I'm sorry, but...

Doesn't it seem like when someone is apologizing that it should be just that...an apology? It seems that if the apology is TRULY genuine that someone will just say "I'm sorry." Even if the reason why they were late was due to circumstances beyond their control, apology with REASON really isn't an apology, right? Apologies are frequently followed up by reasons, which by today's standards, have become excuses. "Honey, I am sorry that I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, but I...," "I'm sorry I am late, but I got a flat tire." While the circumstances may not have been avoidable, the point is that an apology wants for no excuse. It should be what it is. An apology.

Onto a whole other point completely, I can't help but think of what crosses my mind every time I get excited about an assignment. That's right....I just get so excited that I give up other things in my life. Some people think this is abnormal of me...that I would rather study and do an assignment rather than go on a trip. Tripping is fun and exciting that is for sure! I am not at all diminishing the validity and funness of a great trip (I just made funness a word). No, no...I am just merely pointing out that I take a lot of pleasure in collecting data surrounding the implications and changes of educational policy.

As a matter of controversy, sometimes I just CAN'T help but think, "I'm sorry I want to go out with you, but I would rather be studying" ;)

Repercussions of dropping a class

Since I started college, undergrad and everything, I have never dropped a class. It's true. I always thought if I messed with the system, that something would mess up and all my hopes and dreams post-graduation would come to a halt if I dropped a class, or something else really bad would happen. Imagine my consternation when I attended a class and felt like it didn't fit my needs. I, for the first time ever, had to drop the class. I told the professor that while I adored him, I thought the syllabus didn't meet what I was looking for. I hoped that I didn't offend him in my decision. I thought of all the things that could go wrong because I dropped this class, after having invested some substantial hours in the readings, etc. Little did I know that one repercussion would be running into him and his daughter a little awkwardly during a rainstorm, right after my swim class, preceding my bite of protein bar.

First, my hair was wet from swimming. I figured since it was raining, drying it would be moot. Second, I had to make small chit chat as he joked with me (before noticing it was me) if I had room for him and his daughter under my umbrella (which I did)...the chit chat was a reminder to me that I dropped his awesome class, of which I really could have been interested and wonder if I made the right decision. Third, whilst I shared my umbrella with him and his daughter, I didn't notice the huge piece of faux-chocolate that had rested itself ever so carefully on my bottom lip. Upon noticing the chocolate from my protein bar about 5 minutes after we parted ways, I shrugged my shoulders and laughed.

I can rest assured that at least the repercussion of dropping a class was this little awkward interaction, and not something else drastic.

Songs of Worship?

I have the opportunity to volunteer at the Salt Lake temple in the cafeteria. Every once in a while our kitchen staff sings great melodies and hymns, always inspiring....and for some reason, I end up getting songs like Sunshine of Your Love by Cream, Girl by Beck and Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera stuck in my head. Sacrilegious?

Gum on the Bottom of Shoes

I parked at the Institute building the other day on campus while I ran around distributing fliers for an upcoming 5k I am helping out with. I remember getting back in my car after a 2-hour stint of pinning, taping and running around trying to find out where approved bulletin boards were. Thankfully, I had help and it went a lot faster than I thought.

Upon driving away in my Toyota out of the parking lot, I felt like one of my tires was acting a little wanky. I also observed the klunk klunk klunk sound coming from the front of my car. I surely thought that it was a flat tire, which I have been privy to in many a recent past. I pulled into the median because there was not a shoulder. While it may not have been the safest place, I knew I could at least get out and examine the damage. Upon checking all of my tires, I was bewildered to see that they were all fully inflated. I wasn't really sure what was going on, so I looked a little closer. To my astonishment, my front right tire had a huge "platform" of tar stuck to it. I started laughing. I had never seen anything like it before...ever. I recalled that the parking lot just had its cracks filled ..but the tar was not fresh or anything and couldn't possibly have a disastrous affect on little ole tires, right?

What does one do with tar stuck to their tires? I sure didn't know. Could I have picked it off myself? If not, should I have taken it in to a tire shop? That almost seemed too easy. I decided to drive to a safer location. Upon my drive....it was just too much for me to handle. My steering wheel shook, which made my Relief Society arms shake (made me realize how much I should lift weights), and it felt like my tire was coming off. I didn't get very far until I pulled over to the side of the road and started picking tar off with my ice scraper. But then I had this thought that "one day it will snow, there will be ice on my windows, and I will have forgotten that I used the scraper to get tar off a tire and I would scratch my windows." So, I started using my hands. I didn't get very far before the heat of the day got to me, and I hopped in my car and drove home.

Who would have thought that having tar on a tire is very much like having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe?

