tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34648231005040401712024-03-13T10:48:36.214-07:00Blowing BubblesUnstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.comBlogger396125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-16129841413165623562022-02-24T20:57:00.004-08:002022-02-24T21:00:02.852-08:00Letting My Kids Fall<p></p><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Last week, the boys (B the 3-year-old and D the 5-year-old) went for a walk next to the Virgin River in St. George. Near the river is a bike/walk path that had two very steep hills. Before we got out of the car, I warned the boys that the hill was steep and told them not to ride their scooters until we got to the flat part near the river. B immediately got on his scooter, taking off quickly down the hill. As I yelled "STOP!!!" running after him, he jumped from his scooter, landed on loose dirt, and fell hard right before the more dangerous drop off. </span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"></span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyolCS_A9dSJ2Vgh4suhMLkDWt2W7ti1J3iu-bUdqFuTQC9KQaQ2Er_k6KN8hc-zGXosMYHePpa4UGkTaXTXGvoPOPq119COY3iM8IyyciAeWnpRRK3mr4mN0htoroDNXh8r-q9_WMfCg-dcFDonCbO6Jrz4eIKnryEoVYoHDhmp6ehtkfBOpQF8R9=s1500" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1500" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyolCS_A9dSJ2Vgh4suhMLkDWt2W7ti1J3iu-bUdqFuTQC9KQaQ2Er_k6KN8hc-zGXosMYHePpa4UGkTaXTXGvoPOPq119COY3iM8IyyciAeWnpRRK3mr4mN0htoroDNXh8r-q9_WMfCg-dcFDonCbO6Jrz4eIKnryEoVYoHDhmp6ehtkfBOpQF8R9=w387-h215" width="387" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: xx-small;"><em style="background-color: #fcfcfc; box-sizing: border-box; color: grey; text-align: start;">The Art of Falling #3 </em><span face="raleway, sans-serif" style="background-color: #fcfcfc; color: grey; text-align: start;">by Nathalie Labaki</span></span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-family: helvetica;">As I helped B from his fall and again warned him not to continue down the next really steep hill, D told me he used his break, proud of himself for managing the first hill. As I examined B for any blood, breaks, sprains, etc., D took off down the next dangerous hill. I remember turning my head just as his body launched off the scooter, watching him roll 3 times, skidding to an immediate halt. It all happened so quickly. I yelled/swore and ran down the hill...praying that B wouldn't jump on his scooter while my back was turned.</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">D was a champ. Hurt, ABSOLUTELY, but a champ nonetheless. Several onlookers watched as I examined him. Among the commotion I hear, "ON YOUR LEFT" as D's incredibly audible sobs echoed under the bridge. I didn't dare move him until I knew his body was in tact and the 'jerk face' biker had the audacity to keep his pace while passing us....I digress (forgive my humanity).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">One sweet angel woman came and gave us water to help clean his wounds. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Asking what my next step was, I thought about what I was going to do. I wasn't sure. I thanked her as she left. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">D was in pain, his wounds needed cleaning, and it was an uphill climb to the car. He sat next to me shaking and uncontrollably crying. It was hard seeing him hurt so badly. It was also hard for me not to be slightly angry that this could have been prevented if only he had listened the first time.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Against my nature, and thankfully, I didn't try to fix or mend immediately. I also didn't get upset with him or tell him he should have listened to his mom. I sat next to him. I don't remember offering him words. I felt in the moment that he needed to be in his pain and that talking to him would only exacerbate the situation. I watched him as he went through the broad range of emotion. Every time he looked at his bleeding wounds, he cried louder. He went from shock and fear to hurt and pain and back again.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">After a couple of minutes, while B scampered off to throw rocks in the river, I finally spoke to him. "D, what do you want to do? We can go home and wash your "owies" and watch some movies and relax, or we can stay and throw rocks in the river." He cried out. He was so excited about throwing rocks in the river earlier. This decision seemed to create more pain for him. But, I waited for his answer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Through his tears, he said, "Let me see if I can hold a rock." He picked up a rock and said, "Oh, that's not so bad." Immediately, he stopped crying, got up from where we were sitting and said, "I want to stay and throw rocks."</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">We ended up throwing rocks in the river for 2 hours.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">When we decided to cross the bridge to the other side, I ran into an angel friend from my past. We ended up catching up on life and in the process of our updates I asked her what she does to help her child with resilience; where does she step in; where does she allow a fall? She was exactly the person I needed to speak to at that moment to help me process everything that happened.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It is hard to see my children fall (physically, emotionally, spiritually), but my friend reminded me to look at how much they learn when they do...just like me, right? Obviously, I want to protect my kids from doing something dangerous, but also allowing falling to happen.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I see/hear this analogy a lot: when people compare the falls in life to watching toddlers learn how to walk. There is so much strength in that metaphor. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Some things I can tell you about this incident that took me by a welcome surprise:</span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: helvetica;">While my initial reaction to D falling felt uncontrolled (my immediate gut reaction), I was impressed with myself for how I handled what happened after my gut reaction. Like I said earlier, it is not in my typical nature to "wait and see". I typically try fix or mend it, but instead, I waited until D was ready to tell me what he wanted to do. <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: helvetica;">It was amazing to see D move through his varying stages until he was ready to make a choice. I have been worried about him for a long time - his adaptability, his beautiful and sensitive heart, how he feels about himself, how hard he is on himself already as a 5 year old. Watching him move through pain, (which was also painful for me), allowed me to see his beauty, his emotional heart, his problem solving skills, his resilience, and his ability to seek joy after all of it.</span></li></ul><p></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">I cried to see this incredible young man. This moment was truly a gift from God. It was one of the first times, I have seen D through heavenly eyes. Oh....to see who this young man will become.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;">This experience makes me wonder if this is how our Heavenly Parents work. They watch us fall, help dust us off, wait for us to respond until we are ready, and then ask us what we want to do now - seeing our magnificence in our response, whatever that is.</span></p>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-59542310239109689572021-05-03T12:43:00.012-07:002021-05-03T12:44:33.148-07:00Mommy tales: Stop Crying, and other lies I told myself about child emotions<p><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: helvetica; font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-07mnlc-4vc0/YJBSQxil2WI/AAAAAAAAEtE/JigvepTk2Tk-HToqaDVHXmE0ASslIhjpwCNcBGAsYHQ/s1200/child-crying-public.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="1200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-07mnlc-4vc0/YJBSQxil2WI/AAAAAAAAEtE/JigvepTk2Tk-HToqaDVHXmE0ASslIhjpwCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/child-crying-public.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: helvetica;">Saturday, Dean was crying. A. Lot. It is actually quite typical. I get it. </span><p></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-2e78aff8-7fff-6ec4-3376-f3e384875a67" style="font-family: helvetica;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am emotional. I remember being young and my dad saying, “Stop crying!” I was often called cry baby by family and peers. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It wasn't until the last couple of years that I have really embraced this about myself. Now, crying is a gift. It is something I am proud of. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My dad once shared a seminary lesson he taught, where at the time, people carried vials around their necks to collect their tears because those tears were considered more than gold and were also thought to have healing powers. (I just did some research on this and even though there is historical debunking of this happening right now, I like it anyway. If you are interested in knowing more about these “tear bottles” read this article about </span><a href="https://timelesstraditionsgifts.com/history.htm" style="text-decoration-line: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; text-decoration-line: underline; text-decoration-skip-ink: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">lachrymatory tear bottles</span></a><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.)</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This story was important to me at the time, because instead of apologizing for crying, I gave myself permission to embrace it. Embracing this emotion has been so powerful for me to feel deeply and love that about myself. Whenever I am with students, I also give them permission to cry, and share that story my dad shared with me. I want to create that safe space for them. Crying is freeing and healing.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So then why on this good earth would I become one of those parents constantly trying to 'check' Dean’s emotions at the door? Why did I become one of those parents to shout, “Stop crying!”</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was easy to justify. I would tell myself: </span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /><br /></span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It isn't that he is crying, it is the volume of his crying. So I tried to tell him to limit the volume</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /><br /></span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have also asked him to go to the other room, so that way, he could be as loud as he wanted as long as it wasn't in front of me or others</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /><br /></span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also thought, but his crying IS SO much. He cries over everything, especially when he gets wet with drinking water - he has no problem jumping in a river or lake with all his clothes….but the minute he spills, game over.</span></p></li></ul><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have had well intentioned moms talk to me about raising brave and courageous kids and who have recommended books for me to read to be better at rearing emotional children, all of this while trying to comfort and soothe a crying child.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But while Dean was again crying for the 4th time in an hour at a birthday party, I decided I wasn't going to say or do anything. I got into the headspace of trying to help him through his emotions based on all those parenting books and things that I saw other moms doing.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And you know what….that is a crummy space to be. To be in my kids space <b>all. the. time</b>. trying to tell him how to live? </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Sure, there are times for interference and teaching moments, but wow...I became a micromanager mom in order to somehow understand how to parent. I thought if I could know different techniques for parenting or learn how others do it, I would be better, he would be ‘better’. I would say the right things and raise amazing properly "emotioned" kids. </span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But you know something: <b>My kids are freaking amazing!! </b>They came that way.</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You know something else: <b>I am freaking amazing too.</b></span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, here is what I am going to do:
</span></p><ul style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-inline-start: 48px;"><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Realize I am doing my best, and my best is good enough for my kids</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Embrace that I am emotional, and that doesn’t make me weak therefore: my children are emotional, and that doesn’t make them weak</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Re-evaluate that I don’t care if others see my kids as cry babies, I will NOT view them that way and teach them the beauty in this form of expression</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Recognize that people are all well-intentioned and that is ok, I will be choosy with which advice to take and not fault others for wanting to be helpful</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Check-in with God on a regular basis to make sure I am understanding where I need to teach and where to step back</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Demonstrate LOVE to my kids instead of micromanaging them</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maintain a realistic perspective that even though I have embraced these thoughts, recognize that I am human and will still probably say, “Stop crying” but not beat myself up if I mess up</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ask my kids more about why they are feeling those feels in order to help them communicate why they are feeling these deep emotions - because communication is beautiful</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stop falling in the trap of teaching my kids to not have and/or express emotion</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Be better at asking, “What do you need mommy to do” when they come to me in safety - and let them take the lead on my involvement</span></p></li><li aria-level="1" dir="ltr" style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; list-style-type: disc; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><p dir="ltr" role="presentation" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Teach where I need to, but not make it my life’s mission to make every moment a teaching moment</span></p></li></ul></span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-2417959030760349992021-04-20T11:18:00.010-07:002021-04-20T11:22:13.992-07:00Single Mom Journal: They Made the Beds<p><span style=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Yesterday I walked in my home and smelled the lemon burst of my Swiffer cleaning wipes. I walked around my home (a place I typically dread coming home to because it stresses me out) with an overwhelming sense of peace. I noticed little things: my computer in a different location, the small used rags gone off the counter top, the toys picked up and put in the bin on our main floor. Then, I walked upstairs. The laundry I had put out for folding was folded so beautifully and neatly. </span></p><p><span style=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">But as I rounded the corner, I saw that my boys beds had been beautifully made in a clean, crisp room. That is when I fell to my knees and cried. I cried loudly. It was the kind of crying that is beautiful and deep. My reaction was unanticipated. I knew I would be grateful, yes.....but not like this. </span><span style=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">The sound came from my stomach and filled the room with moaning that could have been mistaken for pain - and it was somewhat. </span></p><p><span style=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">While another person may have stifled their cries, I did not hold back. I let it out. It was freeing, as if I had been holding my emotion captive. It was messy. It was raw. It was real. I was letting go of a pain that only I (and Jesus) could understand</span></p><p><span style=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Being a single mom is hard. I don't say this for sympathy, I am saying it because it is true. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know <b>how</b> it would be hard. I feel like I am constantly battling time. I work 3 jobs and get to spend 3 waking hours, sometimes 4 (if I let the littles stay up) with my kids. And when I am with them, I am making dinner, giving baths, and I often feel like I have very little time to connect. They feel it. I feel it. Then I find when I do have more time with them, I don't know what to do.</span></p><p>It has been very difficult for me to shove aside the guilt that comes from my decisions. All. The. Time. But I do my best to shove this away, give it to God, process my role(s)... all the things. And so, I am spinning a lot of plates (taken from an <a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2020/08/life-balance-a-moving-target?lang=eng" target="_blank">analogy that Elder Bednar gave</a> once). </p><p>I constantly prioritize and re-prioritize. Some days there are certain things/activities/motivations that lead out and sometimes there are others. It doesn't look the same day-to-day.</p><p>I have gracious and well intended people tell me that I can leave dishes in the sink, or not clean my house, or put off those things that aren't priorities. And while I know they mean well....I hate going home when I follow that advice. </p><p>You see, all those things that I would put off still pile and pile and pile on top of each other. And while it may have meant that I spent more connected time with my kids instead of cleaning my house, I get cranky, because now I have to spend an entire Saturday and Sunday cleaning. Then I think - little bits at a time, right? But those little bits don't happen in a lively household either. Overall, my littles don't have my full attention because my list in my head would grow and grow - of all the things I had to do. Putting it off has the opposite effect for me.</p><p>I was thinking about posting on social media about needing help cleaning my house. But I found every reason not to. </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>It is COVID - who wants to expose themselves to our germs? </li><li>It isn't right to ask so much of someone - I should pay them, but I just quit job 2 and job 3 so I wouldn't have that stress, <b>how</b> will I pay them? How much should I pay them? </li><li>Should this be service? No, it is too much for it to be service.</li><li>I am tired of being the person that everyone else is serving all the time....when can I pitch in to serve them?</li><li>Who do I trust in this very intimate and safe place I have tried to create for my little family? </li><li>I can do it...I just need to schedule the time instead of binging Netflix after my kids go down after 10 p.m. every night even though my job 2 and 3 are supposed to happen during those hours.</li><li>I can clean when their dad has them, instead of doing the self-care that I really don't need, right?</li></ul><p></p><p>The battle is hard and real, so much so that I end up feeling defeated in my thoughts, and never follow through with it. I never really pray about it either. I don't feel like I should. It is just so silly - not being able to manage a home....that isn't very self-reliant. </p><p>I thought about "The Secret" and thought I would tell some people about how I was feeling, just to open it up to the Universe. And while well-intentioned, I stumbled on advice giving, but found that what I need is someone in my life to take action because I often can't muster it. The battle with myself leaves me so wounded, without a lot to keep me going. In some silly way, I felt the responses were the universe's way of telling me I was asking too much - so I stopped asking.</p><p>But then, I mentioned something last week to a good friend. This friend had the drive and initiative to figure out all the details for me, and arranged to have the service missionaries come twice a week to help me. All I had to do was leave minimal instruction.</p><p>The note I found on my counter went something like: <i>Thank you for letting us come to clean your beautiful home. We hope you have what you need to relax and be with your family. We will back on Friday</i>.</p><p>I am still tearing up thinking about how having this relief has meant the world to me. I am so grateful. I know I have a lot to work on with self-compassion, but while I am battling that, it has been so amazing to me to see all the people in my corner.</p><p>People are amazing and God is SO SO SO good.</p>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-29876572225202658822020-11-20T13:38:00.001-08:002020-11-20T13:52:42.065-08:00Coming to the End: My Fight With Gratitude<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X7hXoK6HBvI/X7g2BYaVQ0I/AAAAAAAAEXI/evmNbBBN_SIn9T43nAlXqMftVsu5SIXkgCNcBGAsYHQ/s582/President%2BNelson%2BNov%2B2020.