Thursday, July 31, 2008

Rocking Blues with a 16 year old

I am absolutely blown away by the talent of youth! Seriously!! It seems like everyday, I get emails about extraordinary talent by youth from all over the world. Last night, I was completely taken back by this incredible 16 year old blues artist Andrew Goldring. His band rocked too.

I had a date that I was in charge of planning and I wanted to do something very out of the ordinary. I was just going to take him to a nice sit-down dinner, where we could talk, catch up...whatever. Instead, I got online to see what the city of Holladay had planned. Every Wednesday during the summer, the Holladay City Arts Council sponsors musicians to come and perform behind city hall. I wasn't sure what I was getting into by going, but thought that might be a fun date.

And let me tell you!! It was amazing. I was completely impressed by this young musician and his band. He really was inspiring. The way his fingers moved over his I also loved how catchy the music was and how random, yet awesome, the lyrics were. The date rocked too!

I looked for him online. You can listen to his music at Apparently, him and his band have some upcoming gigs in Utah. I am so there! I bought his CD last night and have listened to it at least 6 times. Here is a little diddy I found on YouTube. He also has his own YouTube page at

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Math has never been my strong suite. Any time I think about it, I get a little sick to my stomach! It's true...I really do. I remember being in Mrs. Clark's math class during my 8th grade year. I thought that year was for sure the year that I would finally 'get it,' because she was an AWESOME math teacher.

One night, I had a dream where I was in Mrs. Clark's class and I was really sick. She was standing up at the chalkboard and working out some kind of equation. My stomach was aching. It was as if she could read my mind, because the next thing she said was: OK kids, let's find out why Lindsey is sick. X + Y = the reason Lindsey is sick. The next thing I know, I wake with a start, run to the bathroom and throw up!! I will never forget the dream, which may be why I feel sick every time I do math.

Well, ladies and gentleman, I would like to present: A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH.

Over the past couple months, I have been studying for the GRE. The book tells me that the test has 14 quantitative questions and 14 other questions all related to math. However, there are at least 6 chapters in the book (about 12-13 pages each) that go over different tactics to figuring out these math questions. I started studying in May and actually got a tutor...who was very good. She taught 7th graders and was very patient with me as I struggled through these problems.

The first couple times, I had to re-learn all of the formulas that since high school, I had not even thought about. The area of a circle, triangle, square, etc. Perimeter, angles, shaded regions, word problems, measurements....everything. I was so frustrated that I couldn't remember anything that I was taught throughout high school! So, the tutor came once a week and we worked on problems for about 3-4 hours. I was starting to pick up on it, but at the end of the 'session' I ended up being more frustrated because I thought, "Well, that's great...but who's to say that I will know which formulas to use during which problems?" I felt completely lost.

When my dad came to visit, I sat down with him to go over some problems. What he said made sense, and I was starting to understand, but when I tried to do the problem by myself, I couldn't get it!! I was so UPSET. It just comes so easily for other people.

I also forgot to mention that one of my other friends sat down to help me with some problems....and boy was that a disaster. She did all the work in her head, where I am one that has to write everything out in order for it to make sense. So, that didn't work at all and I ended up crying!

Last night though...I mean WOW! My friend Ben came over to help me. One thing you need to know about Ben...he is amazing when it comes to understanding where I am at in this process. We have a very similar way of thinking about how to solve problems (both in math and in life, I might add). We sat down and started working on the same problems that I worked on with all three of my tutors.

About an hour later something clicked and I could have cried. I finally got it! This isn't to say that I am perfect at math....I still need to practice....but I finally understood how to do one specific problem that I had been struggling with since May! I was so grateful for Ben....he was able to get through the cloud that seems to take over my brain when I study math...and totally have it make sense for me! I don't know how he did it...but the fact is that he did....and I am so grateful and humbled!

So now I can find shaded areas within certain regions. Onto story problems!! BRING IT ON!

Thank you Ben.

Monday, July 28, 2008

My four-day date and thoughts on extreme dating

Not to brag or boast or anything, but I have always considered myself a great first-dater. I always tell my friends and family to ‘hook a sister up’ because I deliver wonderful first dates. I love them. It is so fun getting to know different people and have a wonderful time in the process.

