Adversary

Most understand the feelings of having a foe, enemy, opponent, rival, or opposition. I have felt very real opposition in my life. Being a people-pleaser, it has been hard for me to have enemies, or opposition. I have come to understand opposition as something that needs to exist, so that I can learn what it means to truly have joy, to learn and progress, and to conquer the feelings I have when I find out I have an enemy. Being a religious person, I have learned a great deal about loving my enemies, and still have yet to understand Christlike love in all it verities. 

In the past several years, I have also come to understand and acknowledge an enemy that is so tricky, the tactics are hardly recognizable. I shared something with someone close to me about the real pull of an unseen enemy - the adversary. As I described my feelings and how I came to recognize this unseen adversary, the response I received was, " Huh, weird." At first, I was taken aback. I recoiled into my defensive shell thinking: "Weird, she dares call this weird, this is real!"

I realized that how I was speaking about what I was experiencing may seem weird to someone who may not have thought about the idea before. Hence, this post. When I say that there is an unforeseen enemy called the adversary, this is what I mean:

• There are dark influences that would have us believe we are nothing
• The adversary cannot touch us - not tangible
• The adversary can whisper lies
• The adversary cannot make choices for us
• How we react to this adversary is up to us - the adversary cannot force us to do anything
• The adversary is not to be confused with the effects of someone who has been psychologically diagnosed

There may be several who disagree with me or feel I am giving credence to something purely unbelievable. Thank you for your opinion and for allowing me to express mine. 

I recently had a friend post the following quote:

"Whenever the adversary cannot persuade imperfect yet striving [people] such as you to abandon your belief in a personal and loving God, he employs a vicious campaign to put as much distance as possible between you and God. The adversary knows that faith in Christ—the kind of faith that produces a steady stream of tender mercies and even mighty miracles—goes hand in hand with a personal confidence that you are striving to choose the right. For that reason he will seek access to your heart to tell you lies—lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.

As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence. Whatever you do, whatever you pray for, whatever hopes for a miracle you may have, there will always be just enough self-doubt chipping away at your faith—not only your faith in God but also your confidence in yourself. Living the gospel in this manner is no fun, nor is it very healthy. Above all, it is completely unnecessary! The decision to change is yours—and yours alone." -Elder Jörg Klebingat

Before I understood what the adversary really is, I was stuck in this trap of self-doubt. I ended up blaming myself, then getting angry with myself and others. Granted I can choose how I react to this information...but sometimes, just sometimes I wished I knew how to deal with it better.