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="343" data-original-width="582" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-X7hXoK6HBvI/X7g2BYaVQ0I/AAAAAAAAEXI/evmNbBBN_SIn9T43nAlXqMftVsu5SIXkgCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/President%2BNelson%2BNov%2B2020.png" width="320" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. My journey to and through this diagnosis has been interesting,<br /> painful, enlightening, curious, hard, and full of ups and downs. I started a treatment called EMDR and also started taking medicine to help with my physiological response to stress, triggers, trauma, moments....</span><p></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In my <a href="https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/strengthsfinder.aspx" target="_blank">StrengthsFinder 2.0</a> test, two of my top strengths are 'strategic and achiever'. Along with the greatness of these strengths also comes the warning to 'slow down, take time, meditate, create mindfulness, seek peace, breathe....' I could go on.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As with all trials in my life, I find that I want to quickly move through them, to find immediate solutions, to act with often frenzied faith, to put a timeline on my current dilemmas, situations, and circumstances. The term "anxiously engaged" for me has never spoken so true. I am anxiously engaged....all the time.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span>I struggle creating moments of refuge, respite, peace, and healing. Sometimes I feel m</span><span>y only refuge is going to a distant beach somewhere and shirking all responsibilities - something I haven't done in 20+ years. So, I carry on. I 'achieve'. I run faster and faster. I melt down.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Over time, I have become complacent and content with running fast, chalking it up to my strength. And while I acknowledge that it still is a strength I possess, I also realize it is my greatest weakness when I ignore the warnings and become jaded to my experiences. Recently, my counselor asked me how I feel joy. At the time, I couldn't pinpoint what it meant to have 'joy'. I could talk about peace, contentment, safety - but not joy. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">She asked the same thing about gratitude....and you know, I have always had a fight with gratitude - especially as it related to joy. The idea of 'enjoy the journey' is something I have struggled with for a very long time when I am going through hard things.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For several years, I have become very bitter toward shared experiences where someone says, "I am grateful for my trials." I call BS when I hear this, because REALLY? REALLY, you are grateful that so and so passed away, or that you have cancer, or that you are struggling financially....REALLY? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Wow, written, this seems harsh....but it proves my bitterness, doesn't it?</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I know that meekness and gratitude are often something I lack. I know I am stubborn and have pride. This is not new information. In the year since everything changed for me: my marital status, job, living situation, daycare situation, children who are experiencing trauma, financial situation, COVID, new numbing meds....my gratitude has been muted. Forget muted - <b>it has been non-existent</b>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">With my PTSD, I tried a medication that numbed me. After prayer and discussing different options with my doctor, I chose to go off the medication - I decided I would rather feel ALL of it than not feel ANY of it. <b>This decision is a very personal one, and not everyone should choose to do this</b>. For me, it feels right.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today, for the first time in a long time, I was able to cry. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When the Prophet (President Russel M. Nelson) so beautifully talked about the best prescription to feel peace, I couldn't help but feel all the weight of my fight with gratitude disappear. I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loves me so much that He would guide His servant to help me see clearly. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>In my 20-yearish battle with gratitude, I now understand this prescription to feel peace is exactly what has been missing in my life all this time.</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span>And so....I think this is the year (2020) that I will start to </span><span>experiment on this prescription to feel peace, to</span><span> finally slow down, to find calm, to stay still, to see how active God is in the lives of others and mine in order to share my gratitude, and to petition the Lord to heal my heart.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></p>
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IOBjWpjyJSs" width="560"></iframe></span></div>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-22066690106607563502020-06-22T15:16:00.001-07:002020-06-25T08:46:14.061-07:00Conscious Uncoupling, Co-parenting, Every Divorce is Different<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I remember reading an article when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin got divorced about <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/22/the-breakup-guru-who-invented-conscious-uncoupling-i-understand-the-backlash" target="_blank">conscious uncoupling</a>. At first, I thought it was just a PR ploy so this public couple could take ownership of the situation and not allow everyone else to read into their split. There was a lot of backlash too when it was first introduced. While it was a brilliant PR move, absolutely, I didn't understand the depth and genuine nature of the psychology behind this idea until recently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Since our divorce, I have read many articles and books. I have visited and still visit with a counselor, leaders in my faith, friends, colleagues, parents, siblings, you name it. I remember attending a court-ordered session (mentioned in my <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3464823100504040171#editor/target=post;postID=8045879426218766679;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=9;src=postname" target="_blank">previous blog post</a>) discussing the soon-to-be dynamics of our family. After we went, Adam and I had a heart-felt conversation that we wanted our divorce to be different. I recognize this is not unique to us - a lot of divorcing couples feel the same way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In the article: <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2019/03/18/gwyneth-paltrow-hoped-reinvent-divorce-chris-martin/3206058002/" target="_blank">Gwyneth Paltrow Hoped to Reinvent Divorc</a><a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2019/03/18/gwyneth-paltrow-hoped-reinvent-divorce-chris-martin/3206058002/" target="_blank">e with Chris Martin</a>, by USA Today contributor Susan Haas, Paltrow said, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #303030;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"I just thought, 'I wonder if there's a way to circumvent that [meaning the ugliness that comes with divorce sometimes] and just go directly to the point where we're friends.' We're family, that's it," she said. "We can pretend we're not, and hate each other ... or, let's try to reinvent this for ourselves."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #303030; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;">In the article: <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/22/the-breakup-guru-who-invented-conscious-uncoupling-i-understand-the-backlash#:~:text=Health%20%26%20wellbeing-,The%20breakup%20guru%20who%20%E2%80%8Binvented,%3A%20'I%20understand%20the%20backlash'&text=For%20someone%20who%20has,idea%20of%20a%20lifelong%20union." target="_blank">The breakup guru who invented unconscious coupling: I understand the backlash</a> by Emine Saner, Katherine Woodward Thomas explains that she and her former husband both had parents who experienced traumatic divorces, and didn't want their daughter to have the same experience because they remember it being so painful for everyone.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #121212;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“We aligned on an intention together to make sure our daughter could still have a happy childhood,” says Woodward Thomas. “<b>That intention kept calling us to rise to be the bigger person, to take the high road at every turn</b>. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #121212;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">He started a culture between us of generosity and cooperation. When we’re married, we understand the need to put money in the emotional bank account by being nice to each other, doing thoughtful things for each other, not badmouthing each other, but I think when we divorce we forget that if we have children, <b>we’re still going to be a family. You have to build your new [post-divorce] family</b>.”</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wKM2VprcptM/XvEtlCOJA2I/AAAAAAAADxo/I4vtAld84pYDSDS41nO-sHK01_WtV9BWgCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/kindness-2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="430" data-original-width="358" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wKM2VprcptM/XvEtlCOJA2I/AAAAAAAADxo/I4vtAld84pYDSDS41nO-sHK01_WtV9BWgCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/kindness-2.png" width="266" /></a><span style="color: #121212; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">Since November, Adam and I have had discussions about these ideas. I don't want to speak for him, but I knew I wanted to create the kind of relationship that we could be proud of, and our conversations illuminated that this is something he wants too. </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #121212; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have had to take comments, advice, etc., with a grain of salt. I am part of conversations where some have said: "shouldn't you be doing XYZ?" or "well, when I went through mine, we did this, so you should do this" or "don't do XYZ." </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #121212; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">While people have good intentions, we decided that <b>every divorce is different</b> and that we were going to do our best to create the kind of cordial, amiable, kind environment we can so our kids can see that we can rise above it. I also recognize this doesn't work for everyone....and that is OK too.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #121212; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">As we have tried to do what is best for the kids, there is no doubt that we have had some highs and lows, some things that work and some things that don't work. We are still navigating hurt and pain individually and sometimes that shows up in our interactions in front of the kids. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #121212; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;">For now, I am grateful and honored to have a co-parent who is willing to try to have this kind of relationship centered around kindness.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7jBrAhRmMkk/XvEteGcdqcI/AAAAAAAADxk/GM3L_JiG_RQsBOe66mAusUQ0VDW8-HWoACNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/kindness.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="321" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7jBrAhRmMkk/XvEteGcdqcI/AAAAAAAADxk/GM3L_JiG_RQsBOe66mAusUQ0VDW8-HWoACNcBGAsYHQ/s320/kindness.png" width="280" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #121212; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-variant-ligatures: common-ligatures;"><br /></span></span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-88245312556201530512020-06-17T12:34:00.001-07:002021-07-15T15:55:46.940-07:00I Wrote My Senators<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif">My last post talked about this idea of not staying silent, of joining my brother and sisters of color. Since then, I have engaged in more reading, listening and discussion so I can understand the issues and develop my own opinion on what is happening and what I feel needs to happen for social justice and racial injustices.</span><br />
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif">I am sure not all of you will agree with what I said, but I am proud that I was able to stand up, finally. Here is the letter I sent to my Senators, of which one has already responded. I encourage you to really dig into what you want to see for our country and write your <a href="https://www.usa.gov/elected-officials" target="_blank">legislators</a>.</span><br />
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>Dear Senator Mitt Romney:<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>First, thank you for your recent walk during the protest. I
appreciate your leadership and guidance during this crucial time.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>Second, thank you for giving me the opportunity to email you
about my concerns with all the turmoil that is happening in our country. From
what I understand, the Congress are convening and discussing the
recent tensions around race, equality, and social justice, and looking to craft
police reform – as well as consider systemic and economic structures that
support racial equality.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>I am not affiliated with the organization Join Campaign
Zero, but feel they have developed policy solutions, which have been informed
by data, research and human rights principles <b>that will change the way police
serve our communities.</b> I feel the campaign is fair and equitable, as it
integrates recommendations from communities, research organizations, and the
President’s Task Force on 21<sup>st</sup> Century Policing.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>The campaign can be viewed at: <a href="https://www.joincampaignzero.org/solutions#solutionsoverview">https://www.joincampaignzero.org/solutions#solutionsoverview</a>,
and includes sections on:</i></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">End broken windows (minor crimes) over-policing</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Community oversight</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Limit use of force</span></i></li>
<ul>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Including training for skills of cultural
competence, using alternative weapons to detain, standards of reporting those
who use deadly force</span></i></li>
</ul>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Independent investigations and prosecutions</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Community representation</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Right to record police (not sure I agree with
all that is said here, but the approach is sound)</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Training</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">End for-profit policing</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Demilitarization</span></i></li>
<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Fair police contracts</span></i></li>
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<li><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Including financial accountability for officers
to be paid administrative during investigations, suspension, etc.</span></i></li>
</ul>
</ul>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>I urge you, as member of the Senate to sustain policies that
ensure that Americans have the “right to live freely with dignity and respect
and without the threat of violence or repression,” President Barack Obama.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<b><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>I am sure this goes without saying, but a lot of what we
are seeing is more than police brutality. <o:p></o:p></i></span></b></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>In the article <a href="https://www.greenvilleonline.com/story/opinion/2017/11/24/level-economic-playing-field-african-americans/842594001/" target="_blank">Level the Economic Playing Field for African Americans</a>, Travis Morris writes:<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>“For blacks, there are still disparities in educational
access, employment and unemployment rates, job promotions, lack of competitive
pay compared to whites and employer-provided benefits such as health care and
retirement savings programs. Nowhere is an unlevel playing field more apparent
than in wealth accumulation between blacks and whites.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>According to a recent study, “The Racial Wealth Gap: Why
Policy Matters,” a typical black household has 6% of the wealth of a typical
white household. The median white household has $111,145 in wealth holdings,
compared to $7,113 for the median black household. A typical white family owns
$15.63 for every $1 owned by a typical Black family, What accounts for such a
disparity?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>While I am not prepared to speak to the validity of the
data, I can say that in order to determine what needs to happen next for our
society, we need to re-evaluate the systematic and economic structures that may
prevent success for black people.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>I encourage you to support and sustain policies that promote
racial justice, and re-evaluate providing equal opportunities for:<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<li><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Education</i></span></li>
<li><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Healthcare</i></span></li>
<li><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Fair wages</i></span></li>
<li><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Employer-provided benefits, including healthcare
and retirement</i></span></li>
</ul>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>I am told that perhaps the only way this will happen is if
we <b>restructure our tax arrangements</b>. If that is what it takes to create
equal opportunity, <b>I am willing to pay</b>.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>Thank you for your consideration of these critical issues
that have existed for far too long.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif"><i>Sincerely,</i></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /><span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif"></span></span><br />
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<span face="Trebuchet MS, sans-serif" style="color: #3d85c6;"><i>Lindsey Blau</i></span></div>
Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-37751974476602264512020-06-05T09:18:00.002-07:002020-06-05T09:18:36.009-07:00I Stand: We are ALL God's children<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today, during a <a href="https://nacada.ksu.edu/Community/Advising-Communities/Academic-Coaching/Spotlight-Series.aspx" target="_blank">NACADA</a> (Global Community for Academic Advising) spotlight webinar, we were asked by the moderator to give a moment of silence for <a href="https://live959.com/8-minutes-and-46-seconds-of-silence-planned-for-this-afternoon/" target="_blank">8 minutes and 46 seconds</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And then, I unraveled. I bowed my head and prayed. Prayed to understand. Prayed to know what to do, what to say. Prayed for my brothers and sisters in this world. Prayed for my students. Prayed for our nation. Prayed for our leaders. Prayed for our state and local governments. Prayed for our children. Prayed for the prophet. Prayed for other religious organizations. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I may not ever understand the weight that has been felt. I may not understand the anger, frustration, oppression, or depth of sorrow. But, I want to learn. How are you feeling? What does a day look like for you? How are you so confident and strong? You are the experts of your experience and it is time for us to listen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://medium.com/@tiffanydockery/please-stop-just-checking-in-on-your-black-co-workers-d531f8d670a6" target="_blank">I read a great article </a>giving tips about how to reach out to people of color at this time. I particularly appreciate that I have been invited to take a stand. The article suggests that doing something is better than doing nothing. Sometimes I am afraid I am not doing the 'right thing' so I shy away from it. I haven't been one to be very vocal about certain topics. Mostly because I was scared of what others would think about me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">How silly is that? Me, scared to voice my deep concern because of what people would think of me, or whether a company would hire me, or if a person would want to date me? Nope, not anymore. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And so, I take to writing this now. I STAND WITH YOU. I will also reach out to my legislators and will be more proactive in engaging in this conversation. In the meantime, here are some things that have touched my heart and express far better than I can, how I am feeling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>From the Prophet, President Russell M. Nelson (<a href="https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/president-nelson-shares-social-post-encouraging-understanding-and-civility" target="_blank">read the full post here)</a>:</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We join with many throughout this nation and around the
