objects to cut, stir or poke the ingredients that are being cooked. It scratches the teflon and I am sure there is some kind of safety risk in eating teflon chips in food. I will get back to you on that one.

5. Birthday Calls 101: It is always OK to call and wish someone Happy Birthday, even if you happened to miss it! The fact you remembered it was even in the same month, is still an amazing feet...and sometimes people like to celebrate their birthdays all month long. The truth is, people like being remembered!

6. Child Airplane Etiquette: When traveling with a small child on an airplane, do not hush them for asking you questions in a loud voice. Let them be excited to be on an airplane. Other passengers on the airplane should also remember that children will be children. If you have a hard time falling asleep because of a crying baby, let that be a lesson to you that next time you should bring earplugs. Don't hate the parents or the crying baby. You never know if babies are teething, have ear infections or hate the airplane's loud noise. Passengers should be patient!

7. Dating Etiquette 101: When going out on a date, it is appropriate to call a person at least one-day in advance to follow-up about what time you are picking your date up, and maybe some helpful hints on what dress would be appropriate. Will the date be outside? Well, that would require a sweater (if it is cold outside). Will the date be eating some exotic food? Well, that may require some medicine to prevent tummy-fate. Will the date begin at 6:30? Well, that would mean that all of the after-work errands need to be completed in order to have enough time to get ready...etc, etc. Will the date be a movie? Well, that would require that I wear shoes, not flip-flops, because my feet sweat during movies. You get the point.

What about October?

My weekends have been super busy these last couple weeks...and will be for a while! I just have to keep telling all those boys that want to go out with me that they just have to wait. True story...one young man-an awesome catch- called and said he wanted to play. Poor little thing, I want so much to oblige, but had to say, "Oh dear, I can't this weekend, but what about October?" It's true. Don't worry sweetheart, it isn't because I am playing hard to get, I promise....

I flew out of SLC on Friday and arrived in Oklahoma City for the Down Syndrome Association of Central Oklahoma Buddy Walk, where my boss gave a quick presentation and scored (should I brag?) some pretty awesome interviews while she was there. I posted all those interviews on our Signing Time blog, which I author most of the time. Anyway, I had a pretty 'righteous' time. (I am bringing that word back).

First, we were upgraded to a pretty remarkable room and decided that we were princesses. Well, I decided that we were. It was pretty nice. I highly recommend becoming some kind of gold card member. I need to look into that. The next morning, Rachel did a phenomenal job during her interview on Channel 9. I was able to meet the family that I had been working with long distance, the Klehm's, who have two cute daughter's, one of whom has Down syndrome. Rebecca (momma Klehm) did awesome during the interview too.

We then grabbed a quick bite and headed over to the Buddy Walk. It was HUGE. I was so completely impressed with the event. We didn't have any glitches. The preparation was flawless, and I couldn't have worked with better people! Rachel's performance was AWESOME! We had participation like crazy. It was cool to see how many children were using their signs and knew the songs by heart. We even had some proud dad's that were asked to help sing the Silly Pizza Song. After the performance, we hung around the Buddy Walk and chatted with other families about their experience using Signing Time with their children who have Down syndrome. We heard some pretty remarkable stories. Then, we hopped on a plane and got home at about 11 p.m.

The next day, I attended my Aunt Cindy's wedding. She was married to Tom in the Greek Orthodox church on Highland. It was beautiful. The whole wedding was incredible. I don't remember the name of the priest, but his voice was beautiful as he sang the marital chants. It was so cool to see and hear the ceremony, as I have never attended a Greek Orthodox religious ceremony. I loved it. It was so cool to see that the whole family was there too. After the ceremony, we boogied it up at the reception. We thought it would be pretty funny to take pictures with Cindy and Tom behind us. Turned out pretty good...

It was fun to relive past memories: like the time that I was my Aunt Cindy's flower girl at her first wedding. She put all my hair up in a braid that acted as a crown on top of my head and then filled it up with baby's breath. As the story goes, my cousin Chris called me a 'shrubbery.' Apparently, I was so angry, that I ended up chucking the flowers in the aisles at people with much force and trepidation. I only recall that my outfit was itchy and we covered all the itchy spots with band-aids, I got to ride in a limo, I wore a ton of band-aids on my heels too because the shoes hurt, I wasn't sure how far or hard to throw the flowers while I walked down the aisle, and my parents forced me to dance with Chris at the reception. BLECH, I hated boys. So, Chris and I re-created that moment with the photographer, just for Cindy.

I was able to show off my Greek dancing skills with my sister and some of the Burton clan. It was fun to be part of a tradition that leaves me exhausted and with a consti-smile. I loved it! After the reception, we went over to my Aunt Kellee and Uncle Mike's house and played Shein Hei...another family tradition full of laughter, fighting, bickering...and non-violent (I use that word loosely) competition. It was fun to see that nothing had really changed. Steve will always pick on Eva, Rick will always take the cards without permission, Diane will always say, "Oh, I wanted that card," my mom will always say, "Wait, what is that?" Jamie will always lay out the cards she wasn't able to lay down after someone had won....ah, the memories. My mom and I were able to play all night, chatting it up like little chipmunks...I miss having her around all the time. It is always good to see her.

Ok, so this next weekend, I am in Salem, OR and Denver, CO...so boys, I'm sorry, but maybe October would be better for me....love ya!