Things that make me laugh

Things that made me laugh today:

• Seeing an elderly lady jamming to rap music
• Cute old men at the Evergreen library that wink at me
• Seeing cars accidentally driving on sidewalks that are meant to be sidewalks and not roads...how easily confusing though really...have you seen the sidewalk at the U that could be disguised as a road but is really a sidewalk? Yeah...
• My ridiculousness
• Music lyrics that say: grab onto my love handles
• When doors won't stay closed (my apartment) or open (my car)
• When my steering wheel squeaks
• When I am jamming to some good ole classical music with my windows down
• Seeing people nod off while taking notes and their notes look like t
  hi
  s
• Thinking I heard one thing when I really didn't hear what I thought that I heard, and nodding in agreement (this has gotten me in trouble before)
• Realizing I posted two things today
• Realizing I could spend all day online.....YIKES
  

Anxiety

The Anxiety Song
by Lindsey Blau

Anxiety
What a waste of time
Yet I end up getting lost in its power
I build myself up and up and up
Because conquering anxiety seems attainable after a great speech or inspirational presentation

Then I am slammed...
boom, in the face
Just another reminder that there is someone out there
Making sure, oh making sure I don't get power hungry

Power, easily attainable, right?
But what really gives me power?
Is it perception of power? I am powerful because you think I am
Conquering little stumbling blocks over time and gaining deserved respect?

Imagine not being powerful one day
Then all of a sudden I had the ability to move mountains with my pinkie.

Am I grateful? Am I?

So, anxiety of being powerless is what I make of it
Because I am not powerless
I am not restricted
I am given the chance to climb at the pace that suits me and God

I will conquer this mountain of anxiety
I will conquer this thing called dating!
I will conquer this uncontrollable circumstance called unemployment
I will conquer this thing of watching my phone waiting for a call...

Because I am powerful and know how to conquer this anxiety

Valentines Goodness

Talking with some of my guy friends, they insist that Valentines Day is a bunch of hooey. What is that movie that has the line "Valentines Day is just a day for all those businesses to make a little more money with cheap things like stuffed animals and bouquets of flowers." ?? I can't remember the name of the show, and don't really know if that is the line or not...but you get the point.

Why is Valentines Day for women so important? I really don't know, all I can say is that it is my favorite thing to be loved! It's true, who doesn't like to know that they are loved?

This Valentines Day is going to be hard to beat. I am in New Mexico, not the old Mexico, the new one...to hang with my BFF from high school, Keri Payne and her family. Not only do the kids want me to stay forever and ever (which I am sure Keri's husband Rus would love), but I pretty much just don't want to leave. There wasn't a day that went by where I wasn't involved in some kind of artistic/running around/playing with kids all day/eating/baking kind of activity. Just a couple highlights:

• Bekah and I were playing dolls in church, and the daddy doll was doing all kinds of crazy things. When I went to make sure Bekah's dress didn't fly over her head, she said, "Who did that? You or the daddy doll." I said, "The daddy doll." She said, "What! Did he see my panties?" Oh dear.... I believe I took the blame for that one
  
• Waking up with smiley Beau every morning...actually I slept in, but I got to see him when I woke up. I really have never known a more smiley kid...
• Taking pics of all of Keri's kids, until they went blind...ssh, I don't think she knows, but Jacob may have run into the wall after I took 29 pics of him in a row
• Baking goodies after the kids went to bed and hiding them so we could have them all to ourselves
• Late night chats
• Tyler coming to visit too
• Playing tricks on the kids
• Drawing life-size drawings and hanging them on the wall
• Valentines Dinner-adorned with candles, sparkling cider, heart-shaped plates and straws, making heart-shaped pizzas, dipping angel food cake in chocolate, sneaking kisses from unsuspecting parties
• Let's not forget Valentines Breakfast with pink heart-shaped pancakes and the all incredible cupid pancake that for some reason couldn't be flipped...as if it refused!
  
• Dancing around with glow sticks and jamming to really loud music
• Going to Explora and having more fun than the kids! Maybe we lost them a couple times....
• Saying nightly prayers, everyone has their turn
• Picnics on the living room floor
• Quiet-time hanging on my bed
• Dancing around the kitchen...pretty much there was a lot of dancing all weekend
• Going to church and loving it!
• The time I heard Bekah and Jacob playing and they were about to go and attack the bad guys with light sticks and Bekah said: "Come on Jacob, let's go, but first we have to do our taxes."
• Finding out about the night fairies that come and sprinkle dust on the kids' eyes at night so they sleep well, or about the gunny bunny who comes in and steals all the toys if they are not picked up, and the hair fairies that come and dance in your hair and make knots...all these things I didn't know existed...Yikes
• Getting songs stuck in our head. If not the whole song, at least part of it
• Using plastic wrenches to perform open-heart surgery
• Going to the Albequerque temple with Keri....highly recommended to also bring a picture-taker
  

There are so many other good times that we had...it is hard to list them all. But I think that gives you a pretty good highlight. So, boys...you have a pretty hefty load when it comes to fulfilling all my future Valentine expectations. The bar has been set pretty high and you have Keri and her family to thank for that!