world who are deeply saddened at recent evidences of racism and a blatant
disregard for human life. We abhor the reality that some would deny others
respect and the most basic of freedoms because of the color of his or her skin.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We are also saddened when these assaults on human dignity
lead to escalating violence and unrest.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>The Creator of us all calls on each of us to abandon
attitudes of prejudice against any group of God’s children.</b></span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>During the Savior’s earthly mission, He constantly
ministered to those who were excluded, marginalized, judged, overlooked,
abused, and discounted. As His followers, can we do anything less? The answer
is no! <b>We believe in freedom, kindness, and fairness for all of God’s children!</b><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Let us be clear. We are brothers and sisters, each of us the
child of a loving Father in Heaven. His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, invites all
to come unto Him—“black and white, bond and free, male and female,” (2 Nephi
26:33). </i></span><b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>It behooves each of us to do whatever we can in our spheres of
influence to preserve the dignity and respect every son and daughter of God
deserves.</i></span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Here is one of my favorite YouTube videos that give me hope and courage to do the right thing:</b></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FKoM099kAWU/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/FKoM099kAWU?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>A beautiful painting that represents how I feel (by artist <a href="https://www.instagram.com/dianapedott/?igshid=1b063okw7h3rz&fbclid=IwAR2iKdKBOTApaqErI1ESEojXkL9LV13RuDmJ5SqwYrAGIidbbPmeGaTpx5s" target="_blank">Diana Pedott</a>):</b></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YfRU4xhATrc/Xtpr-do8JfI/AAAAAAAADl8/dV32w_MXZNI-sUm5NHCjXHiDIASyDtS3wCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Black%2Band%2Bwhite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="774" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YfRU4xhATrc/Xtpr-do8JfI/AAAAAAAADl8/dV32w_MXZNI-sUm5NHCjXHiDIASyDtS3wCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/Black%2Band%2Bwhite.jpg" width="258" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://youtu.be/CdFCRHhygHo" target="_blank">This video</a> also helped me understand something I hadn't thought about before. I am grateful for its educational intent and the discourse it can create:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CdFCRHhygHo/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CdFCRHhygHo?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I realized a while ago that advocacy and political involvement can go a long way, even if it is small. I know that if I want to see social change, I need to know what I am asking for, and be more specific about recommendations and thoughts. Here are some great articles that talk about the 'why' behind contacting state and local representatives.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Even though <a href="https://awionline.org/content/how-communicate-effectively-legislators" target="_blank">this article talks</a> about animal welfare, I found it is one of the best, talking about what contacting legislators will do and how it operates when standing up for human rights.<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.congressionalinstitute.org/contact-congress/" target="_blank">Contacting Congress Information</a><br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Some great information about </span><a href="https://standagainstracism.org/take-action/" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;" target="_blank">standing against racism</a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> from the YWCA.<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.standup4humanrights.org/en/index.html" target="_blank">Stand up for Human Rights</a> (UN for Human Rights initiative)</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I love you all and stand with you to end these abuses.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#loveoneanother</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">#blacklivesmatter #istandwithyou #fightracismresponsibly #standupforhumanrights #stoptheviolence</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-54503719663197808392020-02-13T15:54:00.000-08:002020-02-14T07:51:10.682-08:00I thought I hated mornings then: Chaos of mornings as a parent<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sha5qJY7Bj4/XkbBtmy5h5I/AAAAAAAADWk/dzi44Q00_agABk5dkMq8wJq8Ergp_AOBgCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/mornings.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="500" height="224" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sha5qJY7Bj4/XkbBtmy5h5I/AAAAAAAADWk/dzi44Q00_agABk5dkMq8wJq8Ergp_AOBgCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/mornings.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I battle guilt of not being a good mom. I battle guilt for leaving my kids at daycare. I battle guilt for not feeling guilty about LOVING work and working 8-5. I battle guilt when I lose patience with my kids. I battle guilt when I think my choices have impacted someone else. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I battle guilt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">While I have wonderful people in my life to remind me how I shouldn't feel this way, which I appreciate, I know that I need to fight this in my timing. It won't be an easy fix for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am currently taking a parenting class so I can understand how to be a better parent. My hope is to learn about behavior and what behavior's are typical during every year of a child's life. My hope is to gain insights into a child's mind since I have felt old for a very, very long time. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My hope is to be better as a result of my knowledge.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For the past 2 weeks, as homework, I was supposed to observe how my environment might have an impact on the behavior of my children. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Perhaps I was given this VERY BAD 2 WEEKS so I could more clearly observe. ("What a gift," she says sarcastically.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our daycare provider graciously offered to open 30 minutes earlier to accommodate my schedule and needs. This means, we are up before the sun to start getting ready for our day. Over the course of time, I have learned what works for my kids in terms of our morning routine to get out the door and arrive on time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Well, I thought I knew....until these past two weeks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">To be totally un-PC: My sweet 1 1/2 year old decided he was 2 this week. My 3 year old decided he was also 2 this week.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>My Morning Story</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As soon as I enter my 1 1/2 year old's room, he starts screaming "No", and then incessantly</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> screams until I drop him off at daycare. I often greet him warmly, as I always have. But this week....it didn't matter what I did. He shoves himself in the corner of his pack 'n' play (I had to get rid of the crib because he kept flinging himself from it) and knocks his head on the wall and bangs his fists. He also kicks me when he has the chance.<br /><br />Here are steps I take to try to navigate this behavior:</span><br />
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Give him space</b>: Perhaps I am rushing him, or he wants to wake up on his own. So, I try this, and it makes him more frustrated.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Don't give him space</b>: Perhaps he resents me from the day before when all I could do after daycare pickup was prepare his dinner and put him to bed. Maybe he has leftover anger and he wants alone time with me. So, I give him more love and coo and love on him. This also makes him more frustrated.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>More sleep</b>: Perhaps he isn't sleeping long enough. So, I put him to bed earlier. Still, the mood has not changed.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Less sleep</b>: Maybe he doesn't need more sleep. So, I wait one night for 1/2 hour, then the next night for an hour before putting him to sleep. NOPE.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Sick or teething</b>: Perhaps he is teething.....This is my go to for misbehavior in toddlers. But is every behavioral issue about teething or being sick?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Hunger</b>: Nope. Let's just say his bed is a mess from that one time I tried giving him food to calm him down.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Thirst</b>: I let him sleep with water now.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Temperature</b>: I just had a fan installed that constantly runs because my boys sleep hot.</span></li>
<li><b style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Jesus</b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">: Maybe if I pray to understand what he needs, some crazy wacky idea will come that is obviously from Heaven, because as a mere mortal I can't think of it myself. Still waiting to hear back from the big guy.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">That about sums up every morning this week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The 3 year old </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I know ownership is really important to this age group, so a while back, Dean and I would rehearse our morning routine right before he went to sleep as a way for him to set up his morning. Perhaps he forgets or something, because NOTHING goes the way he owned the night before. If anything, he often cries and shouts at me even after I give him something (within reason) that he is demanding of me. He also kicks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We have had 'incidents' in the past where we have had to pull over to go to the bathroom, missed the bathroom, and everything revolving around not going to the bathroom before we leave our house. It has been dramatic for him, not to mention me. So, the number one (ha, get it) thing I have tried to instill and something that he has taken ownership before in the past is <b>TRYING </b>to go to the bathroom. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><i>TANGENT:</i></b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So, in my class I just learned that 3 year old's forget easily because that part of their brain is still developing. Answer me this: how is it that my 3 year old can't remember that he said he was going to go to the bathroom, but can remember the time I said I was going to make cookies like 2 weeks ago?</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Anyway, he has been able to go to the bathroom EVERY time. But is insistent that if he tries and can't, that he is Scott free. This is where it gets hard. I know he has to, but he - for some reason - does not want to. With force and lots of loud words, he finally decides to go to the bathroom. I have yet to hear a stream that lasts less than 1 minute (that means he has a lot of pee in there).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then the following battle ensues:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Me</b>: Do you want to use the green or red soap? (Because when I give him choice over which soap to use, the argument ISN'T about whether he should wash his hands or not).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Dean</b>: (He has caught onto this trick and says,) "I don't want to wash my hands!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then we argue about germs and illness and I can't seem to convince him, so more loud words come out of my mouth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>By the time I get in the car, I am angry, my kids are angry - and you know what, IT SUCKS!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I already hated mornings, and now.....hate isn't a strong enough word.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>BUT THEN</b> (Because every bad story requires a moral of the story, right)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I posted my grief on Facebook so I wouldn't feel so bad about me, myself, my parenting, my value....because I was feeling defeated. I asked my friends with pets and/or children to tell me about how their mornings went.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And, luckily, my amazing Facebook community helped me realize I wasn't alone. And you know....it feels good not to feel alone, because that is something else I feel a lot of.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">One response said, "CHAOS." A perfect response.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Deanna A. Thompson, author of <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Glimpsing-Resurrection-Cancer-Trauma-Ministry/dp/0664262767" target="_blank">Glimpsing Resurrection: Cancer, Trauma, and Ministry</a></i> tells of a cancer story by J. Todd Billings, who said, "Even though [Billings] story constantly courts anomie [lack of usual social or ethical standards], Billings finds comfort in trusting that a nomos exists within God's story. Even when he cannot himself grasp it, he trusts it is there." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>My takeaway is even though my story right now is *CHAOS*, I can find comfort in knowing that God's story isn't. </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>That is what has sustained me today. I am hoping it will sustain me tomorrow.</b></span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-80458794262187666792019-12-03T21:18:00.001-08:002020-03-09T10:42:03.066-07:00Becoming: Am I Ruining My Kids Because of My Choices?<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Your kids have the same access to the Atonement that you do."</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FJg2s-0cjRU/Xec-A4T8bVI/AAAAAAAADKU/COLSoJO8898ggTaHZJeJNAgOICetzkEmgCNcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Christ-2-lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FJg2s-0cjRU/Xec-A4T8bVI/AAAAAAAADKU/COLSoJO8898ggTaHZJeJNAgOICetzkEmgCNcBGAsYHQ/s320/Christ-2-lg.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I sat in the office of a dear friend who just listened to the latest on my divorce. I had just attended the court-ordered family class discussing the steps I should take to eliminate trauma for our children as much as possible. There were 12 steps introduced by an amazing instructor that followed the concepts and practices of love and logic. I loved the class and was exhilarated by learning more tips on how to help our kids process this decision. Then, I was hit over the head with an immense feeling of guilt that led to a more intense feeling of shame.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The number 1 rule was around eliminating/mitigating as much change as possible from our lives. At the time of this instruction, I was offered a job in Utah (I lived in Idaho at the time) and was also filing for full custody. I remember distinctly the instructor saying that even changing wall colors could be detrimental to the kids, and here I was....making the decision to uproot our little family, new walls, new people, new church, new routine, new family dynamic, new....EVERYTHING.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The reality of my choices came crashing down on me. I couldn't get through a sentence without crying. I even remember thinking, "Maybe they will let me keep my old job. They haven't started the hiring process yet." It would have been easy, and the kids would have access to their dad, which is also what I wanted. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The voice inside me kept saying, "I am ruining my kids, and they will be forever traumatized because of me." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I shared my thoughts with others, not necessarily seeking sympathy, but more because I am not very good at hiding my feelings and also see the value in sharing truth. I had several who helped me remember several things:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Remember the original witness:</b> Over the course of planning to move, I didn't get a triumphant feeling that "YES!! THIS IS THE DECISION YOU NEED TO MAKE," but everything lined up - a clear sign that I was headed in the right direction. As more and more chaos ensued, it got harder and harder to remember the original witness. Similarly, I also had to remember how I came to the decision to not carry on in my marital relationship.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>God will never interfere with my agency</b>: During this experience, I became more aware of Heavenly Father's love for me particularly as I struggled through making the decision to go through with the divorce in the first place. How grateful I am to know that Heavenly Father cares about my agency so much that even when I am in the most painful space, He will not stop my progression by interfering.<b><br /></b></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>The Atonement is for everyone</b>: In the moment, it was as if I was hearing this for the very first time. Even if I changed everything, even down to the color of the walls, I have to believe in the Atonement and my kids ability to reach out to the Savior in their trauma. This moment was beautiful for me. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The one thing I felt I could control in all the scenarios that played out in my mind over and over is helping my kids know that they can turn to the Savior for strength - like I am trying to do. I am still working through this, but here are some thoughts:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I can be vulnerable</b>. Every time my kids see me cry, or if I am struggling with the divorce or choice to move, try to share with them (as much as a 3 year old and a 1 year old can understand) where I go to find strength. This will also help me make sure I am turning to the right place. I can share with them how I feel my relationship with the Savior is helping me through this.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>I can be sincere about my feelings for their dad.</b> I will always love their dad. Even though things didn't work between us, there is no reason to disparage him or cut him out of our lives. I shouldn't feel guilt for wanting great things for him and great things for them through him. I can still pray for him. I can still hope for him. I can still empathize with him. I can teach them about forgiveness, repentance, compassion and kindness.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am so grateful to have been surrounded by my earthly angels at this crucial time in my process of "becoming". I am comforted knowing that even though God will not interfere with my agency, that His plan includes allowing my path to cross with other sons and daughters of God who have been so very instrumental in my development and growth. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This journey, while quick and fast, has not been easy. I still have a lot to work through. But one thing in sure, as read in Philippians 4:13</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="verse-number">"</span>I can do all things through <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note13a"><sup class="marker">a</sup>Christ</a> which <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note13b"><sup class="marker">b</sup>strengtheneth</a> me."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Here are some scriptures that have helped me come to some of these conclusions:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/6?lang=eng" target="_blank">Doctrine and Covenants 6:21-23 </a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="verse-number">21 </span>Behold, I am Jesus Christ, the <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note21a"><sup class="marker">a</sup>Son of God</a>. I am the same that came unto mine <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note21b"><sup class="marker">b</sup>own</a>, and mine own received me not. I am the <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note21c"><sup class="marker">c</sup>light</a> which shineth in <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note21d"><sup class="marker">d</sup>darkness</a>, and the darkness comprehendeth it not.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="verse-number">22 </span>Verily,
verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind
upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note22a"><sup class="marker">a</sup>know</a> concerning the truth of these things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span class="verse-number">23 </span>Did I not speak <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note23a"><sup class="marker">a</sup>peace</a> to your mind concerning the matter? What greater <a class="study-note-ref" href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/#note23b"><sup class="marker">b</sup>witness</a> can you have than from God?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-3-freedom-of-choice-an-eternal-principle?lang=eng" target="_blank">Freedom of Choice; an Eternal Principle: Ezra Taft Benson</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Freedom of choice is a God-given eternal principle. The great plan of
liberty is the plan of the gospel. There is no coercion about it; no
force, no intimidation. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-24994296869519961612018-08-17T16:00:00.000-07:002018-08-20T10:50:18.158-07:00Confidence Check: Being Confident in Not Being Bubbly<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I work with students who often question their capacity to have a certain characteristic/personality trait. It is easy to think we lack or possess certain characteristics that might be a classification of Mormon culture. For example, when I was single, I dated some introverts. They often described the church as being an 'extroverted' church, and felt that they didn't have a place to be introverted. This mean they tried all the could to become extroverted in some ways in order to appease the culture - and really, they were unhappy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I might add too that, it isn't the church that is extroverted, it is the culture. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">During one of our council meetings in Relief Society, we talked about ministering and its difference to the visiting teaching program. I found it interesting that our conversation turned from the higher meaning of creating true genuine friendships into 'the how-to's of ministering,' which seemed to portray the 'check off the box' and (potentially frightening extroverted) approach we are trying to get away from. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I couldn't help but think of my introverted sisters, who have a gift of honing strong bonds, yes....but whose approach is so very different. All the 'how to's' that we kept escaping to seemed to go against all of the approaches that this group would use to cultivate true relational experiences.</span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w8L9O2OvEtI/W3r_QRsImuI/AAAAAAAAC1Q/6eZJLHHUuJ8bg5WaBy_SCPLRTNaBYvLBQCLcBGAs/s1600/quotes-about-being-yourself-1%2B%25281%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="926" height="186" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-w8L9O2OvEtI/W3r_QRsImuI/AAAAAAAAC1Q/6eZJLHHUuJ8bg5WaBy_SCPLRTNaBYvLBQCLcBGAs/s400/quotes-about-being-yourself-1%2B%25281%2529.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Today, my friend shared this quote from Pat Holland (speaking in the third person), wife of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the church, which I find profound and beautiful - not just as it relates to the situation above, but to any of us who find ourselves in situations where we aren't being our true self. I made some highlights of areas that stuck out to me:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>"For many years I tried to measure the ofttimes quiet, reflective, thoughtful Pat Holland against the robust, bubbly, talkative, and energetic Jeff Holland and others with like qualities. I have learned through several fatiguing failures th<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">at <b>you can’t have joy in being bubbly if you are not a bubbly person</b>. <b>It is a contradiction in terms</b>. I have given up seeing myself as a flawed person because my energy level is lower than Jeff’s, and I don’t talk as much as he does, nor as fast. <b>Giving this up has freed me to embrace and rejoice in my own manner and personality in the measure of my creation</b>. Ironically, that has allowed me to admire and enjoy Jeff’s ebullience even more.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Somewhere, somehow the Lord “blipped the message onto my screen” <b>that my personality was created to fit precisely the mission and talents he gave me</b>. For example, the quieter, calmer talent of playing the piano reveals much about the real Pat Holland. I would never have learned to play the piano if I hadn’t enjoyed the long hours of solitude required for its development. This same principle applies to my love of writing, reading, meditation, and especially teaching and talking with my children. Miraculously, I have found that I have untold abundant sources of energy to be myself. But the moment I indulge in imitation of my neighbor, I feel fractured and fatigued and find myself forever swimming upstream. <b>When we frustrate God’s plan for us, we deprive this world and God’s kingdom of our unique contributions, and a serious schism settles in our soul</b>. God never gave us any task beyond our ability to accomplish it. We just have to be willing to do it our own way. We will always have enough resources for being who we are and what we can become. (LDS Women’s Treasury: Insights and Inspiration for Today’s Woman, p.98)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As a follow up, I do not think this means that we shouldn't try to improve by learning other characteristics. For example, I am not a very meek person, but know this is a quality and strength that I would like (and really need) to gain. If there are areas that you want to strengthen, absolutely seek guidance in strengthening those areas....even if you choose to be more bubbly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On a separate note, I also discovered something beautiful in the wisdom of learning how to do this thing called marriage. Here is a poem to demonstrate my thoughts.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="head1" style="color: #2a2122; font-weight: bold; line-height: 32px;"><a href="http://www.katsandogz.com/onmarriage.html" target="_blank">On Marriage</a></span></span></span></h3>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Kahlil Gibran</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.<br />You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.<br />Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.<br />But let there be spaces in your togetherness,<br />And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.<br /><br />Love one another, but make not a bond of love:<br />Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.<br />Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.<br />Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf<br />Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,<br />Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.<br /><br />Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.<br />For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.<br />And stand together yet not too near together:<br />For the pillars of the temple stand apart,<br />And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.</span></span></div>
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Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-10469229192997825552018-08-08T08:19:00.000-07:002018-08-08T08:22:11.298-07:00God is Bound to Our Choice: When God Doesn't Answer<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g3F-RwThzRQ/W2sKXUxG6QI/AAAAAAAAC08/0ppqVx5tEMQJAs73yhOeUYiwMjwlRHrtwCLcBGAs/s1600/brigham-young.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1372" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g3F-RwThzRQ/W2sKXUxG6QI/AAAAAAAAC08/0ppqVx5tEMQJAs73yhOeUYiwMjwlRHrtwCLcBGAs/s320/brigham-young.jpg" width="274" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I had two experiences in the last several days where I was delighted to pull out this quote from Brigham Young. Those of you who know me, know that I rarely receive direct guidance from the Lord saying - YES, go that way. The Lord speaks to me in very personal and specifically designed ways that are very sacred to me. I truly believe part of my learning and growth on this earth is to learn to appreciate agency. I am not one of those that likes options when it comes to life-changing decisions. I don't mind agency for other things, but those moments between good, better, and best....nope, not a fan.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I remember needing to make a very life-altering decision a couple years ago, but not knowing how it would play out, how I should plan for it, and what that would do to the circumstances of my little family. To say it was a test of my faith is an understatement. I spoke with one of my best friends, who is very inspired who directed me to this quote from Brigham Young: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>“If I do not know the will of my Father, and what He requires of me in a certain transaction, if I ask Him to give me wisdom concerning any requirement in my life, or in regard to my own course, or that of my friends, my family, my children, or those that I preside over, and get no answer from Him, and then do the very best that my judgement will teach me, He is bound to own and honor that transaction, and He will do so to all intents and purposes.”</i></span></h1>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">― </span><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/575321.Brigham_Young" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration-line: none;">Brigham Young</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818;">, </span><span id="quote_book_link_2884005" style="background-color: white; color: #181818;"><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/2688101" style="color: #333333; font-weight: bold; text-decoration-line: none;">Journal of Discourses, Volume 3</a></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am grateful to a Heavenly Father who respects my agency so much that He will bind Himself to my decisions, after I have done the work and preparation to make a decision. I know that if I am living my life right, that this blessing of support will not be denied from a loving Heavenly Father.</span></div>
Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-52847371673467854072018-07-31T10:28:00.004-07:002018-07-31T10:29:08.510-07:00My dad<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Family History Prompt this time was to talk about my dad. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My dad....where do I even start? This could be a long post, but I will stay brief to those things that I remember the most...the things that rocked me and helped me become the person I am today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Kisses and Love</b>: I have photos of my dad loving me...and I love it! By love I mean, kisses, hugs, laughter, and gaze. There is no refuting the photos - he loved us kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I see my current sweetheart and the love he has for his children...and this was the way my dad loved me. He would kiss, hug, tickle - in a very appropriate way, as a loving father would. I remember watching him father his infant and toddler children - and he loved this phase of parenting. Well, infant parenting, maybe a little less, but he was responsible and helped where he could with the infants. With toddlers, he would laugh, play, and cuddle. He was always wary of allowing toddlers too much freedom, but loved when they discovered or came up with new ways of doing things. He didn't talk much, but watched them in this freedom. When he did talk to them/me, it would always be to try to get them to laugh. He would back away from them, start 'aahing' and come closer until he could surprise them, or tickle them into laughing. That is when I would hearing him genuinely laugh. Growing up, I didn't hear my dad laugh too frequently, but he would always laugh at a toddler's laughter....and that was a treat.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Seeing my dad as a grandpa has been so beautiful. He loves on my infant whenever he can. He helps when Baby #2 is screaming, and puts him in what I call "the magic hold" that only good grandpas know how to do. Tucked in next to his belly and under his armpit. The babies get so cozy, they fall asleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>Parent Versus Friend: Understanding His Purpose in Life</b>: In my teenage years, I remember my dad saying, "I am not here to love you, I am here to be your dad." At the time, I believe we were arguing and my go to was "But, don't you love me." At first, his comment stung. It hurt for many years, even after we resolved that particular conflict. In my youth, I couldn't recognize that what he was trying to do was offer his guidance by controlling the particular outcome - which was probably foolish for me at the time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">As I have grown, changed, and become a mother, I have truly evaluated this moment that I remember so distinctly. Did it mean he didn't love me....of course not. What he was trying to do was teach me (even if his teaching could be viewed as flawed) the value of why he is here on earth. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In my moments of parenting, a child doesn't get what they want, but what they need. My dad understands and understood that concept very well. He is very aware of his spiritual capacities and his responsibility toward raising a family in this Plan of Salvation. He has never questioned this part of his identity and has never waned from what could be a debilitating responsibility. He has taken it head-on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">While I am not sure of the intimate spiritual connecting he has to Jesus Christ because he doesn't share this with us too much (most likely he keeps that sacred), I AM sure that he has a channel with Him - just because my dad IS so steady, so immovable in his testimony...and always has been</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I feel like I could have a full blog about my dad, but I will stop at these two memories and will continue as time allows.</span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-4185321655839937922018-06-21T14:13:00.002-07:002018-07-31T10:04:59.362-07:00My Name<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Question: What inspired your name? Were you named after anyone in particular?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Answer: My parents are movie people. I get my amazing taste in movies from them. As such, I am named after an actress. Not necessarily because they think she was the most amazing actress of her day, but because when they watched the show, they liked the name of both the actress and the character she played. I am named after Lindsay Wagner when she played a character named Jaime Summers in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0905993/" target="_blank">Bionic Showdown: The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman</a>, my sister's name. My parents decided to change the spelling of both names.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My middle name comes from my grandma Connie Rae Searle/Burton, whom I have never met. I cherish this name the most, and can't seem to part with it. There are varying feelings about what happened the day my grandma passed away when my mom was 9 - a lot of hurt, a lot of questions, a lot of 'what ifs' or 'if only's'. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This isn't my history with Connie. My history is knowing about an amazing woman through the eyes of my 9-year old mom. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I recently started watching our family movies, and had a chance to watch as grandma danced the percolator, giggling and laughing. Then it cuts to a scene at the beach with all the kids running around and grandma smiling and laughing. That is the woman my mom remembers. My mom also recalled how her mom would let them do 'experiments' in the kitchen. Messes were no matter. My mom said, "Mom loved being a mom and wanted her kids to experience everything they could, and to be kids....she was never really allowed to be a kid growing up."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I still get to hear little pieces of my grandma's history. I remember first hearing about her intentional drug overdose and not really understanding. I was so young but remember hearing the word 'suicide'. With my limited understanding, I made judgements and only equated her life with the memory of her unfortunate death - which was 'bad'. I don't recall exactly the moment where this woman became my hero. Perhaps it was in my sad moments and finally being able to concretely empathize with people who have a constant sadness...because I felt it. Perhaps it was when I attended a funeral of a friend who took their life. Perhaps it was when I heard a beautiful conference talk addressing similar matters and other matters of the sad heart. All I know - my tune has changed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Regardless, I have come to so thoroughly love this woman I have never met, and feel like the memory of her life is not tragic, but complicated and beautiful. Stories of her life have allowed me to comprehend and recognize people for the good they bring to the world. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Perhaps this is a sugar-coated view of what could be viewed as true tragedy, but - in quoting from Smallville (my current Hulu-binge) - "I prefer to seek the good in people." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And that is why my middle name stays, and why it will also be the namesake for my first little girl. The hope is that she too will be able to carry this on, if she chooses.</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-41196667255503309542018-01-23T08:12:00.001-08:002018-06-21T14:15:34.290-07:00Rain in the Desert: a Memory<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The smell of water on unadulterated dirt - seeping in and pouring out a fresh scent of life. The temperature changing 10 degrees cooler. The wind rustling sage bushes, swirling around trying to catch anything, but there wasn't anything to catch, so it swirled to and fro.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My family and I sit on our back porch, drinking peach shakes. Lighting strikes, and audible ooh's and aah's echo in the wind. Some come quick like the sound of a firework, others fade and rumble ever so slightly over 2-3 minutes. Sometimes the storm lasts for a couple hours. More often, it comes and goes, leaving a fresh scent of newly watered earth.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There was always a certain silence after a storm. Sometimes we sat and enjoyed it as we licked the remnants of our shakes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I heard once that our memories can start to combine, and the truth of the moment shifts over time. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When speaking to my siblings, they each remember those times as vividly as I do, except the youngest. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My memory of these storms and our family time together has certainly altered. Yet, the description of the events hold true. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In my recollection, I know that we didn't sit outside for every storm.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In this way, I am grateful for my memory; for the fact that all the storms combined, because I will cherish them forever.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now I am married and have a baby. Trying to instill this excitement in my sweetheart has been hard to do, because his memories of a storm are very different than mine. When I see thunder clouds coming in, I check my freezer for vanilla bean ice cream and my refrigerator and pantry for peaches, any peaches, so we can relive those moments.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I open all the blinds and pray that one day I will have a porch to sit on where I can watch as we did when I was younger. We don't get very many thunder and lightning storms in Idaho, but when we do, I have relished them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I still ooh and aah. The hope is that my son will be able to create those memories with me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It is truly amazing what the mind and memories can do for the present. If only I could bring those times back and relive them. It seems we are constantly busy....too busy to enjoy these small moments in time. And so I will strive to bring this small little joy to my family and hope that one day, they will have a similar memory.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But if not, helping them create a memory of their very own that reminds them of rain will suffice.</span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-9936293513558050332017-09-07T21:54:00.000-07:002017-09-07T21:54:25.515-07:00We Can Finish Hard Things<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/church/leader/lynn-g-robbins?lang=eng" target="_blank">Elder Lynn G. Robbins</a> addressed employees at BYU-Idaho yesterday. I was inspired and grateful for the message he shared. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">There is a
significant trend in higher education, and in other post-high school