It is when things go beyond the first date that I wonder, hmmm, “How much Lindsey, is too much Lindsey?” I would have to say it is all about keeping it real.

When it comes to extreme dating (meaning doing things that are absolutely nuts, like a four-day date, meeting the family on the 3rd date, or just not slowing down and having to do everything in one shot,) it is important that I not attach myself to any expectation other than to have an awesome time.

Meeting the Family: I have never had a problem with dudes meeting my family. It is actually quite normal. From my years living at home, I always loved when I could invite boys in before or after a date to converse with the family. My family is totally cool, fun and spunky…and I always enjoyed having them participate in my dating life. It’s true. I still do. So, meeting the family is just a normal thing for me.

It can get rather sticky if I start seeing someone and automatically introduce him to the family. I realize that it might be awkward for him. Well, call me extreme, but lately I have been introducing my family on the 3rd or 4th date. I find that when I joke about it…it calms my man down. I make jokes with light, sarcastic tones about meeting the fam. I then make jokes about my dad, his gun, and intimidation factor (which is totally not true because my dad is a teddy bear). So when my man meets him, he thinks, “Gee, Lindsey’s dad isn’t so bad after all.” Which in my mind really increases brownie points.

When it comes to me meeting the fam…I love it! Again, no matter what my man has said about his family, I go in full steam ahead and get to know them the best I can. Recently, I noticed that when I meet the family, I am more apt to stay in the ‘safe zone.’ The family doesn’t need to know that I am crazy and chatter like a chipmunk when I get excited. It doesn’t mean that I am not being myself, but I cool it down in those situations and allow them to show me what their lives are all about.

During my four-day date this weekend in San Diego, I stayed at my date’s house with his family. Nothing awkward for me, but I wasn’t sure of my boundaries. I normally don’t have a problem adjusting to change, so I decided it was best to play it more passive than aggressive. I noticed when I visited with my family in the same weekend trip, I was a different person, in a sense that I knew my boundaries and was more comfortable to joke, be funny and walk around in a towel.

Four-Day Dates: My poor date! I am sure he is absolutely sick of me. He goes to bed – I am there…at his house. He wakes up – I am there…at his house. He wants some of his own time…I am there…at his house. He wants to do something just for him….ah, but there is Lindsey to deal with. OI! BUT hence extreme dating. So, here is what I learned from this extreme dating experience:

  • Sometimes silence is ok (that was a really hard one for me. Everyone knows how I like to talk, especially about myself ;)
  • Do things he likes to do, not necessarily what the both of us ‘want’ to do. Unfortunately, the four-day date is over, but I should have been keener on doing things that he really likes to do. The trick is that we did stuff we both wanted to do…but it wouldn’t have killed me to let him win in a two-man volleyball smack down, or go play some put-put golf, or go to a golfing range where he could have taught me how to hit…or let him finish showing me pictures of his last trip. I totally spaced it!
  • Independence Rules. Sometimes visiting people means I am dependent on them to drive me places, feed me, serve me….blech. I was completely dependent on my date and his family to provide. What advice do I have on this subject? Let’s brainstorm on how I can be more independent while yet dependent: bring my computer and do some work. Bring books to study (planning on doing things I really should be doing). Make phone calls and separate myself from my date to give him more space. Go grocery shopping with my mom prior to going to his house so I don’t eat them out of their house. Pay for stuff too. I did not expect for him to pay for everything. I chipped in too. I am sure he needed his independence too. Something I will do better….next time ;)
  • Freaking out is not an option. Freaking out is a no-win situation. The person my date knew and first met was confident, independent, fun and absolutely crazy. He got me there, so why should I freak out about being myself. Stop wigging out. Sweaty palms, butterflies, and not wanting to get in the way is like stubbing your toe, it halts progress and sometimes hurts. No freaking out.
I guess the point of my little post is that no matter what, it is important that when I extreme date to take it easy, not worry so much and enjoy the time. I had an awesome weekend full of surprises with an amazing guy! I really didn’t freak out too badly ;)