Fuzzy Socks

I have a good friend who is about to leave to go to Penn State to become a famous writer. I often told him that he needed to start a blog, not just to post information about himself online, but to practice writing. How great to have a portfolio at your fingertips, and to turn some assignments into some great blog posts. He always said that he wanted a blog, but never really followed through with it. I challenged him to start writing for at least 10 minutes a day. If you recall, my very first blog post talked about Nancy Williams, my public opinion professor at Utah State who encouraged us to write for 10 minutes a day, without an internal editor telling you that your writing had to be amazing. My friend was stuck thinking that if he didn’t have anything ‘good’ to write, then what was the point. The point is to get into the practice of writing without an editor, to create that free-flow of thought with no interruptions. We then compiled a list of things that he should write about. From things as silly as “My first haircut was…” to “If my girlfriend were a vampire,” the list is used as a prompt to get him writing. I decided to take the challenge with him. Periodically, I will post writings based upon this list. And while it may not be the best writing you will ever read, I am still very excited to free-flow….ah, like dancing…but better J *I have edited the contents of my unedited free flow as not to confuse the reader

I have always been one of those people who goes to clothing stores and shops by touch. I am drawn to all things fuzzy, small, frilly, colorful and blingy. While I never really purchase these items, it is like a ‘moth to a flame’ and I can’t help but touch in order to appreciate. I find myself having to hold my hands in back of me, clasping them sometimes white knuckled, when I see a piece of art at a museum that I really want to touch. The thought always goes through my head, “I wonder what would happen if I just reached my hand out, ever so swiftly.” But don’t worry, I don’t ever follow through, but the fact is….it is a recurring thought…and surely fear of disobedience is what prevents me from doing it. Regardless, I love the sense of touch.

I once heard a story of a girl who was born without nerve endings, or something crazy like that. The story goes that the doctor said that she had no ability to touch and feel. WARNING GRAPHIC SCENE APPROACHING: One day she woke up and had gorged out her eyes, leaving her blind. GRAPHIC SCENE OVER. The doctor commented that he would never wish this kind of handicap on anyone. Not having the ability to touch or feel….what a tragedy.

During those games of would you rather’ a familiar question asks to choose between which sense I could do without. After thinking about it for some time, I still don’t have an answer. As much as I am fond of touch, I am also fond of hearing. Music is a huge part of my life. It is quite often that I will be driving to some destination, a song will come on, and for that one moment, life is peaceful, serene, happy. Even if happiness is what I am feeling, the music adds and reverberates beauty, simplicity, memory, hope….I could go on. There is not one day that has passed where I am not touched by music. The same goes with birds in the morning, thunder that follows the lightning, the sound of rain hitting the trees behind my apartment, knowing and distinguishing the sounds of a failed starter versus a failed alternator, little children laughing, different kinds of sneezes, soft spoken words, loudness of a sports stadium, distant and near fireworks, flames, water running….I could go on.

Then there is the sense of smell. As one who had the most sensitive smellers in the world, sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes this is a curse. It is unfortunate that I have ability to decipher from your burp, what you had for lunch. It is also unfortunate that I can smell the occurrence of future rotting potatoes. I once dated a guy who yelled at me for throwing out my milk because I thought it had an expired smell. As much as this is a curse, it is also a blessing. Almost as much as music, I love food! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it. I love trying new things and experiencing new tastes. In addition to this love comes an appreciation for new aromas. Some of my friends who visit my apartment often comment of the smell of the hallway. While they may consider it smelling horrid, I can smell when my sweet neighbors from Lebanon make paella and add that fresh shrimp and chili powder. A touch of basil to roasting peppers, the smell of melting butter, balsamic-glazed steaks marinades, orange and lemon peel potatoes, a touch of this a touch of that…..adds to the symphony of aroma I get to smell. And while I have attributed most of my favorite smelling experiences to food…I can’t forget those other marvelous times where I would wake up in the middle of the night in Sierra Vista and smell the rain coming in. I can’t forget the smell of my sweet little niece’s head after a bath, the smell of that amazing apricot gum, the smell of old spice deodorant, leather jackets, clean bathrooms, cement stairwells, old books, the list goes on. Sure some of these things are hard to imagine loving the smell of, but believe me when I say that without it, I would be lost.

Ah and to taste….well, that goes without saying.

‘Tis the ode to what popped into my head when I had 10 minutes to write about fuzzy socks.

Jane Austen Fight Club

No longer good society. Three cheers for this brilliant masterpiece!

Geek Alert

Yuppers...that's me...big time geek coming through. You can catch me in the front row of the classroom desks. When I am not there, I am doing my usual Utah summer craziness. A little catch up on my life from May-June.
May

• Started my ethics class. I had three different weekends: Fridays from 5-9 and Saturdays from 8-5. While you may be experiencing an "Oh my gosh" moment, I am sad these are over! Really! We discussed things from different definitions of lying, the ethics of journalism when exposing high profile individuals, ethics of bureaucracy and when it is right to defect in order to protect the common good, public integrity, torture tactics, etc. My favorite discussions revolved around this series called "Ethics in America" put on PBS a while ago. check out the young Peter Jennings!
• Denver baby: Love the sis! Jamie and Jordan moved to Denver...and I get to visit them all the time! YAY! My first drive that way, I couldn't help but want to pull over at Little America. Seriously, on my drive there, I saw at least 50 signs asking me too. From ads that talked about their amazing ice cream cones, playground and pool for the kiddies, to the ads about having in-house mechanics. I decided that I would only stop over if the man on the mechanic billboard would fix my car....va va voom! Well, Jamie sure knows how to treat a girl. I was certainly the 2nd princess of the home. Of course, we can't forget Allie-bear. She is #1. Jamie took me to the zoo....a fave past time, and we got to play downtown'ish' with my dear middle-high school friend! What a riot...I loved it. Wanna come again and going to. Thanks Jordan for sharing your wifey!
  