opportunities, showing remarkable and growing drop out rates. In addition, many institutions are also seeing a rise in mental illness, particularly fear of failure/anxiety.</span> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Elder Robbins focused on the Christ-like virtue of resilience. Some refer to this as 'grit,' or the ability to bounce back. We watched this awesome <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H14bBuluwB8" target="_blank">TED talk <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">by</span> Angelee Duckworth </a>that started the conversation.</span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/H14bBuluwB8" width="560"></iframe>
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</ul>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Following the clip, </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">h</span>e posed several questions, including:</span></span> </span><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">How can we, as teachers/ those who support students, stress the importance of giving something new a chance, or something old another chance?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">How can we teach them about follow through on commitments and the joy this integrity brings?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">How can we separate the behavior from the person, so we can truly minister with no barriers?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">He said that often we hear the popular phrase, <b>you can do hard things.</b> He thinks this is a great phrase. However, in this idea of resilience and grit, he suggests that we need to encourage others that they can <b>finish </b>hard things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">He then shared the following paraphrased story: <i>Once upon a time, there was a man stuck </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jrv43wlgNOw/WbIiOSUPBOI/AAAAAAAACvU/O30AKtLzdy4cOJUucB8dfm0zVAeRkk0bQCLcBGAs/s1600/why%2Byou%2Bstarted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="599" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Jrv43wlgNOw/WbIiOSUPBOI/AAAAAAAACvU/O30AKtLzdy4cOJUucB8dfm0zVAeRkk0bQCLcBGAs/s320/why%2Byou%2Bstarted.jpg" width="212" /></a></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>in the middle of the ocean. He was in a rowboat, had plenty of supplies, and ores to paddle. At first, there was hope that he would not be stuck in the middle of the ocean, so he rowed and rowed. After a while, he stopped rowing. He had given up; it was too difficult. What was his purpose anyway. All that he hoped to achieve drifted.</i></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">But then, the man spotted land. Do you think he picked up his ores and started rowing again? YES! </span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">It is often that we are headed on a journey and hit a major roadblock or something we need to overcome. When we lose sight of that vision (island) it is harder for us to be resilient and carry on. Elder Robbins suggests that we have the opportunity to restore vision to those who are up against a rock and a hard place.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">To provoke thought and discussion, he asked: what is the ONE perfect parent
doing for us to help us become more resilient? </span> What else can we do to help raise children or teach our students grit? </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Below are some suggestions from the employees at BYU-Idaho.</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Allow them to see and understand natural consequences of their actions.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Teach reverence and humility toward God and the gospel. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">For example, Nephi wasn't trying to 'run the show' as they made their way through the wilderness, but he was humble enough to know that God wouldn't let him starve. This allowed him to persevere when things got tough.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Teach patience and respect toward our children and recognize that they were adults before they came to earth - see our children as they really are - sons/daughters of God also on this journey.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">The only way to learn how to ride a horse is to get back on when you are bucked from it - finish the ride.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">When we focus too much on the do's and don't's we stop focusing on the 'become'. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">He gave an example of a close friend who wouldn't let the baby feed themselves as a baby because it was messy. As the baby grew older, the baby (now toddler) demanded that his parents feed him, because that was the only thing he knew. When we are focusing on the do, we are not focusing on the be - l</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">etting them do hard things so they know they can finish, and </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">loving them enough to tolerate messes at the high chair. </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Praise their diligence and hard work. If you say things like 'you are smart' they may not know HOW they are smart. But when you praise their diligence and hard work, hey can make the connection.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Teach that if they start something, they need to finish it</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">It is not a reflection of parenting if your children fail - it is a natural consequence of agency. Our Heavenly Father does not base his success on if we fail. He know that we grow as a result of our suffering.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Teach them how to fall well. When you teach failure as an opportunity, teaching them HOW to take it is just as important.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Communicate their potential to them and remind them of who they really are and what they are capable of.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Encourage them to take risks even if they might fail.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Let their hands go so they can learn.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Express confidence in their ability and show them by example. Praise them for their efforts.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Our Heavenly Father never forces us to do anything. He will not give us a decision to make if it is not in our power to decide. He will inspire us at the crossroads when we are living worthy of the Holy Ghost and seeking direction. <br /></span><br />
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Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-76361798247972590452017-09-06T21:41:00.002-07:002017-10-18T15:46:40.362-07:00Mommy Tales: Being Nice to Myself<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aKVW6QwqXJ4/WbDOOIK67VI/AAAAAAAACvA/daxjFCp3qPg98PrITsEeVPzcRtn1XfBsgCLcBGAs/s1600/self-care-quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1029" data-original-width="625" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aKVW6QwqXJ4/WbDOOIK67VI/AAAAAAAACvA/daxjFCp3qPg98PrITsEeVPzcRtn1XfBsgCLcBGAs/s320/self-care-quote.jpg" width="194" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Church
today was particularly difficult with Little Bundle. First, we are
traveling and his </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">sleeping habits have been off. We are sharing a room
right now, and I think my snoring is keeping him up. He has been tossing
and turning a lot more than usual.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">After getting him ready, and getting ready myself, I packed my <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">purse with <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">all <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Little Bundle's needs, and started walking to church. I wasn't sure <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">how long it would take us to get there, but it s<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ure wasn't the 20 minut<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">es I had planned. We arrived to our 9:00<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> a.m. church at 8:40. I walked in and the lights <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">in the church were not even on yet. I didn't want to take Little Bund<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">le in the chapel since we would be there for an <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">hour. I walked around, went to the drinking foun<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">tain, bu<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">t it got to a point where I just needed to <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">set up shop in<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> the chapel.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I always choose a pew with a wall. That way, there is only one e<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">scape route for Little Bundle<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. Guarding <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">two by myself has always pres<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ented a challenge. How grateful I am, as a mom, to have a wall. It makes it seem like I am in more control<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> somehow....even if I<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">'m not.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On any given Sunday, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have a stash of bread and goldfish. The bread is for when the sacrament comes around so there is no fighting with the tray<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> The goldfish is for any other time I feel he needs a distraction. Today, Little Bundle spotted <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the bread</span> right away. Be<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">fore the opening services even started, he<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> was halfway done with the bread. I was silently praying that he would be able to make it through sacram<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ent meeting<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> without <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">too much fuss.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Minute
10 came and we were still on opening exercises. I knew I needed to be
prepared to leave, something I haven't needed to do in the past. It has
only been lately, as Little Bundle has become more mo<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">bile, that I ha<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ve</span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>st<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ruggled<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.</span></span> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Helping <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">distract him as much as I could, he had eaten his go<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ldfish, proceeded to spit them out and create a mess with them on the seat. After cleaning up after him, he had </span>enough and started to wail during the sacrament. I picked him up and started to go out,<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
having not partaken of the water. I noticed that the water had been
passed in the foyer, so I stood at the door as Little Bundle whimpered. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I wasn't embarrassed, but felt bad for those who really came prepared to ponder and listen. I also didn't know how appropriate it was for me to stand at the door since th<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">e doors are often a space for the priesthood to protect d<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">uring this sacred time.</span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Side Note</b>: I am trying to overcome this, but I often feel that when people glance my direction when <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Lit<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">tle Bundle start<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">s to get fu<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ssy</span></span></span></span>, they are really saying, <i>Don't you know it is rude to</i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i> keep a unruly child here....I am trying to feel the Spirit and you </i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>and your child are distracting me</i>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Maybe all mom's feel like this, but I really don't think <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Little Bundle is SO unruly that I have to take him out. I am at church to learn too, and will take him out, or stand up <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">by the door if I need to.....I digress.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> received</span> the water<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, gratefully<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, and made my way back to the pew. After<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ward, Little <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Bundle was great for 10 more minutes<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As he started to fuss again, I held him<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, reading si<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">lently to him. Then, I felt wetness. He peed through his clothes.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">At this point, I <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">knew it was time to leave</span>. I didn't have an extra change of clothes <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">(the first time I <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">didn't bring any since he was born). I realized the irony, made my way to bathroom, changed his diaper as he cooed in the <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">echoing<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">-tiled <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">restroom, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">and made my way <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">to <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">my stroller. He was naked, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">all except the diaper. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As I left, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I felt like I had to justify my son's nakedness in the <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">church. I explained this to one mother in the foyer, and concluded <i>I am not winning at mothering today</i>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On our walk <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">back
to my brother's apartment, I thought about my last comment. How easy
was it to blame myself <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">and </span>lack of mothering skills or <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">parenting abilities<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">? It was too easy. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">At the time, I didn't feel defeated in any way. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I wasn't mad, or annoyed at Little Bundle. My leaving had nothing to do with me being a bad mom<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, it had to do with not bringing a <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">naked baby back in<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">to sacrament meeting<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">had the opportunity to</span> partake of the sacrament, and renew my coven<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ants. I went to church, even though I w<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">as on vacation. I went <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">with a baby who was sleepy from the beginning.<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> I whispered <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">to Little Bundle about the reason we were there (<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a new tradition I star<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ted with him 3 weeks ago). </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I enjoy being obedient<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> - it brings me peace. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I showed up. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I hope that not too many of you, my readers, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">get down if thing<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">s don't go as smoothly as you <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">anticipate</span>.<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I often see phrases like "m<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ommy fail" or "#notwinningat<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">mom"</span></span> or <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the ever sarcastic "#winning<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">at<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">motherhood" floating on social media. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Even if you are not being serious when you post <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">those types of phrases</span>, take caution that you don't start believing <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">what you are saying<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Showing up is <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">all it </span>takes to defeat those negative <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">thoughts. It is high time we start being nicer to ourselves......starting, now.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-22018249330225064302017-08-19T22:50:00.000-07:002017-08-19T23:03:57.300-07:00I Cry Every Time My Mom Leaves<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My babysitter was unable to watch Little Bundle, and we needed to find someone to watch him for two weeks. I called my mom and she gladly volunteered. She flew here from California and not only took care of Little Bundle, but took care of me in ways she doesn't know.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In trying to navigate my relationship with My Sweetheart, my heart is often left sore. It is hard when one moment of darkness in our relationship - because of <a href="https://lindseyraeblau.blogspot.com/2013/11/it-does-not-define-you.html" target="_blank">My Sweetheart's depression</a> - feels like a lifetime. </span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mpFgFa0t-9E/WZkgEop7RoI/AAAAAAAACuk/iVYFq0PI_vQQJ_l3D9dDZeiSyRfp5cX8wCLcBGAs/s1600/mothersdaughter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="738" data-original-width="570" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mpFgFa0t-9E/WZkgEop7RoI/AAAAAAAACuk/iVYFq0PI_vQQJ_l3D9dDZeiSyRfp5cX8wCLcBGAs/s320/mothersdaughter.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mother<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">s and <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Daughters</span></span> by <a href="http://alinachau.com/" target="_blank">Alina Chau</a></span></span></td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am frequently left alone to figure out my role, separate his reactions and mood from anything I may or may not have done, and try to stay positive for me and for Little Bundle. It is hard, and most moments I fail to find beauty or joy in the journey. I hate what depression does to him. I hate, also, how I react to his depression.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But then my mom comes to town. She is so gracious, amazing, and wonderful. I ended up getting really sick while she was here, and she took care of Little Bundle, My Sweetheart, me, and housework, allowing me time to rest so I could heal in more ways than one. She gave me strength just by being here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I never feel a lack of being wanted or needed when I am with her. I always feel loved and cared for. Her service helps me through the dark moments of my marriage - and remember who I really am, where I come from, and the strong woman I have become.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In those dark moments, I tend to forget those things about myself. Yet, having someone I am close with, who knows the real me, and gets me, helps me overcome the dark moments and remember.