Friday, January 29, 2010

High School Locker Drama

I had another dream where I was in high school...again, and I couldn't get my locker open, thus making me late to class. This dream, however, was very different than my other I-can't-get-my-locker-open dreams. This time, the principal found me and when I thought I was going to get in trouble she reassured me that she knew who I was and knew I wasn't trying to slack off and would forgive my tardiness. Instead of feeling dread for missing the first couple minutes of class and potential repercussions of being tardy, I felt like I was important and known. I felt like despite the fact that I was going to be late to class that I would be OK because my principal knew my intentions and knew that I was prepared, just delayed. However, during the dream, I recall thinking that this circumstance didn't give me an excuse to be late all the time...but that I should always strive to be the best student I could by arriving to class on time.

I love remembering dreams.

I have my own interpretation for the dream...anyone else?

Monday, January 25, 2010

Relationships and the Economy

It's funny how everything seems healing when you are searching for things that can heal, especially after experiencing disappointed hopes. I was reading Naked Economics by Charles Wheelan, as part of my assignment for my Governance and Economics class. I not only LOVE this book for its insight into the science of governance and the economy, but also for the little bits of healing I have found and somehow managed to thwart into my own little category of 'failed relationship science and application.' Here is what I learned:

Lesson 1: When discussing financial markets, Wheelan gives an example of being at the grocery store and determining which line is shorter and therefore would be quicker to get through. He determines that, "It's the things you can't predict that matter" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 130). This spurred in me an ah-hah moment especially in relationships and life in general. How BORING would it be if life was predictable...if every relationship went the way I wanted? Predictability lacks excitement.

Lesson 2: Again, referring to the grocery store analogy, Wheelan suggests to "pick a line and stand in it" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 130). I kinda laughed because at this point, I am just waiting for someone to pick my line....and if my assets are "priced efficiently" everyone is better off in the long-run.

Lesson 3: I LOVED this, especially when I thwarted it with my theory. "Human beings make flawed decisions. We are prone to herdlike behavior, we have too much confidence in our own abilities, we place too much weight on past trends when predicting the future, and so on" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 131). How many times have I heard that one or two or even three relationships haven't worked out because so much of it was based on fear? There are a lot of us single people out there who have experienced some tragic (and I am actually being serious, not facetious) relationships. We are on guard, we take time to trust other people, and sometimes what has happened in the past effects current and even potential relationships we can have with other people. Oh, if only we could have confidence that things were going to work out. I think a lot of people lack the faith that it will work out and allow the fear to take over.

Lesson 4: In any economic circumstance, besides saving, investing, diversifying, etc, it is important to take a risk every once in a while. Wheelan stated, "Risk is rewarded-if you have tolerance for it" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 134). Hmm, makes me think that maybe taking risks for a long-term relationship will be a good thing.

Lesson 5: "The odds are stacked in your favor if you are patient and willing to endure the occasional setback" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 135). No explanation needed.

Lesson 6: "Indeed, if we all believe that the economy is likely to get worse, then it will get worse. And if we all believe it will get better, then it will get better" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 157). Just like relationships, if we think they will get worse, then they will. But if we have hope in them and think they will get better, they will.

Lesson 7: "Recession may actually be good for long-term growth because they purge the economy of less productive ventures" (Wheelan, 2002, p. 158). This made me think that failed relationships may actually be good for long-term growth because they purge me of those relationships that could be potentially hazardous for my soul....I am being a little sarcastic, but you catch my drift.

So, all in all, I would have to say that relationships are much like the economy... unpredictable, didactic, exciting, lesson-learning and something to look forward to in the future. And that, ladies and gentleman, is a GREAT study day!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Rockin A Capella

In Gilmore Girls (Season 6 I believe) there is a scene where Lorelai and Christopher go visit Rory at Yale. During the parent day visit, Rory says to avoid tunnels, arches, or anywhere that has good acoustics because it means that A Capella groups are hanging out there. During the rest of the show, Lorelai and Christopher make sure to avoid these places due to the fact that everyone at Yale seemed to belong to these crazy no-instrument singing groups.

I find that I generally do not like A Capella groups either and found myself laughing at the way the groups were portrayed in the TV series. That was until tonight. I don't know what it was, but the group I saw perform this evening was brilliant. Each voice seemed seamless. The choreography was hilarious. Though the group was professional and poised, I couldn't help but notice individual personality and flare during their performance. Tonight I saw the Harvard Krokodiloes perform music from titles like Danny Boy, to some more upbeat tunes like My Girl and even Rockin Robin (where part of the choreography included three men acting like birds). I was completely impressed.

