Thursday, February 20, 2014

Getting Out of Bad Habits

I wake up every morning and do the same routine to get ready to go to work in my home office. I wake up before the alarm (thank you body), roll out of bed cautiously because when I am tired I bump into things, make my side of the bed, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and my hair, sometimes shower, but mostly I stay in my pajamas, turn on the computer, read articles from the BBC, and get to work. I work for about an hour until I am ready to eat breakfast, and then, the day goes on in similar fashion.

It has only been 3 weeks, and I have grown fond of my routine. I can't help but wonder, "What happens when the monotony of doing the same thing every morning prevents me from being an effective morning worker?" That's when I realized the routine will most likely become disturbed and frustrated.

I find that being stuck in the same routine morning after morning has created a very interesting cushion to my comfortable life, which is interesting because I also firmly believe how important it is not to remain in the same comfortable spot if I am going to progress. Comfort provides a false sense of stability and can breed bad habits.

I used to live in a large city where I would often gripe that I couldn't get everything done that I needed/wanted to because it took me forever to get from point A to point B. At the time, I made the resolve that if I ever had 'more time' to spare, that I would get so much more done. I would workout, and cook dinner, and complete visiting sisters in my church, and would call everyone I loved, and work out, and would finally finish that Snapfish project I have been working on, and would blog at every opportunity, and would deep clean my house. 

Now having moved to a slower pace environment, where I could REALLY do all those things, when I stop working, I turn on movies until I have to go to sleep. There was one week where I made dinner, cleaned my house, called people I knew, completed unpacking my house, made arrangements to hang all my art, worked out everyday, etc. And now, I am comfortable sitting around at the end of my working hours and watching all the shows I put off for 3 years because I was 'too busy.' Do you see the issue? "Comfortable" in this case, is a bad thing. Comfortable has become a bad habit.

My sweetheart is attending school where there are a ton of fun activities that we can be a part of and/or go to. Every evening he brings home a flier of something awesome that is FREE and going on at the University that is literally 4 minutes from our apartment. Every night I say, "We should go!" Then I get into this space that if he doesn't make the move to go, I won't either. It is weird....and I know it is based on those bad habits I formed in Virginia. When we lived in a place surrounded by super cool things to do all the time, there was always the hope that we would be able to do this and that, but because we were occupied with trying to defeat IT (depression), we never really did anything.We got comfortable...well, not really comfortable because I resented that we never did anything, but you catch my drift.

I find that my sweetheart has defeated some of his bad habits, but now I am the one stuck and preventing him from doing things...particularly things that contribute to an incredibly well-rounded educational experience. Do I have IT? Or I am just at a 'comfortable space?' How long should I stay in this comfortable space before it becomes unhealthy? 

I think this also goes back to the fact that I am constantly on the go. Virginia was good for me in that I always had something to do, but it left me unfulfilled at the end of the day. I could always pass it off saying, "I did the best I could today". Honestly, Virginia was also bad for me in that I never rested. Since having moved here, I have been sick three good right? Or is it? Maybe illness is what it takes to slow me down. Maybe my body is trying to catch up from all the running I did when I lived out east. Who knows?

I recall the post where I said, "I always feel the most content during the holidays with my family. During this time though, I get super, super lazy. I don't help out around the house, I laze around for hours on end. I only help when asked. Because for me, I am trying to gather strength to run fast when the holidays are over. I am realizing that this mentality is not very healthy." 

I am back with that same mentality, but this time I am not on vacation. This is my everyday life we are talking about here. And I need to get back in the game. But how? How do I do it? I don't want to overdo it the way I always do! Do I take it one step at a time, like get dressed in the morning for starters? Here are some things I thought of:
  • Cooking: Instead of trying to cook every night, attempt to cook 4 of 7 nights and make enough for leftovers so I am not cooking every night and won't burn out.
  • Health: Work out even if I am sick, even if it is a walk around the block. I promised myself that I would start working out daily. Because I have been sick almost the entire time I lived here, this has really put a damper on my plan to be healthy. Funny how that works. Because I want to get better, I have been sleeping most of the time, and/or watching movies and 'resting.' BAD HABIT.
  • Going out: Attend one or two free events with my sweetheart a week. Saturday, my sweetheart mentioned at least 4 things he wanted to do in addition to our trip to Idaho Falls to go shopping. He forgot that he agreed to meet up with a friend after our shopping excursion. I tried to be supportive of all these other things he wanted to do, but knowing we take forever to get groceries and knowing we were trying to meet up with a friend, we both ended up being super frustrated with one another. He has since stopped making suggestions about things for us to do. That makes me sad. I too, don't follow through when he tells me about doing things because we have so often not followed through. Now I have a chance to say, "That was then, this is now."
  • Budget: Just complete the darn thing. When my sweetheart and I tried doing this the first couple of times, we ended up fighting and going to bed several nights super angry with one another. That was then, this is now. Bite the bullet and do it.
Maybe if I focus on these four things, I can start creating new and better habits. I need to remember that things that happened and defined my relationship with my sweetheart in the past can always be altered given the right attitude and help from God.  I know that as I conquer these 'much too comfortable, bad habits' that I will be happier.

Maybe while I am trying to be better, you can tell me, what things have you done to get out of your bad habits?

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