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And so, I cry every time my mom leaves. </span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-45234891256446181092017-07-31T21:09:00.003-07:002017-08-15T15:06:10.577-07:00Fear Not, Do Not Fear - 365 times in the scriptures<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Education Week, BYU-Idaho</b></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Godfidence: Facing Fear and Finding Freedom</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Eric Richards</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Some would argue that what made the works of Edgar Allan Poe so well known and albeit, spooky, was the fact that he played on the common fears of society at the time. It is interesting that a lot of these fears that were common in his time, are still common today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The talk started by outlining the top common fears of society including: fear of spiders, snakes, small spaces, clowns, and heights. In this discussion, it was easy for me to see the role of "fear" and how it can prevent growth, overwhelm our faculties, and potentially take us captive.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Brother Richards shared some interesting stats about fear in the scriptures, including that the words "fear not" are mentioned 365 times in the scriptures; one for each day of the year. (I loved this insight!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There are three insights from the talk that resonated with me including:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">God is good: a light-hearted tale</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Anchoring the boat: minimal drift</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But if not: I will still have faith</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>God is Good: a light-hearted tale</b></span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kgYLfNqMAJU/WX_641RWblI/AAAAAAAACt4/Wj32jt_MzHkbvcKG2YPg7_Oj-Q4kA3P6wCLcBGAs/s1600/egyptian-army-red-sea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="316" data-original-width="568" height="178" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kgYLfNqMAJU/WX_641RWblI/AAAAAAAACt4/Wj32jt_MzHkbvcKG2YPg7_Oj-Q4kA3P6wCLcBGAs/s320/egyptian-army-red-sea.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Painting by <a href="http://roberttbarrett.com/" target="_blank">Robert Barrett</a></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Brother Richards tells the tale of a young man sitting on a bench reading the scriptures. After every verse, he would declare, "Amen! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! God is Good!" He was so vocal many would stop and look over to see what all the commotion was. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Amidst his declarations, a well-known, scholarly gentleman stopped by to understand his enthusiasm and demonstrate his scholarly know-how.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Scholar</i>: What scripture are you reading young man, and why the declaration?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Young Man</i>: I just got to the part where Moses is leading his people out of captivity, and parts the Red Sea. Amen. Hallelujah. Praise Jesus! God is Good!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Scholar</i>: I hate to tell you this, but perhaps I should. Historians, archaeologists, geologists, and other theologians have recently discovered that about that time there was a huge drought, which means that the Red Sea was only about 6 inches.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The Young Man was down trodden, thanked the scholar for his insight. The scholar left the young man, and quite proud of himself for fixing the presumed error of a 'miraculous' event, as proved by science. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">All of a sudden, he hears the young man proclaim "Amen! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! Good is Good."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Rushing back over, the scholarly gentleman inquires why, when after he corrected the young man the first time, was he now proclaiming praise.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>Young Man</i>: I just got to the verse where the Pharoah's soldiers reached the river. If what you said was correct, the Pharoah's soldiers all drowned in 6 inches of water! What a miracle! Praise Jesus.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I loved how this story demonstrates that even amidst the know-hows or naysayers of the world, that we can still be fearless because we know that God is Good. When we have a knowledge of this, even a slight knowledge, it will work in our favor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">One thing Brother Erickson said was that fearlessness is NOT the absence of fear - it is living a life of faith, in spite of fear. Choosing to cling to the promises we have made to God (our covenants) despite the situation at hand, has the potential to influence how we choose to walk. And when we walk in faith, we will have more courage than we thought.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Anchoring the <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">B</span>oat: <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">M</span>inimal <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">D</span>rift</span></b><br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rpIlq3-KvuE/WX_6Yj8F1FI/AAAAAAAACt0/OiPU4489ERApWtZB9c7JflbSWpzw3w--gCLcBGAs/s1600/set_disney_moana.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rpIlq3-KvuE/WX_6Yj8F1FI/AAAAAAAACt0/OiPU4489ERApWtZB9c7JflbSWpzw3w--gCLcBGAs/s320/set_disney_moana.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Brother <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Richards</span> has a lineage of what he calls the Island people. He said that the new Disney movie, Moana, had a profound impact on him, because he comes from that lineage. The next story was about this idea of 'anchoring the boats.' I pictured Moana the whole time he spoke.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In the past, when the island people worked at sea for a living, the chiefs and other experienced sailors would teach the youth about the importance of anchoring their boats. They explained that a sailor must anchor their boats to avoid losing their boats. The anchor allowed for minimum drift and was still able to function because it hadn't been tossed to and fro with the natural elements of the sea. Anchoring in a swift amount of time was crucial when sailors would see storms coming in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">To practice this feet, the young sailors would throw out their anchors, and when the anchor didn't hit the bedrock, the would pull it up, sail a distance, and scout for the perfect place to anchor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The experienced sailors would shake their heads against this practice. What the young men couldn't see from the shore was 1. How far off they traveled to find the perfect place to anchor 2. Exposure to other dangers in the water in areas that are not as well known, and 3. How time got away from them, the storms approaching faster, as they scouted for the perfect place to anchor.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">They missed the importance of the exercise.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What they were taught is that when they need to anchor 'now', they need to anchor in the spot indicated. If they run out of rope, the pull the anchor up, add <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">more line, and try to anchor once more.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The point I loved was when we are anchored to Christ, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">yes, there could be drift - that is part of being mortal, but we will not drift too far.</span> In addition, we cannot look for other places to anchor. We must anchor where we stand now....not ho<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ping for <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a proverbial perfect location</span>. The location is set and it is perfect.</span></span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But If Not: I <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">W</span>ill Still Have Faith </span></span></span></b><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pw9eX4DDDD4/WX_-avUm6gI/AAAAAAAACuA/FlxjGYV_htIZWZysTmo2GpH-boNFuuAnwCLcBGAs/s1600/fiery-furnace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pw9eX4DDDD4/WX_-avUm6gI/AAAAAAAACuA/FlxjGYV_htIZWZysTmo2GpH-boNFuuAnwCLcBGAs/s320/fiery-furnace.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Brother <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Richards</span> spoke of <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">many stories in the scriptures and in church history that speak of courage</span></span>, and strength to do the right thing. My favorite story of the event was the answer that </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego gave when King </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Nebuchadnezzar <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">commanded them to wor<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ship the golden idol and deny their God<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> As the s<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">tory continues, they refu<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">se to worship a false idol<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, and the King threatens that he will <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">throw them into a fiery furnace.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/dan/3?lang=eng" target="_blank">Daniel 3:17-18</a> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">states:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="verse-number verse">17 </span>If it be <span class="clarity-word">so,</span> our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver <span class="clarity-word">us</span> out of thine hand, O king.</span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">
<span class="verse-number verse">18 </span>But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">My favorite thing: our God is a God of all power. He CAN certainly deliver us. But, if he doesn't, we will still believe in God. I love it. What conviction. What courage. </span></span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Conclusion</span></span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MVpFpKkRllY/WX_9Jqu8gmI/AAAAAAAACt8/fml8HP1kwBc4eijkNEDWHKOmo8H1cECygCLcBGAs/s1600/Courage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="350" height="316" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MVpFpKkRllY/WX_9Jqu8gmI/AAAAAAAACt8/fml8HP1kwBc4eijkNEDWHKOmo8H1cECygCLcBGAs/s320/Courage.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Deeper-Ruth-Fazal/dp/B004LOOI1I/ref=sr_1_25?ie=UTF8&qid=1502834257&sr=8-25&keywords=ruth+fazal" target="_blank">From Ruth Fazal's album cover: Deeper</a> by <a href="https://www.oliverpengilley.co.uk/my-work-in-use" target="_blank">Oliver Pengilley</a></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">When I am ready to take up my anchor and start to doubt His word or His promises, or start to doubt myself, I also need to remember that Heavenly Father has asked me, and all of us to take Him to the place where I started to doubt, or lost trust - take Him to the place where I/you were bullied, abused, mistreated - let Him in on the process of those feelings, memories, emotions. ...and trust that He has the ability to heal. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/ps/118?lang=eng" target="_blank">Psalms 118</a>
was not placed in the DEAD CENTER of the Bible for now reason. There
are 594 chapters before and 594 chapters after. It is the 1188 Psalm
(118 verse 8) that states: <i><span class="verse-number verse">"</span><span class="clarity-word">It is</span> better to trust in the <span class="deity-name"><span class="small-caps">Lord</span></span> than to put confidence in man."</i></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i> </i>When I put my confidence in him, my fears become a little more manageable. </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">Even when I am feeling tossed by the wind, or struggling to help a teething 1 year old, or making it through a 'relapse' of a loved one, or feeling undervalued, all I need to do is remember: God is a God of ALL power. He has the ability to deliver me. BUT IF NOT - I still believe in God.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">That, my friends is the ability to defeat fear. That is courage!</span></span><br />
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Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-42133156558669159402017-07-27T21:20:00.003-07:002017-08-15T15:10:47.639-07:00Offering a Broken Heart and Contrite Spirit to Jesus Christ<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eOTImGUddF8/WXq3DbxvDVI/AAAAAAAACtM/QzkZva0ctPso2WF1S8tKO-ph5Kv3Ch14QCLcBGAs/s1600/borken%2Bheart-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="331" data-original-width="236" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eOTImGUddF8/WXq3DbxvDVI/AAAAAAAACtM/QzkZva0ctPso2WF1S8tKO-ph5Kv3Ch14QCLcBGAs/s320/borken%2Bheart-2.jpg" width="228" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am currently attending Education Week at BYU-Idaho. Even if I hadn't signed up for all of Education Week, the opening lecture from Gerald Lund was enough to make this experience worth it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The entirety of the talk was based around the approach that we hardly consider when speaking about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Typically, when we discuss or think about the Atonement we consider two perspectives:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The Atonement of Jesus Christ, the Son of God OR The Atonement of Jesus Christ, as it applies to humanity (to me).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The approach Brother Lund took was The Atonement of Jesus Christ, the mortal man, or the Son of Mary.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There were five aspects we discussed about Jesus Christ, the mortal man and the symbolism embedded with what, as a mortal, He experienced, including:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Knowest thou the condescension of God</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I, God, have suffered thees things for all</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Abba, Father</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A broken heart and a contrite spirit</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Ye must be born again</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There were so many beautiful things we discussed, but the one that resonated and stuck out to me the most was this idea of what it meant to Jesus Christ as he experienced a broken heart and what it means to truly be born again. I will only discuss the first one in this particular post.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>Broken Heart</b></span><br />
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The act of crucifying as a form of capitol punishment was developed by the Assyrians, but 'perfected' by the Romans. Where crucifixion was used as a means to an end, the Romans designed it to prolong, instead of hasten death. It was not unusual for a victim to live up to 5-6 days. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">I came home and researched the physiology of a crucifixion, and what it would do the human body. I found an article entitled,<span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> </span><a href="http://www.apu.edu/articles/15657/" style="font-size: 14.6667px;" target="_blank">The Science of the Crucifixion</a><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> by Cathleen Shrier Ph.D. with Azusa Pacific University.</span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px;">The article states: </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JH7ZfN9uhoc/WXq5FSvUM3I/AAAAAAAACtY/-geQDje5QiEyHZXmRgI5EavfERPEe_1-wCLcBGAs/s1600/jesus-crucified.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JH7ZfN9uhoc/WXq5FSvUM3I/AAAAAAAACtY/-geQDje5QiEyHZXmRgI5EavfERPEe_1-wCLcBGAs/s320/jesus-crucified.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">"</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Normally, to breathe in, the diaphragm (the large muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdominal cavity) must move down. This enlarges the chest cavity and air automatically moves into the lungs (inhalation). To exhale, the diaphragm rises up, which compresses the air in the lungs and forces the air out (exhalation). As Jesus hangs on the cross, the weight of His body pulls down on the diaphragm and the air moves into His lungs and remains there. Jesus must push up on His nailed feet (causing more pain) to exhale."</span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white;">"The difficulty surrounding exhalation leads to a slow form of suffocation. Carbon dioxide builds up in the blood, resulting in a high level of carbonic acid in the blood. The body responds instinctively, triggering the desire to breathe. At the same time, the heart beats faster to circulate available oxygen. The decreased oxygen (due to the difficulty in exhaling) causes damage to the tissues and the capillaries begin leaking watery fluid from the blood into the tissues. This results in a build-up of fluid around the heart (pericardial effusion) and lungs (pleural effusion). The collapsing lungs, failing heart, dehydration, and the inability to get sufficient oxygen to the tissues essentially suffocate the victim.</span><sup style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">5</sup><span style="background-color: white;"> The decreased oxygen also damages the heart itself (myocardial infarction) which leads to cardiac arrest. In severe cases of cardiac stress, the heart can even burst, a process known as cardiac rupture.</span><sup style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: 13px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">6</sup><span style="background-color: white;">"</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">While gruesome and completely horrific, these facts are important to note as Brother Lund described the physiological state of Jesus Christ as his mortal body experienced a crucifixion done by the Romans, and as supported by the article above. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In John 19:34 as the Romans went to check to make sure Jesus Christ was really dead, </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">"</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.01);">one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water." </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.01);">We can gather at this point that Jesus Christ could have died from a heart attack, as alluded to in the article above. As James E. Talmage states in <a href="https://www.lds.org/manual/jesus-the-christ/chapter-35?lang=eng" target="_blank">Jesus the Christ</a>, "</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.01); color: #333333;">Great mental stress, poignant emotion either of grief or joy, and intense spiritual struggle are among the recognized causes of heart rupture. </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.01); color: #333333;">The present writer believes that the Lord Jesus died of a broken heart."</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.01);">John 13:15 says " </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.01); color: #333333;">For I have given you an </span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.01); color: #333333;">example</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255 , 255 , 255 , 0.01); color: #333333;">, that ye should do as I have done to you.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.01);">It makes so much more sense to me why, when we covenant with our Heavenly Father that we too must offer up a broken heart."</span></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-06ed3935-8727-8cde-5a27-a45a8cd2af0d" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">And as we are commanded to do what He has done, He asks us to offer Him a broken heart and contrite spirit that we may live again (Doctrine and Covenants 59:8).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">This idea of a broken heart is tied to the covenants we make at baptism. When I go into 'being born again', I will share how I made some of these connections for the first time. I can say that I now have a more profound attention and respect for the sacrament I am offered every Sunday - which provides an opportunity for me to renew my covenants by taking the figurative blood and body of Jesus Christ with the bread and water.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Oxxk5nevCTg/WXq7ZGqcKxI/AAAAAAAACtg/nIuboSMA4_Q_aFwq2PMqsIRIqnW2qiyDACLcBGAs/s1600/Jesus%2BChrist-3%2Bguiding-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="795" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Oxxk5nevCTg/WXq7ZGqcKxI/AAAAAAAACtg/nIuboSMA4_Q_aFwq2PMqsIRIqnW2qiyDACLcBGAs/s320/Jesus%2BChrist-3%2Bguiding-.jpg" width="282" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Painting by <a href="http://www.radiantlight.org.uk/" target="_blank">Elizabeth Wang</a><br />Even in the Darkness of our Sufferings<br />Jesus is With Us</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">The crucifixion of Jesus Christ has always been hard for me to hear. I always skipped the details, or left the room if they were discussed because I couldn't bear to hear about the cruelty. Today, I listened with different ears. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">And, as I did, one thing became abundantly clear: I know without a doubt that my brother, Jesus Christ loves me beyond what I am capable of understanding. This love that He has for me is unique, personal, and intimate. He has a deep personal love for all of His children, which is also unique, personal and intimate with each of them. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">My love for the Savior and what He for me as the a Son of God, and as a mortal man, has exponentially increased since this morning. I left feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude.</span></span></div>
