Starbucks has come out with an instant coffee.
Just put it in a cup, add hot water, and then call out your name incorrectly.
Archaeologists in Ethiopia have discovered a 4.4-million-year-old skeleton believed to be the earliest known human ancestor and they're calling her "Ardi."
However, Larry King is insisting her name was "Jan."
There's a shortage of ammunition, so
Because if you want to tick off ANY customer, make it the guy who buys bullets. is limiting the number of bullets they'll sell to a single customer...
- Conan O'Brien
The average woman can keep a secret for 47 hours.
The average man can pretend to be interested in the secret for an average of 30 seconds.
Doctors are trying to decide whether being fat should be classified as a medical disease.
I think it should be. So next time your wife says, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" you can go, "Honey, I am not a doctor."