I talk to inanimate objects. It's true. I named my computer Trixie for various reasons, but one being that if she is ticking me off, I can call her out on it. Example: "Trixie you are crashing on me, really? Really?" My car, Xena, and I also have conversations about all car-related detail including when to get the chip located on the passenger side repaired, when she needs an oil change, etc.
Recently, I started talking to my dresser. Upon looking for the perfect thing to wear on a date, instead of getting frustrated that I looked and looked and looked (I even went through my winter clothes that are in storage), I decided to talk to my dresser about it. Upon rummaging for this 'oh so amazing shirt,' the conversation went something like this:
L: So, I see you have a tendency to swallow some of my favorite things. Well, I know that you can't hide that shirt I want so much to wear on my hot date tonight. You know the one I am talking about, the one with the sleeves, about this color (holding up another shirt).
I rummage around some more...nothing.
L: C'mon, I know you know where it is. Don't you want me to find it? I mean really...if I find this shirt, there is a potential that I will get a 2nd date, cause this shirt makes me look young, flirty and fun. Then if I get a lot more dates, I could get married and instead of talking to you, my dear inanimate object (and by you, I mean myself), I can talk to someone else instead. What a proposition. So, what do you think?
Dresser: Mocking silence.
After rummaging for what seemed 10 minutes, I began to get annoyed.
L: Fine, we'll see about that (obviously having no idea what I was talking about).
I proceeded to empty my dresser of all my clothing....and then HAZAA, I found it! The shirt that would surely score me a second date...and then maybe one more. And if my dresser stops eating all of my clothes, maybe...just maybe, I will give up talking to and naming inanimate objects. Until then, I feel the dresser now deserves her own name. I am thinking Flo the Klepto. What do you think?