Sunday, January 17, 2010

Reflections

You have generally read my reflections as 'life's lessons' or 'little lessons learned.' I recognize that I, indeed, have learned a lot in the past two weeks about myself and about God. Therefore, I will share my reflections.

I have learned that:
  • Despite the fact I give myself a time limit to feeling a certain way, it doesn't mean that the time limit will work. I realized that even as it may become easier to cast disappointment aside, that it will still hurt from time to time. That is all part of growth.
  • Surrounding myself by loved ones who love me unconditionally is a GREAT blessing when I am struggling.
  • The Lord keeps His promises, which was not something that I really believed before. But now I can say that I know it. I still struggle with this concept sometimes, but the foundation of this truth has been laid, I just need to start building on what I know.
  • There is someone who will care about me enough to want to be with me. That despite the fact I have quirks and weaknesses, that it will work out. I, in turn, will always try to be the best person I can be in order to work on those funny things about myself that will contribute to a life of learning about Jesus Christ and His plan of happiness through growing experiences and self-mastery.
  • Even if someone I care about doesn't care about me in the same way, that I need to accept their reasoning as something that is valid and unarguable. In other words, I need to respect that they know what is best for them and what will help them grow and succeed in the long run. I am still struggling to accept this as it has been very easy for me to place blame and play the victim card when things in my life haven't gone the direction I would have hoped.
  • The Lord is really with me all the time through disappointed hopes by sending me friends and family who care about me no matter what and who see my value as a women and child of God when I don't have the ability to look beyond my despair.
  • Under the circumstances, I have actually grown up a little bit and have more of an opportunity to grow close to my Father in Heaven and trust that He knows what is best for me, even when I think that what is best for me is behind me and I have no control over it.
  • There is a lot to look forward too, something that in the past, I have not been able to recognize.
  • I need to look at past romantic relationships as 'opportunities passed' instead of 'disappointed expectations.'
  • I know that I can get through these situations when I rely on my Savior to help me do better than I did last time. The reality is that there are still some days where my anxieties take over and I forget about everything I have learned about myself and my Father in Heaven and His plan. It almost seems like I can never relax in understanding His plan for me, and that satan grabs a hold of everything I know is true and slams it against the wall. It is exhausting sometimes trying to keep the adversary away from my thoughts. But I know light prevails against darkness. It has always been and will continue to be.
I sound so grown-up, don't I? ;)

3 comments:

Anything but housework said...

You have inspired me and a lot of others.

Whitney said...

You are so amazing. And brave to post your feelings! Way to go Lindsey! Hang in there...we all love you!

SHELLS BELLS! said...

Amen to everything you wrote. Love ya