One important fact about extreme dating is that it is important to concentrate on the amazing things we did: Hot-tubbing, swimming, going to the beach, reading, eating the world’s best sushi, running into old buddies at Moonlight, eating at least a dozen chocolate chip cookies, making breakfast, cooking up some rockin steak, going to the drive-in, running into buddies at the drive-in, watching Phantom of the Opera in pimped out clothes in a pimped out theater in some pretty wicked awesome seats, falling in love with the Phantom and crying during the last scene (yes, I am sure he cried too ;) renting movies, buying the Phantom movie, hanging with his family, holding babies, chatting with his mom about quilting, going to church, engaging conversation, Sea World with my family…the list goes on. No need to worry!

The four-day date was awesome…and highly recommended with someone you think is pretty cool… ;)

Monday, July 21, 2008

Bryan on a spy mission

Little Bryan and mom stayed with me all of last week. One night, I went swimming with my little brother, Bryan. We swam for about an hour…and it was getting to be 10:00 at night, so we had to wrap it up. My mom said, if you tell him you are staying 10 minutes, only stay about 5, he has no concept of time. Well, I ended up wanting to swim a little more, so we ended up staying about 20. Toward the end, I said that we had to leave…and being 9 years old and absolutely loving hanging with his sister, Bryan shouts “No, why do we have to go.” I then told him that we stayed an extra 20 minutes even though mom only told us 10. That seemed to resonate pretty clear. Not only was I trying to persuade him to leave, but I just confirmed that I was the coolest older sister ever because we stayed SO much longer than originally planned!

So, he still whined, but I quickly turned the tide by saying, “Tell you what, go and get that floaty at the end of the pool and bring it back, and then we will go.” Well, being the little 9 year old that he is, he swam to the floaty, climbed on top and began to swim (more like meander) back to the other side of the pool. He started singing, “Bryan’s on a spy mission, Byran is on a spy mission.” This lasted an additional 10 minutes as I am sure his imagination made him that much slower! So, as I patiently waited….obviously amused that he was taking his time, he pulls his head out of the water and says, “Do you want me to take this all the way back to other side of the pool and sing my theme song. I can do that.” I just couldn’t help but laugh! Deceptively clever….sly as a fox.

After I told him not to, we were leaving and he kept singing his theme song…over and over and over….and over. Normally, I am sure I would have slugged him or something to get him to shut up….but I didn’t…he sang and sang until he started and stopped….saying, ‘uh.’ I looked over at him and asked what was wrong. He totally forgot his name or what he was singing. It was hilarious. We ended up stopping because we were laughing so hard!

Oh, he kills me! I love it. We had a date on Friday followed by a campout with just us. Yes, I took him to Batman! Yes, I was warned that it was gruesome, but you know….mom said it was ok. Hah….we then went to my ward campout. All these singles and a 9 year old….I was totally psyched. Dude….just so everyone knows, my kid brother ROCKS! Seriously….I have always felt this special bond with this crazy 9 year old and love the time we have together.

A couple months ago, he was staying at my house and I started writing in my journal. He asked me what I was up to and I said that I was writing down some memories. He asked me how long I have been writing. I told him since I was about his age. He said, “Really, I want to see.” So I dug up one of my old journals and we read them together. It was awesome. At the end of reading several, he said that was ‘totally cool.’ SWEET. I am a totally cool sister!! Oh, I love it.

It was so fun to have him and my mom stay with me this past week. It really made life that much easier. I love playing with them….especially with my cute little bro, who keeps things moving and….interesting. LOVE YOU BABY!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Another blog about dating

Ah, the dating blog!! Well, if anyone is an advocate of dating to marry…without freaking out about timing and having a great time…like I have had to teach myself, this is the blog post for you. This blog post may make you say some if not all of the following things:

• Oh, I am so glad that I am not there anymore!
• Wow, she is reading way too into this
• Just commit already
• I guess beauty isn’t everything ;)
• Why yes, this is exactly what I am feeling
• What wonderful insights
• I am so glad she shared her feelings on dating
• Get over it
• Another dating blog post…woo hoo
• Uh….ok, totally tubular blog
• I like cookies

Over my very awesome experience being single…and for as long as I have (ha ha…side aching…breathe)...I must say, I have taken part in conversations and also counceled with other single people about the frustrations of progress.

