Being away from sweetheart for so long has been rough; I miss him terribly. To be honest though, I try not to miss him until the evening time when I get to talk to him on the phone. I am sure you are thinking this is unfair. Hear me out.
Trying to pay visits and busying myself with doing everything in DC before I leave has been a great use of my time. Some of my acquaintances have commented that I am just 'too busy.' You are probably thinking I don't have time for you because I am too busy. Hear me out.
I prefer to be busy. I think I always have. I remember someone once saying that the busier a person is, the less time they have to sin. I agree with this notion.
I am currently reading Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (second time in less than a year, because I love it so much). In one of my favorite moments, the main male character has a little self-reflective moment in his life in regards to his apparent laziness, which was brought on by a great disappointment. During this phase, and in regards to his character it reads, "Now what shall I do? That seemed a hard question to answer, and Laurie began to wish he had to work for his daily bread. Now, if ever, occurred an eligible opportunity for 'going to the devil,' as he once forcibly expressed it, - for he had plenty of money and nothing to do, - and Satan is proverbially fond of providing employment for full and idle hands."
The thought occurred to me that this does not apply just to money. It applies to work in general. Even for the those without money, it is easy to be idle. There are some who may have jobs where they don't do their due diligence and get away with the bare minimum for a paycheck, which hinders progression and growth. In addition, I think the same can be said of time - when I have plenty of time and don't have any plans to do anything it is easy for me to think about 'what isn't right' in my life.
I have struggled with the fact that I often feel disappointed. I don't know why it always turns that way, but it does, and I am consciously working on it. When I busy myself with good things, my disappointment lessens. When I am lazy, or busy myself with not the greatest of things, I am easily let down.
So when my friends, family, loved ones, coworkers, acquaintances say that I am too busy, I shouldn't take offense, or have to explain myself, right? I should just smile at the fact that I know I am happier when I am busying myself with things that prevent me from moping over my sweetheart because we have been apart almost a month, thinking about all that other stuff I didn't get done, wondering where all the time went while I watched all my shows online...you get the idea.
Keeping busy is the best thing for my happiness.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
I actually don't know the answer to this question. I am asking. Packing up a house in preparation for a move (for me) means packing up memories, saying goodbye, leaving behind and starting anew, which can be scary. I have been working super hard at trying not to be scared. If anything, I have been excited about this new adventure. I have needed a slower pace, and moving to Idaho was absolutely in the cards for us. So, why the breakdowns? I have boiled it down to circumstance. For weeks, I have been packing - you think that would make it more real. But it hasn't been. It was real late Monday. The moving truck came. And then, the bill came too. Still not knowing about the job front, the large bill probably scared me half to death. Let the breakdowns begin.