Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Flo the Klepto

I talk to inanimate objects. It's true. I named my computer Trixie for various reasons, but one being that if she is ticking me off, I can call her out on it. Example: "Trixie you are crashing on me, really? Really?" My car, Xena, and I also have conversations about all car-related detail including when to get the chip located on the passenger side repaired, when she needs an oil change, etc.

Recently, I started talking to my dresser. Upon looking for the perfect thing to wear on a date, instead of getting frustrated that I looked and looked and looked (I even went through my winter clothes that are in storage), I decided to talk to my dresser about it. Upon rummaging for this 'oh so amazing shirt,' the conversation went something like this:

L: So, I see you have a tendency to swallow some of my favorite things. Well, I know that you can't hide that shirt I want so much to wear on my hot date tonight. You know the one I am talking about, the one with the sleeves, about this color (holding up another shirt).

Dresser: Silence

I rummage around some more...nothing.

L: C'mon, I know you know where it is. Don't you want me to find it? I mean really...if I find this shirt, there is a potential that I will get a 2nd date, cause this shirt makes me look young, flirty and fun. Then if I get a lot more dates, I could get married and instead of talking to you, my dear inanimate object (and by you, I mean myself), I can talk to someone else instead. What a proposition. So, what do you think?

Dresser: Mocking silence.

After rummaging for what seemed 10 minutes, I began to get annoyed.

L: Fine, we'll see about that (obviously having no idea what I was talking about).

I proceeded to empty my dresser of all my clothing....and then HAZAA, I found it! The shirt that would surely score me a second date...and then maybe one more. And if my dresser stops eating all of my clothes, maybe...just maybe, I will give up talking to and naming inanimate objects. Until then, I feel the dresser now deserves her own name. I am thinking Flo the Klepto. What do you think?

6 comments:

Anything but housework said...

There is this great movie called "The Lost Room" Where objects are very important to some people.

SHELLS BELLS! said...

Flo the Klepto is a great name! I hope you get a second date :)

Angela said...

Very funny! Good luck on the date!

A Bunch of Paynes said...

Klepto Flo..mm mm. Trouble Trouble. If only she could magically produce new clothes that fit perfectly that you didn't know you had. That would be my kind of dresser. Just a fun little side note, I'm writing this in my bedroom. My bedroom that smells like kerosene. WhY? Because Rus likes to keep a full lantern in here in case the lights go out. Not a flashlight, a LANTERN. And my super cute kids took it down and laid it down sideways on my upholstered rocking chair. The chair that is also holding my Gs, ready to be folded and put away, but which seem to ALSO reek of kerosene. I'm going downstairs to find chocolate.

Lish Fish said...

Love ya babe. Love Flo too. Glad you found what you were looking for.

Jana and Brett said...

haha you crack me up. I have a vague memory of us naming our cars in High School. I believe we dubbed my car: "LA BANA"...later I found out that my sis and bro renamed her: The Rice Rocket. Theirs is better...shoot.