Often times during my single life, I question what in the world I am doing and really trying to figure out the next step in my life. Obviously, I yearn for one particular step that is actually dependent on another person’s agency….so, I started debating what it was that I could do in my life that would make me happy without depending on someone else’s agency. I have had the opportunity to do some pretty cool things being single. However, there are some moments that I think, “Wow, this would be awesome to do with someone I really care about.” And then I get into the same self-pity cycle that single people very frequently experience (if you are not one of these people…eat it up, you are lucky). But if you are like me, you stress at least once a month about the future and what it holds.

I remember going home to Sierra Vista for a wedding reception. While I was there basking in the happiness of my dear friends, I was completely happy….really relishing the moment. I was approached by one of my dear former Bishop’s who said, “Wow, this is really great for them, isn’t it.” I smiled and said, “Yes, I am so excited for the both of them.” He then proceeded to ask me what was up in my dating life. (I was 20 at the time). I told him that I wasn’t seeing anyone currently, but I was so excited for the time that I would. He then said, “Well, I guess you just got used to being single so much that you can ‘t commit.” OUCH!! Sure 6 years ago….am I bitter? You betchya….ha ha ;)

So, is that it…that’s what it is? Absolutely not. To get a little defensive, of all the boys I have dated (people who I have called boyfriends), I have not broken it off with any….K, now that I have defended myself, it is time to move on to some awesome things that I found as I have been seeking hope in my marital future and progress as a single person.

In the talk Be a Quality Person by Elder Marvin J. Ashton, he said, “God bless you valiant single members. You are choice in our Heavenly Father’s eyes and in my eyes. The leaders of the Church pray that with the Lord’s help and our personal efforts, all of us can achieve happiness. Certainly when we choose the good part, regardless of our current situation, life will be lived to the fullest.”


But seriously, he continues with this amazing talk about finding happiness no matter what stage of life you are in. The whole thing is just so good that I will copy and paste my favorite parts...which is almost the whole thing. Jordan…sorry buddy, I know you don’t like when I publish whole articles ☺


A quality life is God’s greatest wish for us. Life is to be lived well in whatever circumstances we find ourselves. There should not be a waiting period.

A few months ago, I had the opportunity of talking with a woman who was worried about how she might prepare to be a good wife. I told her, “Don’t worry about being a good wife. Concern yourself with life’s number one priority: being a quality person. If you are a quality person, you don’t have to worry about being a good wife, mother, daughter, Church member, leader, single, or community strength. If you are a quality person, you will be good in any situation in which you find yourself.”

What makes up a quality person? Many traits and characteristics of a worthy nature are necessary for all of us, whether we’re married or single. Let me share a few thoughts. I hope you will think about them with me for just a few minutes.

1. If you have self-respect, you will take satisfaction in being well groomed and will not allow yourself to perform shabbily. You will continue to work toward high standards and goals to serve others, to continue and to practice self-discipline. You will not compromise your standards or beliefs.

Think of the confidence and joy that our Heavenly Father expressed when he said, “This is my beloved Son.” (Matt. 17:5.) Or as Jesus himself once said, “He that hath seen me hath seen the Father.” (John 14:9.) Each of us has the challenge to know the Father and to become one with Him.

William George Jordan once said, “Man has two creators, his God and himself. The first creator furnishes him the raw materials of his life—the laws and conformity with which he can make that life what he will. The second creator—himself—has powers he rarely realizes. It is what a man makes of himself that counts.”

Self-respect allows a person to know who he or she is and what is expected of him or her.

Set your goals—without goals you can’t measure your progress. But don’t become frustrated if the victories don’t come quickly or easily. Remind yourself that striving can be more important than arriving. If you are striving for excellence—if you are trying your best day by day with the wisest use of your time and energy to reach realistic goals—you are a success, and you can feel proud of your accomplishments.

