Wednesday, November 27, 2013

October Happiness Project Updates

I remember the days being SO long when I was a child. It doesn't seem fair that I am finally getting a hold of this life thing, and the days speed up. And so, I am running backwards, trying to hang on to October, and December is in 4 days. With that, I have some reporting to do.

October Resolutions

Spirituality: Pray sitting up and study receiving revelation

The praying sitting up thing went and is going well. The whole point of making a goal to pray sitting up was so I wouldn't fall asleep in the middle of the prayer. It was like I was leaving God on hold an entire 8 hours...that's just not very nice. Beyond just sitting up, I discovered that when I pray before my nightly routine, I get better results. 

In my blog post, Receiving Revelation is Active, Anxiety is Not Happiness, I talked about 'receiving revelation' specifically for our future family. My sweetheart and I have been talking to one another and talking with the Lord about moving back west for school. When we were married, we knew this would be a possibility. After researching schools out here, trying online classes, and praying about potential jobs etc., we decided to move to Idaho so my sweetheart can complete his Bachelor's degree at BYU-Idaho.

I have never been one of those people where things 'just fall into place.' I have always felt that I work super hard to get where I get, with full support from God. I know my opportunities are open because of Him. On the other hand, my sweetheart tends to have the 'just fall into place' kind of experiences. In this way, he is great for me. He is teaching me not to freak out so much, or have unnecessary anxiety. That, coupled with prayers to ease my crazy, have been completely helpful for my ability to receive revelation and let things 'fall into place.' I also have to keep in mind my 12th Commandment: All in the Lord's time.

Being able to study about receiving revelation has made me do things differently and increased my happiness.

Marriage: Compliment my sweetheart everyday - must be genuine

This was actually really easy to do. I honestly do not think my sweetheart can have enough compliments, and I don't say that in a bad way. This is his love language and certainly needs to be enhanced during the It moments (It=depression). And you know what, it isn't a bad goal. I think I will keep this one up as much as I can. AND PS: Doesn't he look amazing with a beard? I think so too ;)

Perhaps I can even expand it to be, for every 1 thing I say that isn't uplifting to my sweetheart, I have to follow it up with 3 things that are.

Finances: Actually create a budget and stick to it

We did a budget and attempted an allocated spending plan based on our Dave Ramsey class. With the move in full swing, we are struggling to keep up with filling out our budget. It was also hard to do, seeing that we had different bank accounts and couldn't see where all the money was coming and going. We found ourselves having hour long budgeting sessions that often ended in tears (on my part). 

One other thing to keep in mind is my 13th Commandment: Everyone has agency. I can't force my sweetheart to come and do a budget with me, which is what I felt like most of the time. I could make up excuses for why we haven't completed this task, but I would have to say that we both agree having this down will make us happier. So, we will shoot for January.

Family/Friends: Find memorabilia and text/email/inform the finds to family/friends saying "remember when"

This has been super fun. I have been able to catch up with people I care about the most. I feel that with all the technology available and at my disposal, it has actually gotten harder to establish and maintain intimate connections. Connecting on deeper levels is something that makes me truly happy. I want to continue focusing on this goal and really reach out. 

I have isolated myself lately due to wanting to conquer It (as mentioned earlier), and noticed that isolation makes It worse. Going through memorabilia helps with It too as I remember all those who care about me, and all those I care about. I am more and more convinced that we as human beings are here to take care of others and help them grow.

Intellect: Continue studies on behavioral disorders

I didn't do this and tell you all about why in the blog post "It" Does Not Define Me. Now that the fear to start researching is over, and I really want to know more about it, I will start studying about depression and ADHD, two behavioral issues that I misunderstand as a person who is a caretaker of someone who exhibits them.

Health: Resume work out regime "do it now"

Yeah, this just didn't happen. I have no follow up on this. I need to keep in mind my commandment 8: It is part of life's learning experience to fail - what is failure anyway?

Time: Start throwing things away. Scan unnecessary but wanted paperwork.

A good friend of mine read my post Prioritizing Isn't Compromise, and saw that I was incredibly behind on scanning my documents. I started to do it at the beginning of the month, and the chores of everyday living prevented my progression, hence the blog post. She called me up and asked me to bring over my papers - you know the papers I have held onto since high school. As a self-proclaimed, unpublished on paper, writer, I refuse to throw any of my old creative writing papers away. 

Well, you will be so proud of me. I have thrown away more than 2,000 papers!! We had two full bags full by the end of one night. I can't tell you how liberating it is to not have to haul this stuff around, and can't wait to keep going!! I found myself saying, "What else can I trash!" Say goodbye to the pack rat in me! THANK YOU BOBBI!

Passion: Cook an experiment once a week. Finish one book other than intellect studies.

Did the cooking thing, and more than once a week. You can read all about my amazing dish in my blog post Experiment Sunday: I am a Social Cook. I love cooking so much, I am going to cook a little something something at a going away party we are having December 15 in VA. Holler at me if you are interested in seeing us off, and eating great treats, and I will send you the details for the party.

I finished the book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. 

Rating 4 out of 5*'s. 

I like reading books without knowing ANYTHING about them. I bought this at a book sale not knowing what to expect. I loved this book. Little did I know that this book couples nicely with what I am learning regarding behavioral disorders. This book is written from the view of a 15 year-old boy who exhibits some autistic behaviors, or has some other behavioral disorder...although I realize now it never sheds light to what it is exactly. 

I will let you read the background of the book on your own, but I will say I couldn't put it down, it was funny, dramatic, and made me fall in love with the character. It has the swears, and the story is kind of sad, so beware. I am a fan of the author. Since I hadn't or haven't done any research or read reviews on this book, I am still wondering what contact the author has had with persons who have autism. I felt that he was able to capture misunderstood or misinterpreted behavior through this mystery. I highly recommend this book.


So October came and went. In a way I am still struggling with not being able to do everything I set out to do (Commandment 8). But, my good intentions are there, and I have been able to focus on other things that are keeping my little family together in ways I couldn't imagine. The goal is still happiness. The way is rough. And secretly, I am hoping that my happy ending is more than just 10 minutes. 

While digressing a little from the conclusion, let me explain: I don't like watching movies  where the majority is all about doom and gloom, and the "happy ending" is only 5-10 minutes long. I am not encouraged by that brief amount of 'happy.' Even in the scriptures when Christ comes to visit the Nephites (don't know what I'm talking about, visit 3 Nephi 11), he is only there for 4 chapters, and the rest of the book talks about all the bad stuff with a little good stuff intermingled. In the end of all suffering, my hope is that the happy will far outlast the not happy. 

That is what I have hope in. And that is why I am working so hard to find the happy by the decisions I make, and trying to improve the relationship I have with God and those I care about. 

 At the end of the day, scanning an item might not be a big deal. BUT in the grand scheme of things, scanning that item will give me the opportunity to toss it out - and getting rid of clutter and doing all this other stuff makes me happy. 


AJ Candrian said...

Very exciting about Idaho! Congrats! When do you move?

Unstoppable Lindsey said...

Hey babe! I know you come out here and I go out there....SAD!

We are moving in January!! So soon....crazy, right! We are super excited about it.