How do I love Chocolate...let me count the ways

Thanks to my endless searching for love on LDS linkup.com, I just found this video that defines my life, love for chocolate...and men! Some guy I don't know that lives in the United Kingdom posted this on his profile. Thank you stranger called Apple Pie!

Taurus-like a bull

I don't believe in following horoscopes...and I was never really one of those girls that had to check it out every month in some teeny-bopper magazine. I thought it would be fun to read it in some random home garden magazine for kicks and giggles. When I read it I thought about it for a split second and disregarded it immediately. Out of curiosity, I decided to look one more time: "You've got some major emotions working their way through your heart right now and they might interfere with your daily business. Let them! There's no way to bypass them and you're better off coping now."

Interesting. Not that I will begin taking heed from horoscopes, but decided to conduct more research just for fun. Here is what it read for 2007: Neptune's influence will create confusion about your life goals--where exactly you are headed--is likely to be part of the picture. Do your best to avoid encouraging others to idealize you or to see you for who they want you to be rather than who you actually are. Disappointments can be avoided that way.

In the last Ensign, President Eyring talks about being true to myself and how when I am bearing my testimony to other people, the truthfulness of what I feel will be portrayed in words...and people will recognize the 'realness,' 'truthfulness,' and 'authenticity' of what I am saying. When I read, 'let others see you for who you are rather than showing your idealistic person,' that is what I think about. Am I being true to myself? Does it matter what other people think when I am being real? Do horoscopes really define me!? Hah. No, but the gospel does and really when I think about it, ties into anything really.

Why do I carry 3 lip glosses in my purse?

I have been thinking about the theory that a man is defined by what is in his wallet...it is an intriguing thought. I wonder, am I defined by what I carry around in my bag? I am going to check out the oddities that live in my purse…that define me. Tell me if I am off….

1. 4-year old receipts. Why do I hold on to those? Am I loyal to them? Am I afraid that something is going to happen to the item I purchased and 4 years down the road I will see if I can return it in exchange for a new something, but still wanting the old something? Do I need receipts for the extra 'trash paper' that I am going to use to spit out my gum? Did I just forget it was in there? Maybe I like the wax-i-ness of the paper...hmm, something to think about, that's for sure.

2. A mini purse full of feminine products-need I say more. I am a girl. BUT that also holds 2 different kinds of chapstick: icy and Burt's Bees. Both very soothing to the lips, but I have one chapstick just in case I lose the other. What about the 3 lip-glosses? One is a brownish color, one is red and one has no color but provides a nice and soothing menthol feel and makes my lips look plump. I guess you never know what kind of outfit you are going to be wearing, right. I have also heard that shiny lips attract the opposite sex. Am I trying too hard? Trying to be consistent? High maintenance? Just really like my lips and want others to like them too? Hmm…

3. Gum- very important thing to have in a purse. As much as I love mints, the after flavor is not my favorite. At least with gum, you can cover up tainted breath and tainted after taste breath. Yes, there is a difference. I find that when I clean my purse, there are many old half-sticks that have been thrown in! To my amazement, there are also little silver wrappers that seem to take over the whole bottom side of my purse. Why do I keep those? To avoid littering? To keep little remembrances of the time I popped gum in my mouth? To use as part of throwing my gum out?

4. A combo pill box in a Midol canister- mixing the drugs of Midol and allergy meds. For obvious reasons…and you can never have enough! That makes me sound like a druggy…I’m not….not like my parents!

5. Hundreds of business cards. Why? Do I sincerely know these people? Will I ever call them? Probably not, but knowing that I know someone must be important enough for me to have all these cards.

Sure there are the obvious things that are in a purse…but I just think about those little extras….that I found really begin to make sense for my life…really! Pretty interesting…what’s in your purse! Careful, we are on the world-wide web.

When Honesty Goes Too Far

I recently read an article about how facebook has now included an 'honesty box' where I can ask people to comment on whether or not they like my new dress, or if they like what I post, or if they like me! Even though I don't have this option on facebook, it seemed to me like a fun way to let admirers and such, finally tell the truth about feelings...creating a little flirting fun....BUT I kept reading the article and discovered that this new addition to facebook can do more harm than good.

This morning while conducting a search in the New York Times, I ran across another article that talked about three teenagers living in Nantucket, Massachusetts that committed suicide within months of each other. Though no connections between these three individuals, the island suffered incredibly because of this experience. I kept reading and found these statistics from the New York Times article: Teenage Suicides Bewilder and Island.