2. A quality person is someone with integrity. To be worthy of the highest trust is a noble attribute and compliment. You will need to maintain confidences. Certainly it is greater to be trusted than loved. Truly happy persons will always be totally honest in their dealings with their fellowman.

3. A quality person will not be offended. In life there is no time for being hurt. There should be no time to be petty. A wise person will focus on principles of optimism and hope.

4. A quality person will develop the capacity to love and be lovable. We all need to take advantage of every opportunity to love with tenderness and sincerity. This will determine our eternal joys and progress. Ponder the truth that it is more important to love than to be loved.

Thomas P. Malone said: “Almost every emotional problem can be summed up in one particular bit of behavior: it’s a person walking around screaming, ‘… Love me.’ Love me, that’s all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.

“On the other hand, healthy people are those who walk around looking for someone to love. And, if you see changes in the people who are screaming, ‘Love me, love me,’ it’s when they realize that if they give up this screaming and go to the other business of loving another human, they can get the love they’ve been screaming for all their lives. It’s hard to learn, but it’s good when you learn it.” (“Points to Ponder,” Reader’s Digest, Jan. 1974, p. 151.)

5. A quality person will murmur not. He will not find fault or criticize, belittle, or nag. When I think of those who are examples of proficient murmuring on a continuing basis, I think of Laman and Lemuel in the Book of Mormon. By contrast I admire Nephi, who never murmured. Instead he was positive and had no time for contention, discouragement, or apathy.

Someone has wisely stated that hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is. We will not have time for apathy in life’s journey if we speak and think positively. Seek, search, and work for worthy eternal qualities and friends.

6. A quality person is one who has real faith. With true faith we will increase our meaningful relationship with God. This will develop and expand our knowledge that God is our father. He lives. He loves us. He hears our prayers and would lead us to eternal happiness. Remember that God and one are a family. What a comforting, heartening truth this is.

All of us must live with proper priorities and purposes. Don’t be harsh in your self-appraisal. Rather, measure yourself by whether or not you are living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

[Lindsey insert-how true this really is. I was chatting with a colleague about talking to people who cannot understand why the church frowns on homosexuality, she related a story to me about a talk that Elder Ballard gave in her home ward. He said that when talking with people who are irate about an issue such as this, it is important to talk about the ultimate truths of the gospel. Jesus loves everybody, regardless of who they love. When someone is interested in learning more, then that is where other doctrines of the gospel i.e. family proclamation, can dispel any misunderstanding of the issue. I can no longer be so harsh on people or myself for that matter.]

I like the way of life expressed by my friend, Carol Clark, administrative assistant to the Relief Society general presidency, when she says that the personal challenge is not to wait successfully but to live richly, fully, and joyfully. The goal is not to wait for the right person but to be the right person.

“The real fun of life is in overcoming obstacles while still happily hoping everything will work out. … I freely admit that living with my dreams unfulfilled has proven to be a softening, humbling influence because it’s been so hard. But the anchor is at hand, and because it is, I can progress, even though to date I’ve lost at love—the one thing I’ve wanted more in life than anything else save righteousness itself. …

“Last summer I complained to a non-Latter-day Saint friend that I was exhausted, having no fun, living like an automaton. Nonsympathetically, she countered, ‘What do you think this is? A dress rehearsal? This is your life, Carol. Fix it.’ I expected a pat and a kind word. Instead, I got a splash of reality square in the face. She was, of course, quite right. I wasn’t giving my life value, so I didn’t feel it had value. I went home, reread the parables of the sower and of the talents, and regrouped.” (A Singular Life, ed. Carol L. Clark and Blythe Darlyn Thatcher, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1987, pp. 35–36.)

Brothers and sisters, regroup, if that’s what is needed. Do not wait. Rather fill your life with service, education, personality development, love for all, and other such meaningful traits. Live with purpose each day. You are being unfair if you call yourself a failure because a proper marriage is not possible.