By the end, I wondered why I hadn't liked this kind of vocal organization before. Maybe it is because I am jaded by the three to four-men A Capella groups that seem mostly to come out of Utah. I am not saying it is terrible, but there is something to be said about a larger A Capella group. I also liked that their sound was true to the song, beat-boxing. Maybe that is why I haven't been so fond of A Capella groups before. Regardless, I thoroughly enjoyed the performance tonight and hope to go visit Harvard, Yale, Columbia and other top-notch schools that choose to stick with the roots of the true A Capella sounds.

Sunday, January 17, 2010


You have generally read my reflections as 'life's lessons' or 'little lessons learned.' I recognize that I, indeed, have learned a lot in the past two weeks about myself and about God. Therefore, I will share my reflections.

I have learned that:
  • Despite the fact I give myself a time limit to feeling a certain way, it doesn't mean that the time limit will work. I realized that even as it may become easier to cast disappointment aside, that it will still hurt from time to time. That is all part of growth.
  • Surrounding myself by loved ones who love me unconditionally is a GREAT blessing when I am struggling.
  • The Lord keeps His promises, which was not something that I really believed before. But now I can say that I know it. I still struggle with this concept sometimes, but the foundation of this truth has been laid, I just need to start building on what I know.
  • There is someone who will care about me enough to want to be with me. That despite the fact I have quirks and weaknesses, that it will work out. I, in turn, will always try to be the best person I can be in order to work on those funny things about myself that will contribute to a life of learning about Jesus Christ and His plan of happiness through growing experiences and self-mastery.
  • Even if someone I care about doesn't care about me in the same way, that I need to accept their reasoning as something that is valid and unarguable. In other words, I need to respect that they know what is best for them and what will help them grow and succeed in the long run. I am still struggling to accept this as it has been very easy for me to place blame and play the victim card when things in my life haven't gone the direction I would have hoped.
  • The Lord is really with me all the time through disappointed hopes by sending me friends and family who care about me no matter what and who see my value as a women and child of God when I don't have the ability to look beyond my despair.
  • Under the circumstances, I have actually grown up a little bit and have more of an opportunity to grow close to my Father in Heaven and trust that He knows what is best for me, even when I think that what is best for me is behind me and I have no control over it.
  • There is a lot to look forward too, something that in the past, I have not been able to recognize.
  • I need to look at past romantic relationships as 'opportunities passed' instead of 'disappointed expectations.'
  • I know that I can get through these situations when I rely on my Savior to help me do better than I did last time. The reality is that there are still some days where my anxieties take over and I forget about everything I have learned about myself and my Father in Heaven and His plan. It almost seems like I can never relax in understanding His plan for me, and that satan grabs a hold of everything I know is true and slams it against the wall. It is exhausting sometimes trying to keep the adversary away from my thoughts. But I know light prevails against darkness. It has always been and will continue to be.
I sound so grown-up, don't I? ;)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Inspired Graffiti

Normally, I don't condone graffiti unless it has been sanctioned by some organization or something, but today I may have had a change of heart. In the bathroom at the University of Utah library and a place where all my best pondering takes place, someone had written 'Practice Tolerance' on the back of the toilet paper holder. The word 'Tolerance' had been crossed out and was replaced with the word 'Acceptance.' I found this little piece of graffiti, especially the way it was constructed (someone's original thought, replaced by words of wisdom by someone else) to be rather refreshing.

It seems that tolerance is something that is in place as a precursor to acceptance. There are so many things that were once tolerated that over time have become accepted. I find that acceptance is actually a more peaceful resolution to barriers that may exist in any circumstance. So, while it may be prudent to practice tolerance, it is almost more effective to practice the end outcome, in this case - acceptance. So, thank you dear graffiti artist for giving me something to think about in the quiet thrones of the University of Utah library bathroom.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'm Not Crazy

I have had to look at my school schedule at least 20 times this past week. After chatting with friends post-holidays, I started having a freak out that school was starting already. No, I haven't had those dreams where I forget my locker combo, or forget to dress before school starts, but I have had to re-check online several times just to make sure that school really does start on January 11. Most friends ask "When do you start school?" just to inquire about it...I then freak thinking that maybe I was supposed to have already started school. So, the University system can include me on making them popular on their CPC campaigns since I have clicked on them enough times to make them noticed on google.

No, Lindsey, the school date did not change over the holidays...and no Lindsey, you are not crazy.