Saturday, January 28, 2017

The Marriage Learning Curve, Lesson 8: I Hide the Poptarts

Hidden away in my cupboard are varying food items that are purposefully hidden. There is a scene in the Family Man, not my favorite movie, but a fun scene nonetheless - where Tea Leoni's character is enjoying a large piece of chocolate cake. Nicolas Cage's character sees this and gets truly exacerbated because he was planing on having the last piece of chocolate cake. They end up wrestling over it.

Since as long as I can remember, I have stashed the good food stuffs for myself. From the time I was young, I would hide my favorite food items in places no one would ever find them in the pantry - behind the canned food items, for example. I don't know how this started, but have a theory.

I savor. I eat slowly so I can enjoy every bite. Sometimes, I close my eyes. Other times, my friends are embarrassed to be around me because I make yummy noises at restaurants. In this regard, I like the good stuff to last. And often, growing up - the good stuff would disappear after one or two days.  

But I was planning on having that two days, because I had one yesterday, I am having chocolate covered pretzels today, and cheesecake tomorrow...therefore HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY COOKIE.

I often have a plan with my food. It requires that I save it as long as I can. I don't know why; this has always just...been.

Since being married, this concept of 'saving food' for when I anticipate a craving, is non-existent. I am married to someone who lacks discipline to stop eating. Left-overs were never a thing for him and his family. And when there are left-overs, they are quickly forgotten and end up going bad if I don't remind him they are there.

The Poptarts I bought just two days ago....are gone. The 4 boxes of cereal I bought 2 weeks ago...gone yesterday. Not to mention that My Sweetheart always says how bad these things are for him. So, I buy them thinking that maybe, just maybe, one day when I am craving Marshmallow Maties because I just love the gooshy marshmallow goodness, I will have a bag left. Nope.

Back in my college days, I used to share staple food items (milk, eggs, butter) with my roommates. Over time, I developed "Roommate Meetings" where when we would first move in together, we could air out any items that 'bugged' us, so that the other roommates would get and understand pet peeves beforehand. It saved a lot of heartache and potential drama to do this. 

My 'bugs and recommendations' were: 
  • If you finish the milk, you are responsible for buying more milk - same day. Heaven forbid that I wake up thinking I have breakfast all taken care of, and have to eat my cereal with water...or not eat cereal at all *gasp
  • Do your dish, or if you don't, don't leave crap in so I have to soak your dish
This food thing has been a source of contention in our marriage. On those days where I have something in mind to cook for our family, and the main ingredient has been eaten - with no regard to my meal preparation - I can't help but get upset.  Not to mention that some of the things eaten doesn't make sense:

Why, why did you have to eat two bags of sharp cheddar cheese for lunch? Really? Couldn't you find something else substantial to those frozen meals that you pop in the microwave, or the left-over roast and mashed potatoes we had last night?

And so, after many an argument about how I savor, and My Sweetheart's lack of food discipline, I have incorporated a couple of things:
  • Get that food is food, and that we both need it to survive - stop being so grumpy about when food is gone - at least he is eating.
  • I label my food (particularly my fancy French jam). My Sweetheart doesn't have refined tasted buds like mine and doesn't mind non-fancy jam. So, I label my food.
  • My Sweetheart doesn't often have patience for waiting for the microwave, so I have just accepted that I need to buy more cereal and milk. I needed to stop fighting this one, even though cereal is extremely expensive and unhealthy.
  • I put the leftovers right on top of other items in the refrigerator.
  • I put a limitation on the amount of cheese he could eat per day so it could last for at least 1 week 1/2, with which he agrees - and I am grateful.
  • I buy two of the things I know he pounds, like bread.
  • He checks in with me if he wants to slam a gallon of ice cream.
  • I buy him 'food presents' so that he can remember that I love him in spite of the fact he ate my food. 
We are still working on the 'please replace my item same day' business, which is why I still hide my Poptarts. 

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