I know that some of you are single because of fears or difficult experiences in your past. I invite you to partake of the love of our Savior, who gave His life for each of us. He “manifesteth himself unto all those who believe in him, by the power of the Holy Ghost; yea, unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people, working mighty miracles, signs, and wonders, among the children of men according to their faith.” (2 Ne. 26:13.) Remember that He loves you, and so do we. Remember that all of us can learn to contribute today, no matter what happened yesterday or what awaits us tomorrow.

Maintain your perspective while making marriage a righteous goal in your life. Count what you do have—not what you don’t have. A quality life in any circumstances comes from remembering what Mormon taught, that if a man or woman doesn’t have charity or love, he or she is “nothing.” (See Moro. 7:44.)

I like the observations made by Karen Lynn Davidson in her excellent book, Thriving on Our Differences: “I have yet to see marriage, by itself, turn an unhappy person into a happy person. A really happy married person is almost always one who was or could have been happy as a single person.” (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1990, p. 39.)

I remind you again that compromising and lowering standards and ideals never have been and never will be tools of happiness. While we are striving for quality conduct in our lives, we must ever realize that being single will never be as painful as being married to the wrong person with wrong and selfish standards. A mate must be willing to share tender and loving associations in an eternal quest for life at its best. Avoid getting married just to be married. Feeling sorry for people or desiring to help them get their lives in order are poor reasons for marriage. Marriage should be based on love and shared values.

Even after a good marriage opportunity comes along, we should consider the wonderful things there are for us to do. How much richer life in every situation will be when we love others and find meaningful activities. Every child of God can profit from getting into a preparation mode, not in a waiting mode. Living without purpose is improper waiting. It can cause stagnation and ultimate despair. Think of President Spencer W. Kimball’s example:

To be in control of your life, to be a success regardless of your situation as a single, I recommend you come to know your Father in Heaven. Come to love Him. Always remember that He loves you and will give you guidance and support if you will but give Him the chance. Include Him in your decision making. Include Him in your heartaches and heartbreaks. Include Him when you take inventory of your personal worth. “For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men [and women] to perform their labors.” (Alma 34:32.)

As you strive to become a quality person, commune daily with your Heavenly Father who knows you best of all. He knows your talents, your strengths, and your weaknesses. You are here on the earth at this time to develop and refine these characteristics. I promise you He will help you. He is aware of your needs. He is aware of your unanswered prayers.

Brethren, I share some counsel with you from our prophets. President Ezra Taft Benson declared: “My dear single adult brethren, we are also concerned. We want you to know that the position of the Church has never changed regarding the importance of celestial marriage. It is a commandment of God. The Lord’s declaration in Genesis is still true: ‘And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.’ (Gen. 2:18.)” (Ensign, May 1988, p. 52.)

On another occasion, President Spencer W. Kimball shared an experience: “Recently I met a young returned missionary who is 35 years old. He had been home from his mission for 14 years and yet he was little concerned about his bachelorhood, and laughed about it.

“I shall feel sorry for this young man when the day comes that he faces the Great Judge at the throne and when the Lord asks this boy: ‘Where is your wife?’ All of his excuses which he gave to his fellows on earth will seem very light and senseless when he answers the Judge. ‘I was very busy,’ or ‘I felt I should get my education first,’ or ‘I did not find the right girl’—such answers will be hollow and of little avail. He knew he was commanded to find a wife and marry her and make her happy. He knew it was his duty to become the father of children and provide a rich, full life for them as they grew up. He knew all this, yet postponed his responsibility.” (Ensign, Feb. 1975, p. 2.)

President Benson also stated: “I realize that some of you brethren may have genuine fears regarding the real responsibilities that will be yours if you do marry. You are concerned about being able to support a wife and family and provide them with the necessities in these uncertain economic times. Those fears must be replaced with faith.

“I assure you, brethren, that if you will be industrious, faithfully pay your tithes and offerings, and conscientiously keep the commandments, the Lord will sustain you. Yes, there will be sacrifices required, but you will grow from these and will be a better man for having met them.