• My birthday! For my birthday, my parents bought me a flight to visit them...I figured nothing is really gonna get better than being with the rents and bro on my birthday. They always show me a good time. Mom had all these activities including sushi like 3 times in a week (amazing), homecooked roast by daddy...if any of you have had it, you know it is the best in the world, a great attempt at pudding delight (which I requested for my b-day cake), walking and hiking with the bro, hanging with my fancy Aunt Kay, a night at Coronado with mama (girls night) and riding 20 miles with our bikes the next day...sheesh. In addition, my good friend Heidi (now living in Salt Lake) celebrated her birthday in San Diego with another dear friend, Scott Downey, who showed us all the proper way to make steak and chocolate chip cookies (of which I had maybe 10).
  
• Spray paint art: my hot little bro is quite the artist. He showed me a thing or two about using spray paint and turning it into art. The little dude is not only hot, but an incredible artist. Go for the gold Bry....

• Birds are not stupid. I have often told friends that birds have just seemed to get dumber as time has gone by. For example, I drive down the road and see birds harvesting on a new carcass splat on the road. My hope is that as I slow from 55 to 50, that these birds will look up and take flight. Lately it seems that their reflexes have been a little on the poor side. I could contribute this handicap to air quality, loss of habitat, quality of carcass...alas, I used to claim that they were stupid. How much they proved me wrong. While visiting Coronado Beach as part of my birthday visit, a family left their belongings (including food) unattended while the seagulls took charge. I will just let these pics speak for themselves. Moral of the story: birds are not as dumb as I thought.

• Snorkling date: went on seriously one of the best dates with my long-term distance, no expectations BF to La Jolla. I haven't been on too many dates in San Diego close to the beach....I could get used to it! Didn't really get to see too many fish due to the red tide...but the fish I did see, including my ever-so-water intense date, was quite remarkable! Followed up by one of the best sandwiches with hummus, sun-dried tomato-cucumbers and balsamic vinegar...does it get any better?
• Beginning of two more classes. HOLLER. What is with me and summer school? I can't help it, I am in love! I just had to take 4 classes this summer. In addition to the ethics class, I am taking Foundations of Education Leadership and Policy, and Administrative Law. My American Government class started in August...right before school starts for fall. Why the rush, you ask? BECAUSE people....I found out that I am graduating in December!! Can I get a whoop whoop. In other words, swoot-woo. And then what? Off to DC baby! That is the goal. That is the dream. East coast, here I come....
  

June

• What the heck did I do....? I don't remember. Oh, school. That's right! Mid-terms, papers, hearing about everyone's amazing vacays, but really feeling like I wasn't missing out cause I love school like that....yup. I also started training to do a 5k swim in August, until I found out that the weekend of the race was my weekend of school. ALAS, I am still training as if I were in it!
• Went on a date to the incredible Gina Bachauer International Piano Competition, played in conjunction with the Utah Symphony. Amazing! We heard this one pianist from Ukraine, Pavlo Gintov, who wowed me not only in his size, but also in his composition. His poise at the piano was natural, his memorization and movement, astounding. I believe he got 3rd overall. Incredible!
• Wedding Reception: My dear friend Meta Mitchel got hitched in Phoenix. On my travels to see this incredible experience, I was able to reunite with the SV clan. I can't tell you how much all my peeps mean to me, and how much I thank them all for their amazing service to me! A huge part of my life...aah, the memories. There are just so many feelings. My cup o'erfloweth :) Seeing Meta arm in arm with her EC was a pretty remarkable experience...one I most likely will never forget, and we all know about my memory loss issues....
  

July

• There is no July without a little St. George fireworks. Chillin with the family down in the George is one of my fave past times. This year, it was full of girly stuff like, being lazy at the pool with kiddies, going to plays like Pride and Prejudice, putting puzzles together, making up a new nickname for Mama Blau (Grandma Yo Yo), hitting up Tarzan at the Tuacahn....see it people, taking Bryan on a date to see the Last Airbender (good job M. Night, very much like the cartoon), hanging with Jamie's in-laws, getting excited about playing with extended family, hearing the sewing machine of the ladies (aaah, the memory takes me back to living at home).
• Jazz festival: An annual tradition for me, I got down and funky with the best date ever...Mama Blau! We got groovy to the sounds of Ellis Hall, who was mentored by Ray Charles. Also blind, I couldn't help but love his little screams mid song. It added to the Mo-town funk! Ellis Hall is my boyfriend!
  
• Demolition Derby: I'm sorry, how many seats are you saving? Um, 35...gotta problem with that!? What, I gots the fam and the peeps. The marrieds, the singles, the extended....what? There is nothing better!