"Dr. Nock and other psychologists do not dispute that teenage suicides can occur in clusters — on average in at least five communities a year in this country, studies suggest. Researchers estimate that up to 5 percent of teenage suicides occur close to other ones, a higher rate than found in adults.

Some clusters appear to involve a deadly, incomprehensible fad. In the last year, 17 young people are thought to have killed themselves in Bridgend, a city of 130,000 in Wales. Others may just be coincidence, and in places with sequential teenage suicides, investigators have looked in vain for similarities or common reasons."

After reading this news, I continued to read about the 'honesty block' that is now a part of the world-wide web. According the the New York Times article: If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Post ...

"Some critics also believe it has become another weapon in the cyberbully’s arsenal. There have been reports at a high school in Palo Alto, Calif., of Honesty Box’s being used to slur male students because of their sexuality or to spread rumors about a female student.

Even more devastating, according to Michael Bloch, a junior at Palo Alto High School and the editor of the school Web site, was this message from one student to a classmate: “You should kill yourself. No one likes you.”"

Wow....as much as the internet makes information accessible, I realized how careful I need to be on what I take seriously and what I don't. Sure, it is an incredible tool to use...but with it comes a need for caution and warning. Especially with the new 'honesty block.' At first I thought....oh these people are just bringing it on themselves, but during these fragile moments of life (remember the high school drama?), it is a tender time. Regardless of upbringing, self esteem is critical during these defining moments of life. Teenagers are constantly seeking for the answers to questions of who they are, what their role is in life and their acceptance (not just in others, but of themselves). It can be a very fun or a very harsh time, because it is so defining of character and individuality. Reading stories like these troubles me.

I feel like creating the possibility of making sure that kids know how much they are loved...ALWAYS! I was one of those teenagers that found an incredible group of friends that understood that I was going to make mistakes...and loved me anyway. Some teens do not have this same opportunity. I was a happy teenager, but I do remember what it was like to 'find' myself. It is hard, it is part of progression...it never really stops. BUT, what I can do, is make sure that every teen I talk to knows of their worth! And what an incredible time they are living in.

Does it boil down to that? Do I blame their problems on the media or the internet? No! There is so much more to this than meets the eye. It has to start young....

I am just on a soap box now, but after reading this...what are your thoughts? What can we, those of us who have young children, single people, new couples, old couples with teenagers....what can we do to make sure that our children know who they are, their own significance to prevent the 'honesty block' from taking a toll on our wonderful kids?

There is more to sign language than signing

It's the beginning of the sign language revolution!! Over the past week, I have seen an incredible response to the Texas infant story! It is amazing to hear about those mom's and dad's out there that are using sign language to spur communication with their infants and toddlers. I remember hearing a story from a lady I work with that was teaching her son how to sign (he was about 9 months old at the time) and one day he woke up and signed milk...and she knew he was hungry! It is incredible.

I got this video from the Today Show website that talks about that 17-month old girl that I blogged about earlier. She has taken the world by storm!! The parents attribute her success to many things, including using sign language with her at an early age. It is pretty incredible to see that she learned to use signs through partly through watching Signing Time (the company I work with).

In an article written at TodayShow.com, it states, "Katy Barrett and her husband, Michael, are speech pathologists, and when Elizabeth was born, they said on Monday, they started teaching her sign language along with spoken language. They read to her often, and her favorite television program — the only one her parents let her watch — was a PBS show called “Signing Time,” which teaches kids sign language.

Yet, as much as her parents worked to stimulate her language skills, they were as astonished as anyone when she started picking out words and reading them, especially as they never attempted to teach her to read."

Texas Infant Can Read At 17 Months Old

Aside from reading books every day, play-time means mom writes down a word on paper and Elizabeth figures it out. This story is incredible to me. To see parents that are so involved in communication with their daughter and to also see the affect that education has so early in this child's life...it really is incredible. I truly admire parents that take the time to be with their children...actually 'be' with them. Everyday, I see how many mothers and fathers are truly a part of their child's life. AND it isn't just taking their children to dance practice, or soccer leagues to keep their child involved and to be more involved in their child's life. I love seeing when parents find joy in spending quality time with their kids. Oh, I hope I can live up to that one day! It is most certainly a goal for me!

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Nobody's Fool

The more I try to heal, the more I realize I don't have control over it. It is not completely in my power to heal myself. I have the ability to be taught and allow myself to be healed. I also need to realize that it takes time. And it will come all in the Lord's timing. I am sure I have quoted some of these before, but they are still so poignant for what I have been experiencing the last couple days.