“Work hard educationally and in your vocation. Put your trust in the Lord, have faith, and it will work out. The Lord never gives a commandment without providing the means to accomplish it (see 1 Ne. 3:7).

“Also, do not be caught up in materialism, one of the real plagues of our generation—that is, acquiring things, fast-paced living, and securing career success in the single state.

“Honorable marriage is more important than wealth, position, and status. As husband and wife, you can achieve your life’s goals together. As you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you, and your commitment to the Lord and your service in His kingdom will be enhanced.” (Ensign, May 1988, pp. 52–53.)

All of my life I have been taught the virtue and necessity of patience. With all I know about the importance of this great quality, I still want to go on record at this time as saying that one of the areas of life that is most difficult for me to be patient with is a group of marriageable, mature men who delay, postpone, and neglect this important phase of life and eternity.

To marriageable, mature men, I call them unto repentance. Do not procrastinate the day of your repentance. Believe us when we tell you there is someone for you and God will help you find her. I have little patience for a marriageable, mature man who hasn’t found “Miss Perfect.” I believe some men think of themselves as “Mr. Perfect.” I suggest that any of these men who sincerely desire a happy, fulfilling, worthy life view single women and themselves more realistically. Don’t be afraid to seek out persons of the opposite sex who would be pleased to share dating and courtship time with someone who is worthy, sincere, and truly lovable.

There may be excuses and a failure to make the commitment to a worthy lady, but frankly it is hard to find reasons for indefinite delay and an unwillingness to adapt, adjust, and grow by participating in an eternal partnership.

Not long ago a young, marriageable-aged lady said to me, “When you go about speaking to single, marriageable-aged men, why don’t you tell them to ‘get with the program.’ ” Maybe that statement is a little blunt, but if her phrase speaks to the heart of the matter, I don’t hesitate to endorse it.

I say to our sisters, don’t delay marriage because of your career goals, educational desires, or unwillingness to change your life. You too must strive to find a worthy mate and live all the commandments of God.

Now, for those listening who are thinking, “This is the same old thing the Brethren always say to singles,” I remind you of the words of Amulek, “I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know.” (Alma 10:6.) Brethren and sisters, we love you, and we desire your welfare. That’s why we persist in teaching you the Lord’s way. It is your choice if you will have ears to hear our words. I pray you will seek your Heavenly Father’s guidance that you might know, then do what is right for you.

God will never stop helping us to become quality people. I promise you this. He will constantly help us to be our best when we walk in the light of truth, hope, and appreciation. Make yours a quality life, for you are important to the Lord and to us.

[Back to Lindsey. This really helped me understand with a surety that marriage and even dating is something that should be part of my progression. I am responsible for learning what that means in my life and what opportunities are present as I am doing my best. I am excited for what the future holds. I have a newfound testimony that the Lord has a plan for me. I am where I am because of the faith I have in a Heavenly Father who sees the whole picture and a Savior that is leading me toward happiness. I am not stressed about my future….will I on occasion….oh heavens yes. I am human after all….but I know where to turn when the human tendencies want to eat at me.]

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Saying Things Twice, Twice

I noticed that a lot of people like to say things twice. Not that it is wrong, they just do it. I do it. So, I am just wondering if it means something more if I say it more than once. Maybe something is more genuine and sincere when you say it twice??

What do you think?

Examples of things said twice:

Thank you, thank you
Done and done
Absolutely, Positively
Really, really (this may be a fad of Shrek)
No way, no way
Wait, wait
Stop, stop
Nope, no
Yep, uh huh
Ok, so I will do something, ok?
For a surety, I am sure
I know, I know

Monday, July 14, 2008

Crunching Metal and Family

The sound of crushing metal, cheers and jeers from the crowd, the revving of engines, smell of exhaust, sparks flying in engines, someone with bizarre dance moves winning 1 of 3 during a dance contest, 72 ounce carbonated beverages, cheering for the underdog, cheering for the winner, waiting for the next big ‘crash’ to make the crowd go wild, sense of community, mud flying toward the bleachers, shouting ‘did you see that’ after every hit….these are just some of the thing I love about demolition derbies!