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Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-56198300931378266472017-07-05T09:54:00.002-07:002017-07-05T09:55:57.946-07:00Taking Time to Ponder: Being OK With Where I Am<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Remember my last post - where I talked about spending time with Little Bundle? Over the course of the last several months, Little Bundle learned to crawl, eats solids (wahoo), and is very curious. I love seeing this development and growth in him. It keeps us both busy...and I like it that way.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">One thing I am still learning though, is being able to accomplish the goals I have made...and have broken, and made again, but still be able to be with Little Bundle. I am not sure what this looks like yet, and don't have any advice for what to do to have a balanced life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W9v9_1qnWmw/WV0YDBZNfnI/AAAAAAAACsY/CIRNYeUn6yUnDoRjUYk6kDGHKX_IqkPpgCLcBGAs/s1600/Happy%2Band%2Bpondering.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="515" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-W9v9_1qnWmw/WV0YDBZNfnI/AAAAAAAACsY/CIRNYeUn6yUnDoRjUYk6kDGHKX_IqkPpgCLcBGAs/s320/Happy%2Band%2Bpondering.jpg" width="310" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But I can say that today, while listening to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxiE7VALlls" target="_blank">Marfa Lights 1 by Deuter</a>, I looked out my window and just looked. I breathed in deep breaths. I raised my standing desk and stood. I stretched and lengthened. I pondered. Really pondered.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have been thinking about what's next for me lately. Often when I start thinking too far ahead, I don't see the Lord working miracles in my life because I end up getting nervous and anxious. I start doing things out of context and stepping on a lot of toes in the process. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Two days ago I listened to this great BYU devotional talk about women, perseverance, education, direction, persistence, and devotion to God. The message was beautiful and clear. At a different point in my life, I could have been empowered by it. But this time, I needed to disregard it in order to keep my mind sound and open. I finally feel like I am in a good place. I am not saying that I am too content (because being content is sometimes not a good thing). I am saying that I am in a good place emotionally, spiritually...ok, maybe not physically (but I have accepted this). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When I start questioning where I am, or the next step, I start going faster than I have strength, and end up crashing hard. Crashing hard hurts. It has taken almost my whole life to finally figure out that I <b>will</b> get to where I need to at the time and pace that I need to - and that God is more than happy with that. For those of us who already burden ourselves with "I am not good enough" or "I am never happy until...." I have found that it is better to allow the Lord's plans to unfold, instead of trying to unfold them too early.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">That is why I am happy with where I am. I want to take this time to ponder, but not have anxiety. I want to be ok with the fact that I am still growing, and I know that it won't be as painful because I am taking a step back. </span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have plans to pursue my PhD, but not right now.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I spot clean until I have time to deep clean, because I would rather spend time with Little Bundle.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I choose to eat as healthy as I can, go on walks, and live an active lifestyle....with Little Bundle in mind....but am not overly concerned about my baby weight and trying to lose it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I choose to stay in my marriage in spite of all those around me that see so many things that could be improved, or that they deem as "wrong".</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I am happy with my current work position and find joy with my team and who I serve. Sure I am interested in progress and upward movement, but not right now.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sure I wish I had enough energy at the end of the day to blog, read, plan meals, etc. And eventually I will start to bring these things back into my life, but not as full force as I have in the past. And I am OK with that.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I will take the time to have 10 minutes of ponder time a day. Perhaps in the morning at work, just like today - where I can remind myself that my life is wonderful.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It is remarkable how many times I have to tell myself that I am OK with where I am in life. Admittedly, this time around has been less painful and enjoyable....and it has taken a long time for me to get to this point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Go me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">AND Go YOU, all my amazing anxiously engaged friends,...if you have been able to get to this point too.</span></div>
Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-40064571160765812762017-05-01T22:11:00.001-07:002017-05-01T22:11:43.291-07:00Mommy tales: Mondays are the hardest<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Most weekends, I pack up Little Bundle and we go shopping, or go on a mini-vacation, or just get out of the house. My attention goes to making sure he is safe, and that we get things accomplished.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This weekend, we had a service day where we helped our neighbors cut down large trees, helped with yard work, and really felt like we were part of the community. Little Bundle and I spent all day interacting together, having actual nap times - that get thrown off when we travel - and just really had a good time. While he can't verbalize his good time, he was SO happy, and slept when he needed to sleep.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Sunday, we were both very sick. My Sweetheart came down with a cold last week. Even though we tried to avoid it, it came at us full force. Little Bundle and I were out of commission all day. The beauty of having a baby that sleeps the entire naptime is that mom can sleep too.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And just like that, we were cooped up inside our home all Sunday. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In spite of our colds, Little Bundle showed me all his new tricks. The advantage of being the nanny is that you mostly get to see all the tricks before the parents do. He scoots backwards, starting clicking his tongue, looks up at you when you are holding him forward with those beautiful brown eyes, and "squinches" up his nose when you do something he thinks is funny. He also imitates your laugh and fake laughs, which I get a kick out of. He is growing so fast it is hard to keep up with all the new things he learns. By the time I write it down, he is onto something new.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But yet, when I sneak in on him sleeping, he seems so small - even though he is getting so big.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">For a working mom, I only see Little Bundle 4 hours of any given day (if I keep him up to play instead of going to bed). This is tough. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This is why it is easy for me to say 'no' to events I am invited where Little Bundle can't come with me. This is why it is easy for me to cook Mac N Cheese instead of something that requires more time. That is why I would rather be with him than with anyone, no offense. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">That is why Monday's are hardest - because my 12 hours of awake time with Little Bundle dwindle down to 4. </span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-9082057086638849162017-03-05T13:46:00.001-08:002017-03-06T07:44:13.336-08:00I Tire of Me<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-04D7z8wk0yw/WLyCvWN-zaI/AAAAAAAACqI/MEBxEP9NXJgYQjuImMp-r2_XE8HpbOvQgCLcB/s1600/death%2Bis%2Btired.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-04D7z8wk0yw/WLyCvWN-zaI/AAAAAAAACqI/MEBxEP9NXJgYQjuImMp-r2_XE8HpbOvQgCLcB/s320/death%2Bis%2Btired.jpg" width="154" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://gold-seven.deviantart.com/art/Angel-of-Death-134793183" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Angel of Death by Gold-Seven</span></a></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwj10_H2lMDSAhXnx1QKHdmIBmkQFggaMAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.randomhouse.com%2Ffeatures%2Fmarkuszusak%2F&usg=AFQjCNEBzdhAq2LzbuMJMcs5OF21VZjdKQ&sig2=OlmIKkNiXM7HhVJX4mlAGg&bvm=bv.148747831,d.cGw" target="_blank">The Book Thief</a>, by Markus Zusak, there is a scene where Death (the narrator) is wondering about God. In wondering and questioning <i>why, why all these people? </i>Death says, </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"I blow warm air into my hands, to heat them up.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But it's hard to keep them warm when the soul still shivers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I always say that name when I think of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Twice I speak it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I say His name in a futile attempt to understand. "But it is not your job to understand." That's me who answers."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then Death continues, "Your job is to..." And then I stop listening to me, because to put it bluntly, I tire of me."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b>That is how I have felt lately....<i>I tire of me</i>. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The past several weeks, I have had things brought to light by myself, by others, even by strangers, that I am sick of. I am sick of getting down on myself for things that don't matter. I will replay scenarios and conversations over and over and over just to make sure I didn't do something wrong, or say something upsetting or offensive.The "people pleaser" in my has taken full affect, and to my detriment. My paranoia of making sure everyone is always happy has taken a toll not just on my emotions, but also my physical state.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In this discovery, I am learning what it TRULY means to "please others." Before, I thought it was to make sure someone was happy with me all the time. But, duh....I can't control that. To please others was very surface for me, and I always came back with anxiety about an interaction.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I failed to grasp the deeper principle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In the talk <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/which-way-do-you-face?lang=eng" target="_blank">Which Way Do You Face</a>, Elder Lynn G. Robbins captures the essence of what I have learned, "Trying to please others before pleasing God is inverting the <i>first and second great commandments</i> (see <a class="scripture-ref" href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/matt/22.37-39?lang=eng#36">Matthew 22:37–39</a>). It is forgetting which way we face. And yet, we have all made that mistake because of the fear of men."</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My fear of man runs deep, but is something I feel like I am overcoming. When I relax the small things (reading scriptures, praying, attending the temple, FHE), I find this fear comes back full force. The adversary is very aware of my shortcomings, and knows this is my "go to" when I am straying away from the Word of Christ and Love of God.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have had many angels help me in my effort to strengthen my relationship with Jesus Christ and My Heavenly Father the past several weeks, including:</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MF82fujMWjs/WLyElHcN8dI/AAAAAAAACqQ/ED1AXKv_yeAhVm7fSrHmuupsrxO557O7QCEw/s1600/Thomas-Cole-986365.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MF82fujMWjs/WLyElHcN8dI/AAAAAAAACqQ/ED1AXKv_yeAhVm7fSrHmuupsrxO557O7QCEw/s320/Thomas-Cole-986365.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://explorethomascole.org/tour/items/79/compare" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Pilgrim of the Cross at the End of His Journey. Thomas Cole. 1848.</span></span></a></td></tr>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">During a
conversation with one of my supervisors, I relayed that I was
struggling to feel valuable to the organization. I wasn't trying to
demean the organization, nor leadership - but approached the topic
with my supervisor in hopes to get advice for what I was doing wrong,
how I could be more efficient, or what I could do to do my job better. <br /><br />The
past several weeks, I have examined why I have a need for constant
feedback, and why I like to know that what I am doing is good, bad,
amazing, not so amazing, etc.<br /><br />It was at that moment that my
supervisor expressed that as long as my relationship with Heavenly
Father is in tact, I will feel value/valuable in all other
relationships, or whatever work I pursue. It was that moment, I knew my
relationship with Heavenly Father was not where it needed to be. <br /><br />This
was the culminating moment where I realized my pride was being broken
down in a VERY loving way from an EXTREMELY loving Heavenly Father.<br /><br /> </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> I attended an All Employee Conference where the HR Director from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spoke about leadership and becoming Disciple Leaders. Part of the training the church administration uses includes an exercise of asking Heavenly Father, "What Lack I Yet."<br /><br />I was not ready to ask this question. At this moment, I knew that this is what Heavenly Father was waiting for me to do - so that we could strengthen our relationship. I didn't know if I could handle what he needed of me. Without really asking, I know Heavenly Father allowed me to think/ponder the idea of asking Him "What Lack I Yet," for a little while. I am grateful that He gave me this time. <br /><br />I still haven't asked Him, but feel like I am learning anyway.</span></li><br />
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There are some foundational things that aren't in place in our marriage for us individually, and therefore not in place for us as a couple. We both recognized the need to seek help to overcome some habits that have turned extremely ugly in our marriage.<br /><br />Our amazing Bishop is helping us with those foundational elements that are deep rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ. His encouragement and testimony of our Savior's ability to heal and help us overcome our challenges has restored in me hope....something I haven't felt in a long time.<br /><br />The other night, our Bishop gave me a blessing. Prior to the blessing, I shared with him that I am being humbled right now, and in this state my pride is being broken down....and it is painful. It is so painful. <br /><br />The blessing was sacred, but I want to share that this period of being humble is far from over. However, I left the Bishop's office with a renewed sense of hope, a remembrance of Heavenly Father's love for all of His children, and with a surety that when I rely on Jesus Christ, I will be able to withstand, carry, power through, and be so incredibly happy.<br /><br /> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In a situation where I was supposed to be advising, I found myself being advised. This young lady pointed out: there are many people willing to die for Christ....which is highly admirable. Yet, how many are willing to live for Him? She continued that when she stops doing the small things, like reading scriptures, going to the temple, praying morning and night...how easy it is to fall short.<br /><br />I valued her perspective and realized that I had been falling short. I know one of my <a href="http://lindseyraeblau.blogspot.com/search?q=13+commandments" target="_blank">Happiness Project Commandments</a> is #8 </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It is part of life's learning experience to fail - what is failure anyway? But this is something I realized CANNOT be compromised. I can't fail in this. <br /> </span><br /><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Please don't misunderstand, I GET the reality that I may not do this sometimes. But the conversation renewed my conviction, and buoyed me through this turbulent time.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There are so many other moments that have helped and are helping me along the way. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Going back to The Book Thief, after Death says "I tire of me," Zusak writes, "When I start thinking like that, I become so exhausted, and I don't have the luxury of indulging in fatigue."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The talk <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1973/10/the-need-for-total-commitment.?lang=eng" target="_blank">The Need for Total Commitment</a> by Theodore M. Burton, states, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"It is true that we each have
imperfections to overcome. Life is a constant series of challenges and
trials. Notwithstanding, we should never fail to strive for that
perfection of life which can bring us closer into harmony with God. As
the apostle Paul said in writing to the Philippians:</span></div>
<div data-aid="28726927" id="p10">
<br /></div>
<div data-aid="28726928" id="p11">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">“I
press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in
Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as [would] be [come] perfect, be
thus minded: and if in anything ye be otherwise minded, God shall
reveal even this unto you.” (<a class="scripture-ref" href="https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/philip/3.14-15?lang=eng#13">Philip. 3:14–15</a>.)</span></div>
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<div data-aid="28726929" id="p12">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thus
we should seek to overcome any discovered fault in our characters which
tends to take us away from a total commitment to God."</span></div>
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<div data-aid="28726929" id="p12">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don't
have the luxury of being in this life with half my foot in the door and
half my foot out the door. The time is now for me to commit fully.</span></b> </span></div>
Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-50526852674989596752017-01-30T08:37:00.002-08:002017-01-30T10:26:49.887-08:00Save Me Buddha-Bar Pandora Radio!<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I was introduced to the <a href="http://www.buddhabar.com/en/music-buddha-bar-musique-album-buddha-bar" target="_blank">Buddha-Bar</a> soundtrack back in 2009. I heard it when I worked at The Summit Group Communication back in the day via my buddy and amazing colleague, Scott. After hearing it, I went to the library and found out that Buddha Bar had a variety of different soundtracks. I was hooked and bought all of them.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9e7EBkJx_9U/WI9rYlsjhrI/AAAAAAAACo8/kSHInS6KY4gix61LV8mnUuk53stxy8ZGACLcB/s1600/visuelwebradio_new_big.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9e7EBkJx_9U/WI9rYlsjhrI/AAAAAAAACo8/kSHInS6KY4gix61LV8mnUuk53stxy8ZGACLcB/s320/visuelwebradio_new_big.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Since then, Buddha-Bar has been my go to when I need to get stuff done, and get it done quickly. Often, you will hear these tunes in my office when I have important deadlines to meet. Its varied sounds including drums, zithers, accordion, bongos, and Parisian influences provides the beats I need to stay focused and "get 'er done." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">With Pandora, I eat up the Buddha-Bar station like gangbusters. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">During my masters program, I would find my chair (Burt) in the Marriott Library at the University of Utah campus, plug in to my computer, and throw on Buddha-Bar. The end production of my writing and assignments was astounding - <i>did I really just write that? Cool</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It is not news that music influences behavior; just read:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_background_music_influences_our_behavior_at_work" target="_blank">How Background Music Influences</a><a href="http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_background_music_influences_our_behavior_at_work" target="_blank"> Behavior at Work</a>: Berkeley Online Magazine</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.helpscout.net/blog/music-productivity/" target="_blank">How Music Affects Your Productivity</a>: Help Scout</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Some of my most insightful blog posts were written while listening to Buddha-Bar. Now I sound like an advertisement - but I don't care. I just had to share with you something that works for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I also notice my house gets a little cleaner with these tunes streaming in the background.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thank you Buddha-Bar....</span></div>
Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-17241408062283803702017-01-28T21:39:00.001-08:002017-01-28T21:55:28.096-08:00The Marriage Learning Curve, Lesson 8: I Hide the Poptarts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yDXDa33fM1M/WI1-LDRqAuI/AAAAAAAACos/ZLFTCum6C50ozduTek5ZS9gP3p6CjrUIACLcB/s1600/Poptarts.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yDXDa33fM1M/WI1-LDRqAuI/AAAAAAAACos/ZLFTCum6C50ozduTek5ZS9gP3p6CjrUIACLcB/s1600/Poptarts.JPG" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hidden away in my cupboard are varying food items that are purposefully hidden. There is a scene in the Family Man, not my favorite movie, but a fun scene nonetheless - where Tea Leoni's character is enjoying a large piece of chocolate cake. Nicolas Cage's character sees this and gets truly exacerbated because he was planing on having the last piece of chocolate cake. They end up wrestling over it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Since as long as I can remember, I have stashed the good food stuffs for myself. From the time I was young, I would hide my favorite food items in places no one would ever find them in the pantry - behind the canned food items, for example. I don't know how this started, but have a theory.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I savor. I eat slowly so I can enjoy every bite. Sometimes, I close my eyes. Other times, my friends are embarrassed to be around me because I make yummy noises at restaurants. In this regard, I like the good stuff to last. And often, growing up - the good stuff would disappear after one or two days. <i> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><i>But I was planning on having that cookie....in two days, because I had one yesterday, I am having chocolate covered pretzels today, and cheesecake tomorrow...therefore HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY COOKIE</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I often have a plan with my food. It requires that I save it as long as I can. I don't know why; this has always just...been.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Since being married, this concept of 'saving food' for when I anticipate a craving, is non-existent. I am married to someone who lacks discipline to stop eating. Left-overs were never a thing for him and his family. And when there are left-overs, they are quickly forgotten and end up going bad if I don't remind him they are there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The Poptarts I bought just two days ago....are gone. The 4 boxes of cereal I bought 2 weeks ago...gone yesterday. Not to mention that My Sweetheart always says how bad these things are for him. So, I buy them thinking that maybe, just maybe, one day when I am craving Marshmallow Maties because I just love the gooshy marshmallow goodness, I will have a bag left. Nope.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Back in my college days, I used to share staple food items (milk, eggs, butter) with my roommates. Over time, I developed "Roommate Meetings" where when we would first move in together, we could air out any items that 'bugged' us, so that the other roommates would get and understand pet peeves beforehand. It saved a lot of heartache and potential drama to do this. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My 'bugs and recommendations' were: </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If you finish the milk, you are responsible for buying more milk - same day. Heaven forbid that I wake up thinking I have breakfast all taken care of, and have to eat my cereal with water...or not eat cereal at all *gasp<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Do your dish, or if you don't, don't leave crap in so I have to soak your dish</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This food thing has been a source of contention in our marriage. On those days where I have something in mind to cook for our family, and the main ingredient has been eaten - with no regard to my meal preparation - I can't help but get upset. Not to mention that some of the things eaten doesn't make sense:</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Why, why did you have to eat two bags of sharp cheddar cheese for lunch? Really? Couldn't you find something else substantial to eat...like those frozen meals that you pop in the microwave, or the left-over roast and mashed potatoes we had last night?</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">And so, after many an argument about how I savor, and My Sweetheart's lack of food discipline, I have incorporated a couple of things:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Get that food is food, and that we both need it to survive - stop being so grumpy about when food is gone - at least he is eating.<br /> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I label my food (particularly my fancy French jam). My Sweetheart doesn't have refined tasted buds like mine and doesn't mind non-fancy jam. So, I label my food.<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My Sweetheart doesn't often have patience for waiting for the microwave, so I have just accepted that I need to buy more cereal and milk. I needed to stop fighting this one, even though cereal is extremely expensive and unhealthy. <br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I put the leftovers right on top of other items in the refrigerator.<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I put a limitation on the amount of cheese he could eat per day so it could last for at least 1 week 1/2, with which he agrees - and I am grateful. <br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I buy two of the things I know he pounds, like bread.<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">He checks in with me if he wants to slam a gallon of ice cream. <br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I buy him 'food presents' so that he can remember that I love him in spite of the fact he ate my food. </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We are still working on the 'please replace my item same day' business, which is why I still hide my Poptarts. </span><i><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span></i>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3464823100504040171.post-77382996901311510172017-01-20T22:03:00.000-08:002017-01-28T21:55:46.549-08:00Improving Life: An Eternal Principle<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZAJKeLe1Oqk/WIL3TpBf9mI/AAAAAAAACn4/5DM0JaJ-LRQ2jURfyCAPmvOEskSHFwDJgCLcB/s1600/choose-happiness-19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZAJKeLe1Oqk/WIL3TpBf9mI/AAAAAAAACn4/5DM0JaJ-LRQ2jURfyCAPmvOEskSHFwDJgCLcB/s320/choose-happiness-19.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Last night I attended an activity at church where we discussed....ba ba ba baaa.....<a href="http://gretchenrubin.com/" target="_blank">The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin</a>. For all those who have read my blog in the past, I read this book a while ago, and fell in love with some of the key ideas - particularly her approach to goal setting and sticking to it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Before I attended the event, I read last year's blog post, echem....one of the only blog posts from last year, about how I felt about goals in general. In my blog <a href="http://lindseyraeblau.blogspot.com/2015/02/resolutions-goals-and-happiness-project.html" target="_blank">Resolutions, Goals, and Happiness Project Commitment</a>, I discussed how I felt about New Year's resolutions. After review, I found myself in the trap again...of thinking how silly it is to make them, and dreaded last night for fear that I would let myself down AGAIN.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But then it dawned on me....<a href="http://lindseyraeblau.blogspot.com/2013/08/happiness-project-my-10-commandments.html" target="_blank">my 13 Commandments</a> (something that Gretchen talks about in her book). One of my commandments is "Let it Go!" and another one is "It is part of life's learning experience to fail - what is failure anyway?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Just a reminder:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>My 13 Commandments </b></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">1. It is what it is, embrace it, be grateful for it</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">2. Ask "Am I Being a Lady?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">3. Optimism is a force multiplier</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">4. By small and simple things, great things come to pass </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">5. Don't rehearse unhappiness</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">6. Let it go</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">7. Be true to my God and myself</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">8. It is part of life's learning experience to fail - what is failure anyway?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">9. Acknowledge and be OK with what I don't encompass, and what others don't encompass (borrowed from a <a href="http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2008/10/paradoxes-of-ha/">Gretchen passage</a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null">: Paradoxes of Happiness</a>)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">10. Don't be so hard on yourself</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">11. Remember you are of great worth </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">12. All in the Lord's time</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">13. Everyone has agency because everyone is a child of God </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">So, the fact I didn't report on my Happiness Project last year is OK. In fact, it is great! Because life is great, and the importance of believing my commandments is that I will not beat myself up for what I am unable to accomplish. I felt that last year was fantastic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Lots of good things last year, loved my job, remarkable relationship with My Sweetheart, had the best Snugs in the world, moved into a house, saw my family A LOT (for which I am extremely grateful), made and have amazing friendships, created things, made amazing food, learned from mistakes - it was a good year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I digress.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I admit, I am still wary of making goals, but came away from the activity last night with hope in new commitments and goals. This post is to put to memory some of the things we discussed that inspired me.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Mental Health</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hy53J4HtXL8/WIL3wK6R_QI/AAAAAAAACn8/JjtSpYgYkBcTo2Cczfrl5AXbZHceiMBWQCLcB/s1600/Health-Tree-700px.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Hy53J4HtXL8/WIL3wK6R_QI/AAAAAAAACn8/JjtSpYgYkBcTo2Cczfrl5AXbZHceiMBWQCLcB/s320/Health-Tree-700px.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Mental health is related to several healthy habits primarily revolving around:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Nutrition</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Use of natural supplements</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Lifestyle</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">What is your sleep and exercise patterns, etc</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The benefits of detoxing your home and body for things that are more natural</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Thoughts </span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Discovering what kind of thinker you are. </span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Are you a glass is half full or glass is half empty? </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Recognition
of how and where your thoughts turn when you are unoccupied is a huge
part of knowing how you will respond to various goal setting items
within mental health</span></span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Self-care</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Spiritual </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">During our conversation about mental health, we focused on nutrition. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Foods to avoid to help with mental health: </span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sugar</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Fried food (any trans fats, altered fats)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">White flour</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Caffeine</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Fake sugar - the instructor gave an example of if you are going to drink soda, it is actually better NOT to drink a diet soda. It is more damaging to your nervous system than people think. I don't have research to back this up, but I believe it.</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Throughout the conversation, all I could think about was pizza. I haven't been able to eat anything solid for one week because I had my wisdom teeth pulled last Friday. My recovery has been slow...and all I can think about are the things I can't eat. Last night, all I wanted was pizza....well, and a big fatty ribeye.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I admire people who eat healthy all the time. I used to detox by eliminating sugar, except for one day a week. I feel like this was a good goal for me...but you know what, I am also of the belief that LIFE IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED! And if I like sugar, I should eat it....with the motto in mind: Moderation in all things. I came to this conclusion a while ago. Every once in a while I will detox from certain foods, but for the most part, I feel good about what we eat as a family. I am sure that will change as Snugs gets older and starts eating solids. But until then, nutrition is wonderful - but not something I can spend time worrying about right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">One other concept we talked about that I want to learn more about was when we discussed self-care. There are some new articles circulating on Facebook about Family Minding - which was loosely defined by my group as when you are minding your family so much out of obligation that it actually does more damage to spirit than good. This is something I want to look into later...and sounds fascinating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>Spiritual</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We discussed what it would be like if the Savior stood beside us, how would we be or act. Our team discussion leader told us about how she committed to try an experiment where she would pretend He was standing beside her for 5 minutes. At first, in her meditation and prayer, she found it hard to keep up. With practice though, she was able to hold prayerful conversations with her Father in Heaven that impacted the rest of her day. I liked the idea and am wondering the goal I want to set.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">One quote I loved from the last General Conference, "Please believe, and please take hope and comfort from this eternal truth. Our Heavenly Father intends for us to make it. That is His work and His Glory."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b>Family</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My favorite example of the night was when our team discussion leader shared an example. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">More or less in her words: "At Christmas, I received a gift from my husband. We don't typically do gifts for one another, so I was shocked and felt a little guilty - feeling like I needed to get him something. When I opened it, it was this beautiful red, leather purse that he bought when he was on a business trip to Paris, France. I was in love with it...and carried it around with me all day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The next day, I thought - well this is too nice for what I would use it for (because I am a mom with kids and carried diapers, snacks, and suckers - and didn't want to ruin my purse). So, I stuck it back in the box it came in and put it at the top of my closet. My husband asked me one day if I was ever going to use it. I told him I didn't want to ruin it, but he reminded me that he spent a lot of good, hard-earned money, and would appreciate if I used it. So, I started using it, and, as predicted, it got scuffed, dirty on the inside, and I felt terrible. When I went to clean it though, because it was made of good material, the scuffs came out, and it was immaculate again.<b>"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">She likened this to the Atonement. Are we putting the Atonement on the top shelf because 'it is too good' or because we don't feel like we should use it or else we will ruin it? We have been given this beautiful gift that is meant to be used. The beauty of the Atonement is that we can become clean again - every Sunday through the Sacrament.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">She gave some tips about developing lasting familial relationships:</span><br />
<ul><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-97vMoy60p-Y/WILzTyTXlDI/AAAAAAAACnY/lYsXM4ImKr8WDftbwzfSFXvMCLs5mGnOACLcB/s1600/Make-things-happen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-97vMoy60p-Y/WILzTyTXlDI/AAAAAAAACnY/lYsXM4ImKr8WDftbwzfSFXvMCLs5mGnOACLcB/s320/Make-things-happen.jpg" width="320" /></a>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">One PhD,
who was writing a book about universal
truths said it was so hard to find universal truths due to the fact
that everyone has different belief systems</span></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The one universal
truth that he found in all his research is the ability all of us have to choose</span> </span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Before acting, ask yourself "Will the choice I make help me become who I want to become?" "Will the choice I make provide a desired outcome?</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">" <br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Others in the group gave the example of how hard it is to read scriptures as a family, and how it is easier to choose not to read them </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The point is that often our choices become habit forming and do not produce or contribute to the outcome we were originally shooting for</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Becoming = Begin to be</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> <br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We need to choose to be participants in our own development<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Being actively engaged and not just letting choices happen is also a universal truth that we talk about all the time at church - to act and not be acted upon<br /></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">When times get tough, consistency is key</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If we stick to our goal, regardless of how small it seems, it will work out</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The Lord will not let us down as we try to anchor ourselves to Him</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Conclusion</span></b><br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5oPm3npNFP0/WIL43XXRLTI/AAAAAAAACoM/6ec5c0Y3uVQxEN0ekAJjfwVik54Pf6icgCLcB/s1600/moments-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5oPm3npNFP0/WIL43XXRLTI/AAAAAAAACoM/6ec5c0Y3uVQxEN0ekAJjfwVik54Pf6icgCLcB/s1600/moments-1.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The whole evening was full of <b>moments</b> for me. It was invigorating to be surrounded by other women who are doing the best they can and who are bright, intelligent, beautiful, and engaging. It was a night of reflection for what goals I want to set and those that I am still clinging to from year's past. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Today, I had additional insight and really have a deeper testimony that goal setting and commitment to things improve our lives, and are eternal principles that will bring us one step closer to becoming like our Father in Heaven. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I am excited for what this new year will bring.</span>Unstoppable Lindseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07945331805297490047noreply@blogger.com0