In a talk given by Dallin H. Oaks called Timing, he said:

"My first point on the subject of timing is that the Lord has His own timetable. “My words are sure and shall not fail,” the Lord taught the early elders of this dispensation. “But,” He continued, “all things must come to pass in their time” (D&C 64:31–32).

The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith means trust—trust in God’s will, trust in His way of doing things, and trust in His timetable. We should not try to impose our timetable on His. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:

“The issue for us is trusting God enough to trust also His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best? The same is true with the second coming and with all those matters wherein our faith needs to include faith in the Lord’s timing for us personally, not just in His overall plans and purposes."

Indeed, we cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing."

I thought I was doing really well moving forward. I started going out with boys and enjoying being single again...but you know, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean that I all of a sudden have the ability to put an incredible relationship behind me. I am acting like such a wuss. It is not like I have experienced this incredible loss, like losing a loved one to death, or losing a home, or a child, or anything like that. I thought I was ready to move on and have met incredible boys who might want to take that step with me....but I am not ready. I hate saying that, because I have been such a proponent of the fact that I am the one preventing myself from moving forward. I am the one creating 'stories' in my head about how I am not ready. Why then do I feel that I really AM not?

I don't feel like I am holding on to a hope. No, not at all. I don't feel like I am waiting for Mr. Perfect to sweep me off me feet. No, no such thing. I don't feel like I am being picky about the next one. Or am I? Why does everything have to be so serious for me? Why, when I go out on a first date do I get to know their last name and already have all the babies names picked out and know where we are going to live for the next X years of our lives? Why can't dating be just that?

Perhaps I am stuck in this mind frame that I was only a couple weeks ago, where my future with Bret was marriage and now I have to retrain my mind and go back 7 months to where I was before, when I looked forward to going out on a 2nd date.

I don't know...but it hurts and I hate it! I am miss pessimist today. Normally, I would apologize for being this way...but I can't. I take full responsibility for being this way. I hate being single....and I am trying to be happy. Today I am not. Looking at my life, this is not what I chose, but this is the way that it needs to be. I totally get that.

I find comfort and yet end up balling because of these words from the same talk:

"We prepare in the way the Lord has directed. We hold ourselves in readiness to act on the Lord’s timing. He will tell us when the time is right to take the next step. For now, we simply concentrate on our own assignments and on what we have been asked to do today. In this we are also mindful of the Lord’s assurance: “I will hasten my work in its time” (D&C 88:73). It is not enough that we are going in the right direction. The timing must be right, and if the time is not right, our actions should be adjusted to the Lord’s timetable as revealed by His servants."

Marriage is not happening for me yet. So, what do I do now? This next part is where I am struggling. I am struggling to find the faith of persistence, but for now, that is all I have to hold on to.

"So what should be done in the meantime? Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ prepares us for whatever life brings. This kind of faith prepares us to deal with life’s opportunities—to take advantage of those that are received and to persist through the disappointments of those that are lost. In the exercise of that faith, we should commit ourselves to the priorities and standards we will follow on matters we do not control and persist faithfully in those commitments, whatever happens to us because of the agency of others or the timing of the Lord. When we do this, we will have a constancy in our lives that will give us direction and peace. Whatever the circumstances beyond our control, our commitments and standards can be constant.

The commitments and service of adult singles can anchor them through the difficult years of waiting for the right time and the right person. Their commitments and service can also inspire and strengthen others. Wise are those who make this commitment: I will put the Lord first in my life, and I will keep His commandments. The performance of that commitment is within everyone’s control. We can fulfill that commitment without regard to what others decide to do, and that commitment will anchor us no matter what timing the Lord directs for the most important events in our lives."

Am I a Tigger or an Eeyore? A Dying Man Gives His Last Lecture on Life.

I have been taking a class and have attended various Institute classes, Sunday Schools and heard many talks that have all taught me how to stare life in the face and say, 'Hey, I can do this, I am worth it, nothing is going to stop me and I am going to enjoy doing whatever I am doing no matter what!' I have been able to talk to several people about my feelings on this subject and then I stumbled across this incredible story that explains it so much better.

Here is a man whose life could end at any moment and he is making the best of it by sharing what he has learned about life and what the most important things are in life. The video is about 10 minutes. After watching it, I realized that he is spot on. He clearly emphasizes what life has been for him and encourages those who are watching what they can do to find happiness!