This past weekend, I got to share it with my family…but not just with my parents and brothers…oh no, my aunts, uncles, cousins, cousin in-laws, best friends from college, cousins’ babies and maybe a dog….just kidding, no dog. This past weekend, I went up to Logan, where my family was visiting Grandma and Grandpa Blau.

Mom, Dad and I went ‘into town’ to see the opera, Aida. The performance was absolutely amazing. I was very impressed with the lead actress that played Aida. The music was moving and the set
design was very innovative. Costuming was very colorful, yet didn’t take away from the overall dramatic appeal. Though the singing was incredible, I felt that Amneris, who tries to thwart the love between Aida and Radames, displayed an uneasy edginess that threw me off a little bit. Though proclaiming that her love for Radames (main warrior character that both Amneris and Aida love) was pure, and though the words hinted that she really was in love with him, I couldn’t help but feel that she lacked sincerity. The uneasy feeling, whether it was her voice or her acting ability, did not seem to tug on that heart string of mine that says ‘yes, she really and truly is genuinely in love with him.’ Perhaps it was scripted that way to drive a wedge between the audience and her character, so that the other love scenes and exchanges between the main characters remained more powerful, engaging and meaningful.

Aida’s voice was amazing and she had this look in her eyes every time she sang with or about Radames.
I was entirely captivated by every exchange she had with her love and fully believed that she would do anything to be with her one and only. She had warmth, humor, seriousness and overall a sense of love of family and for her lover. All in her eyes…it was awesome!
The next day, I convinced my family to go to the Farmer’s Market in Logan. I was unaware that it was a Gardner’s Market….:) My dad said, “This isn’t a farmers/gardner market. This is a craft fair.” Oh, how my mom and I deceived him!! Mom and I had fun walking around talking about all the things there that we said we could make, but really couldn’t ever make! There were some pretty innovative things there, like this bowl that could twist around and around. It had dirt in it from Snow Canyon and you could make designs in it…very healing for creative minds. I should come up with slogans…

Then we all went back to he grandparents house and had dinner with them and a whole bunch of my other family members. Cousins, and cousins kids, and yes….a dog. It was so fun to be with so much family. It really makes me wonder if I should stop considering getting out of Utah,
which I contemplate at least once a month.

My mom asked me if she moved here, would I pay attention to her the way I do when she visits. It is a good question. I would love to, but what makes the present circumstance so awesome is that I do put everything else on hold while she is in town. And I don’t mind doing it. It isn’t a burden. BUT it would be so fun to have her here….would save on the phone bill too, that’s for sure.

The evening ended with a demolition derby.

Ah…Logan. The whole time, I kept saying how much I love it there. The memories just added to the wonderful time I was having. It is good to be with a family I love so much…even when they tease me about being single…I’ll take ‘em.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

What, you don't want to hear all about me?

I went out on a date last night with a guy I have been out with a couple times. For me, it just seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to know him, just us. I had only run into him at social scenes...and let's be honest...sometimes social scenes are not the best place for me to really get to know someone. Hence dating...right.

So, during our date, he was really attentive, asked a lot of questions and I would answer obligingly, you know as a date should be. Conversation rolling know. Well, into our date we ended up talking about 'connection' and 'communication' and what it means. I gave my very long opinion about the subject while he also provided feedback here and there. At the end, he asked what I thought was our strong suit. I said most definitely 'communication.' He then responded: "Oh...really...because it seems that I know a lot about you, but you don't know anything about me...really."

I couldn't help but laugh...what, you mean, you don't want to talk all about me!? Honestly.... ;)

Still laughing about it this morning...I read this article on MSN entitled Your Dating Bill of Rights. In the article it states:

You have the right to free speech. Yes, you want this person to like you, but that doesn’t mean you should alter your ideas or opinions to voice what you think your date wants to hear. Speak your mind! That said, make sure you encourage your date to speak freely, too. No one wants to hang out with a conversation hog.

The last phrase struck me...

Something I can most certainly improve.

Just so you all know, I am more than willing to hear what you have to say about the subject....hah hah.