In the words of my good friends who wrote Moulin Rouge, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

Mommy questions

All right all you mommies out there. Since I don't really want to send you all a survey, because let's be honest, you really aren't going to fill it out...maybe you can help me out anyway. I have just a couple questions that have been on my mind since December. Oh...and it has been pointed out to me that even people who are not mommies may actually have an opinion about these things too...

1. What brand of detergent REALLY keeps the colors in? The commercials are all throwing me off. Which brand do I buy? I have this amazing black shirt that I wear almost twice a week. Oh, those Target-brand crew cut shirts are just heaven. But who knows if they are going to be in style next year. I did not do the smart thing and purchase at least 5 of them to stock up....oh dear. I must preserve the one I have. What do I do?

2. Am I really supposed to lose that MUCH hair when I shower? I mean I am not pulling out clumps or anything, but my goodness, when I run my fingers through my wet hair...I can't help but notice that it just keeps coming out.

3. According to friend TAMN from the bestest blog ever: Seriously So Blessed, I am considered a spinsty. Well this is one spinsty that does not want wrinkles, no matter how old I am. What inexpensive brand of facial cream do you recommend? My skin is not oily or dry, I am in-between. Any really great anti-wrinkle creams?

4. How many boxes of Christmas decor do you have? How many are appropriate?

5. At what point should you set up Christmas or take it down? I did good this year...I think Christmas came down in the first week of January, but last year, I left Christmas up until February 14th. That seemed like a great day to take it down...

Notwithstanding My Weakness

I interviewed with a company the other day that asked me what I have a hard time 'dealing with' in the workplace. Obviously, being human, who wants to answer that question? That is just like when you are out on a first date and the guy says, "What is your ultimate weakness: a.k.a. what are the reasons why we should never date again?" Hah hah. WOAH, WOAH.

I have had that question asked of me before during job interviews, and have managed to not really go into too much detail because I want to seem perfect for the job (as all of us do during interviews, right?). This time, I answered honestly. I gave specific examples of situations where I had a hard time 'dealing' with things. Overall though I realized that I soon overcame the problems I had and moved forward. All in all, the interview went well. We were able to laugh about things...and I am excited to see what happens.

Looking back at certain circumstances in my life, I haven't always been able to move forward as easily, and have realized that I am still training myself to do better. I am reading a book by Neal A. Maxwell called, "Notwithstanding My Weakness." I highly recommend this book for anyone who finds themselves constantly struggling with weakness (even if you don't admit it, but secretly know in your heart).

I wanted to share some quotes that were pretty profound for me, as I struggle to be better:

"Moving forward is what the Lord expects of us. Into the brief, fleeting time allotted to each of us must be crowded challenges that will help us, in our weaknesses, to develop the qualities we now lack. The presence of stress may be needed for their development. The same availability to experience adversity will be ours, for 'the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.' To expect immunity is niavete."

"In overcoming our weaknesses, pain is almost inevitable-perhaps even some exposure to embarrassment...Motivation can arise out of humiliation, just as determination can grow out of depravation. Opportunity may lie hidden within seeming tragedy." (Maxwell, p. 20-21)

Overcoming a weakness doesn't happen overnight, just as a true change of heart doesn't happen overnight. Overcoming our weaknesses means that we need to practice and understand patience. Just like watching a plant grow, the buds don't bloom right away. With the correct amount of nourishment-water, sunlight, kind words ;) the plant will develop strong roots and will be able to withstand storms and will blossom more than just once.

Overcoming weakness also means we need to have hope that we CAN overcome. With the help of the Lord anything is possible. In the book, Maxwell says that we need total love and obedience to God and that when we become trustingly patience in our experiences, that we recognize the circumstances of life are really deemed for our good. "Such total love of and obedience to God means also that we no longer presume to teach God knowledge or murmur at the manner in which His plans unfold....Though the world sees it differently, righteous obeying is growing; righteous complying is stretching." (Maxwell, p. 32-33)

The book is amazing and I wish I could share more with you, but you will just have to buy it. As I am going through some very interesting circumstances right now, I know that my patience, hope and understanding is being tried everyday. I often have to remind myself that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Lately, I have been struggling with the 'Am I doing everything in my power to make sure it does? Am I doing my very best? What or who defines what 'best' means? If I don't do my best, will the Lord still help me?'

These are all questions I don't know the answer to. All I know is that I am doing the best I can with what I have been given. Sure, sleeping in until 10:30 might not be the best. I could feel inadequate everyday and not recognize that I am just being stretched. But, I choose to listen, trust, hope, have patience with and obey the Lord the best I can, notwithstanding my weakness.