Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Marriage Learning Curve, Lesson 5: Confess Your Expenses, Even if You May Think They Are Justified

Sweetheart and I are saving our pennies. Yes, that's right. Even though we both have great jobs, we have had to altar our comfortable lifestyle and be careful about spending. We have both been down this road before, but for some reason, it is harder to do together. How could this be?? The road is long and hard, especially with different spending habits. 

In the meantime, I went to the library on Saturday to study. I find the best studying happens there. The parking lot was crowded, and it made me happy to think that so many people were going to the library. Little did I know that the whole library was having a book sale. I knew that concentrating might be tough, but I went forward with headphones, highlighters, pens, and books. I set all my things up, got ready to go, and couldn't stop thinking about all those books for sale. I won't say that I bit my nails, because I have since stopped that nasty habit, even though sweetheart might tell you differently. 

After reading two paragraphs of my PMP book, I couldn't take it anymore, I had to participate in the sale, and by participate I mean act as the purchaser/buyer. I wandered the aisles of full bookcases in wonder. I felt like Belle on Beauty and the Beast, like Joe from Little Women. I wanted to read each cover, but I told sweetheart that I was studying, and really, I needed to study. So, I only read a couple. I ended up buying 10 books. With the purchase out of the way, I could finally sigh with relief and get back to studying. I knew sweetheart and I were meeting up later, so I finished up, but not before I checked one more area for other books that I might have missed. I ended up buying 6 more books. 16 books!!

At this point I was reluctant to tell sweetheart. I mean, here we are pinching and saving, eating Ramen again, and I go off and spend money on books. I was ashamed, and felt super guilty. But I was able to justify myself into the purchases thinking, "These are books I just bought...BOOKS. There is nothing wrong with buying something that will invigorate my mind, help me learn and grow, could potentially help my children learn and grow, right? AND it is helping the children of Fairfax...way to go Fairfax County library!"

Either way, I decided I wasn't going to tell sweetheart about the purchase, and kept the books in the backseat of my car, where he might never look.

The first thing I blurted out when I saw sweetheart again was "There was a book sale at the library today, and I didn't think I could study, but I did." (Insert nervous laugh here). We ended up talking about this and that and I was quickly able to avoid the conversation that I just spent a lot of moola on books. (Wipe forehead "Whew"). 

Sweetheart and I ended up taking an excursion to Dora Kelly Nature Park. We took my car on the way there and he saw the bag of books and said, "Huh, did you find the sale?" I sheepishly looked at him and said, "No! Who do you think I am!?" The subject was dropped, and we had a lovely evening together.

The next day after church, because I was feeling penitent, and even though I knew that he already knew, I said "Honey, I have a confession. I bought a bunch of books at the sale yesterday." We just looked at each other and laughed. Of course he already knew, and confessed he knew the moment I said "book sale."

It is a sad day when I have to hide my purchased books in the backseat of my car ;) Good thing I really didn't hide them. And that is where my next piece of advice for marrieds comes from - don't keep expenditures from each other, and if you do....make it funny.

I guess I better tell him I bought a couple boxes of cookies yesterday too, even though we are over our grocery budget.....

1 comment:

David's Holla Atchya! Blog said...

I think books probably strengthen marriages, unless you're throwing them at each other. Good lesson learned.